this song is obviously about....

[M.Luther]

BLAIR, I mean come on...

"you are the chosen one" - blair'ian grandeur

"I didn't even graduate fucking high school" - no parallel needs to be explained.

"you believe me, don’t you?
please believe what i just said" - blair asking for acceptance from the tool community

"This is so real
Finally it's my lucky day
See my heart is racing
Cause this shit never happens to me" - blair has obviously always been a loser.

"And invited me right in
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin" - Blair's reaction when he first went on set maybe?

"can't remember what they said to me"-i think it's obvious the mother fucker has a good hookup

"Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see" - a reference to this being the bands last album? and blair transcribing it all but he's a fuck up, per se.

[M.Luther]

this is also why blair hasnt posted an update in two months, he realized this song is making fun of him and left toolband. either that or he leaked the album using the cable jacks in the back of his head and telekinesis.

[FloydTheCat]

by george, i think he's got it!




;)





-FloydTheCat

[M.Luther]

by george, i think he's got it!




;)





-FloydTheCat

I guess it's only me and you on this one...no else will contribute.

[AlphaGeek]

I guess it's only me and you on this one...no else will contribute.
00001101000010100100100100100111011011010010000001 11010101110000011100110110010101110100001000000110 00100110010101100011011000010111010101110011011001 01001000000111100101101111011101010010000001110100 01101000011010010110111001101011001000000100100100 10000001100001011011010010000001100001001000000111 01110110000101110011011101000110010100100000011011 11011001100010000001110100011010010110110101100101 00100000001000000011101000101000

Very god postulation by the way...

[M.Luther]

i think mjk is speaking through blair in this song, then bouncing back and forth.

[OGT from back in the day]

ya that might be right, it probably is

[OGT from back in the day]

hey i dont want to get anybody mad but i want to get my level up so i might be talking to myself with these posts

[OGT from back in the day]

i would either say that this is about blair or mjk's first time getting stoned

[OGT from back in the day]

just three more posts until i get a level three, i feel like a newbie, im so low, in halo 2 i am a level 47...just incase anybody plays halo

[M.Luther]

glad my thread could make it possible for you.

[10000 eyes]

good idea, last album though? unsure

[ersatz]

Just one question - who the fuck is Blair?

[Nate-Dogg85]

Blair is that guy nobody likes, but hes always around. You kinda just keep him around to make fun of him, and hes ALWAYS there man. Everybody's got a blair in their group, oh, and if you dont, thats cuz YOU'RE THE GUY MAN!!!

[Paradigm619]

Just one question - who the fuck is Blair?

President of NAMBLA

[Nate-Dogg85]

lmao.

[jugheadsjonesin]

BLAIR, I mean come on...



who's blair?

[jugheadsjonesin]

just three more posts until i get a level three, i feel like a newbie, im so low, in halo 2 i am a level 47...just incase anybody plays halo

wow cool. "i'm so into my forum levels, I actually count how many posts to my next level and post as much as possible to get it up" - that's what you sound like.

[M.Luther]

yea thats what i was thinking too.

[remember_forget]

Hahah, people say this song is immediate compared to other Tool, but I think you've just found the hidden meaning.

[foursixandtwo]

BLAIR, I mean come on...

"you are the chosen one" - blair'ian grandeur

"I didn't even graduate fucking high school" - no parallel needs to be explained.

"you believe me, don’t you?
please believe what i just said" - blair asking for acceptance from the tool community

"This is so real
Finally it's my lucky day
See my heart is racing
Cause this shit never happens to me" - blair has obviously always been a loser.

"And invited me right in
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin" - Blair's reaction when he first went on set maybe?

"can't remember what they said to me"-i think it's obvious the mother fucker has a good hookup

"Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see" - a reference to this being the bands last album? and blair transcribing it all but he's a fuck up, per se.


Funniest (and maybe most accurate) interpretation of Rosetta Stoned..ever :)

[M.Luther]

Funniest (and maybe most accurate) interpretation of Rosetta Stoned..ever :)

I still believe this song has SOME KIND of connection to the sudden introduction of Blair. If this is the case, and this is some kind of surreal ode to Blair then this COULD be the last tool album(aside