A Passionate Spirit, Uncompromised

[Eussiah]

(This turned out to be rather long. I apologize for the length, and thank anyone who reads the whole thing.)

This is an analysis of one aspect of this song: why the persona praises his mother for beliefs he doesn't agree with. This is an important point, as the emotional experience of the song depends on understanding it. Yes, we could say, "Well, let's just not worry about whether Maynard believes in God or not, and enjoy the song." But I think the song becomes much deeper when you do consider this. I think a lot of people are missing some of the really beautiful ideas in the lyrics.

Firstly, I see no evidence here or elsewhere that Maynard has had a religious conversion. I cannot see how any but the most shallow interpretation can yield this conclusion. Others have pointed out that he references "your maker," not simply "God." Someone also pointed out that shaking one's fist at the gates and demanding something from God is considered a sin. This is true. This is not a scenario one Christian would imagine for another. Christianity generally imagines that death is a submission to God, where you humbly accept judgement of your life. The most holy person does not demand wings, but rather bows down before God and claims he is not worthy. Judgement is in God's hands alone. But here, the persona of the song has already made his judgement, and imagines that his mother can also judge for herself. Here the roles are reversed. God humbly comes before the deceased, to accept her demand.

If this last point was merely evidence that Maynard has not converted, it would be a mere curiosity. But it is more than that. This brings me to the real issue. There is a passage in the Bible that illustrates the point well:

"I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot; I would thou wert cold or hot. So, then, because you art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth." - Rev 3:15,16

(Lest I be misunderstood: I am an atheist. I am not quoting the Bible because I believe in it. My beliefs or lack thereof about God are not relevant.)

These words are spoken by Jesus to an entire church. The general interpretation is that these people have not been totally dedicated to God (hot or cold), but only somewhat dedicated. They pay lip service to God, but are really hypocrites. They have some passion for their faith, but not enough. They are lukewarm, undecided, sinners who repent and then sin again. Jesus rejects them (spews them from his mouth). They are not worthy of salvation. They are, pretty much, ignorant fibbers. A collective Judas. They follow God's word, but then betray it in the same breath.

(Note: "Cold" does not refer to being totally against God. Both hot and cold are interpreted by scholars to mean totally dedicated to God, just in different ways.)

The mother in the song is totally dedicated to her faith. She is not lukewarm. She goes all the way, makes all the effort, and does everything she should. She is not a hypocrite. "A passionate spirit, uncompromised."

Now, another quote. This one is from the poet T.S. Eliot, from his famous poem The Hollow Men (http://www.cs.umbc.edu/~evans/hollow.html).

"Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow"

Also:

"Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow"

This is saying essentially the same thing as the Bible quotation above. The poem as a whole speaks about "hollow men," "empty men." These are men like the ones Jesus spews from his mouth. They have no dedication, no drive to accomplish anything, no purpose. The quote above talks about the difference between having the potential to do something, and actually doing it. There is a difference between having and idea or conception and making that idea a reality, a creation. In between is the Shadow, the realm described by Eliot in the poem. This is where the hollow men exist. They are human beings with the potential to become something, to do something. But they do nothing. Instead they waste their gifts. They do not create, they do not make new realities. They are not passionate enough. The church Jesus speaks to in the Bible quotation would fall into this category. They have the means, but no motivation.

One final quote:

"Do, or do not. There is no try." - Yoda

What Yoda says in The Empire Strikes Back summarizes all these ideas in two simple sentences. There are those who do things, who are always hot or cold, never lukewarm. Then there are those who only "try," but trying is really meaningless unless it results in something being done. The persona's mother does not just try to live according to her faith (like the ghouls do), she actually does it.

(Continued Below)

[Eussiah]

And now, the song itself.

The persona's mother is "a passionate spirit, uncompromised." She is not like the hollow men, or the collective Judas. She sticks to her faith, is not hypocritical ("never lived a lie"), and really does what she says she does. We all respect Maynard (and Tool in general) for the same exact reason. They set out to make good music. They have never compromised themselves. They didn't put out an album every two years. They would rather wait five years to make something worthwhile. This is not an issue of selling out vs. true art. What they do tends to make their records fly off the shelves and their shows sell out to capacity. This is as it should be. They worked hard, they created something truly worthwhile. They don't just "try," like so many bands out there today, but they actually "do." What phrase could better described Tool than "a passionate spirit, uncompromised?"

The persona of the song is also an uncompromised, passionate spirit. We know this already. We've been listening to his albums for years, and we still do because we respect that spirit. We recognize that it sets him apart from other singers, other bands. But where did he get this uncompromising spirit from?

His mother suffers terrible trials and tribulations, ones that most of us cannot imagine. Yet she keeps her faith. She remains uncompromised. She demonstrates what it means to "do," what it means not to fall into the Shadow. She is the living piece of the divine. She is a hero. We always admire those who stick to their guns, who never waver, who seem stronger than the rest of us. These are the heros. We romanticize about following their path, walking in their footsteps, being like they are. The ghouls of the congregation romanticize about following in her footsteps, but they don't actually do it. They pretend to have survived hardships uncompromised, but really haven't.

But enough about the collective Judas. The song is focused on the persona himself and his mother. He believes his mother's way of living, her heroism, is what makes her great. He admires her dedication so much that he thinks she should be the one demanding things of God, rather than the other way around. She can hold her head up high, she truly deserves her wings. This quality of being uncompromised, never wavering, being fully dedicated makes her automatically worthy of wings.

This is how she saved his life. She was a living example of how to become something great. Because he had her as a guiding light, Maynard did not become a hollow man. He did not fall into the Shadow. He did not live a lukewarm life. This is the bond between them. It does not matter that they were devoted to different things, that they did not agree with each other's beliefs. They are both uncompromised spirits. They are both devoted. They both rose above the herd of humanity to become true individuals, true heros.

(I say this as an outsider. The persona of the song doubts his own hero status, citing his own arrogance as a flaw, and wondering "what have I done to be worthy." His mother, too, probably doubted herself. It is through his eyes that she is a hero, and likewise through our eyes that he is a hero.)

This is what he leaned from his mother. Not belief in God, but belief in oneself. "You believed in me." She believed in him regardless of his beliefs. She believed in his ability to be a hero, to be uncompromised. Because she, an uncompromised spirit herself, believed in him, he rose to the challenge. She saved his life by showing him how to live, and believing that he could.

And now, one final point. Why on Earth would someone as private as Maynard spill his guts about such a personal manner in a seventeen minute song, to be heard by millions of strangers? This isn't like Jimmy, where the subject matter was somewhat disguised by metaphor. This is deeply personal and obvious.

The answer, I think, is twofold. Maynard has gained millions of fans for his work. His uncompromised spirit has been recognized around the world. His mother's spirit, however, was only known to a few, and perhaps only truly known to him. He wanted her to get the recognition she deserves. He decided to tell all of us about her. And what better audience is there? We all listen to him because we respect his uncompromised spirit. We're the kind of people who recognize that spirit and appreciate it. We, unlike the ignorant congregation, can really appreciate his mother's gift to him.

The second reason I think he decided to tell this personal tale so openly is that he doesn't want the gift to end with him. He wants to show us all, through the example of his mother, how to avoid the Shadow, how to "do" instead of "try," how to really live. Whatever we might chose to devote ourselves to, he wants his mother's example to inspire us to do it right. Whether it's faith in God, making music, making wine, or anything else. "Think for yourself" is a good place to start, but thinking alone won't accomplish much. To turn ideas into reality, we need the kind of uncompromized spirit depicted in this song. By sharing this experience with everyone, I think he's hoping that his mother will save some more lives, by inspiring us. If she could accomplish what she did, with the conditions she faced, what excuse do we have for wallowing in the Shadow?

(I am, of course, idealizing the "us" here.)

With this song, it seems three things are accomplished. Maynard pays tribute to his mother by letting his emotions out. He gives her the recognition she never had but deserves. And he gives to us the example that made him what he is today, in the hope that we too might achieve something great, in whatever way is personally best for us.

In a way, we ourselves are the gate. She comes to each of us through this song and challenges us. Each one of us who is inspired to create something worthwhile, to accomplish something for ourselves, to live to the fullest, is another feather in her wings. And, by doing so, we gain our own wings.

[begmetostay]

The song (the ending half) is a conversation he had with his mom or one that he wanted to have with his mom. He is only allowing us to hear it. We are not on his mind in this song. I disagree with some of the things you wrote. Some of them are not far off though. I think you generally got his message. Just my opinion of course....

[Eussiah]

I agree that this is a very personal conversation, and when he wrote the lyrics he probably was not thinking about anyone else. But once he had written it, he made a decision to let us hear it. He could have just wrote it, framed it, and lit a candle next to it. But he put it out in the open, and that's the decision I think brings the audience into the picture. I don't think the audience was on his mind during the writing, but now that it's out there, we are a part of it. Whether it was the intention or not, we now all have a view of his mother, someone who might or might not inspire us.

I think it's the same relation all Tool songs have to their audience. They are always written as private matters, and don't seem to be addressing the audience in particular. But because they are on public CDs, they invite us to share these experiences, take what we want from them, and hopefully be inspired by them. The message of 10,000 Days is the same message Tool has always advocated.

Anyway thanks for bringing that up, I should have clarified a bit.

[begmetostay]

On that we agree exactly. I think we can both agree it's also incredibly beauitful and extremely powerful. Last words to your mother might be the most powerful and honest words you will ever say. It's an honor for him to share them.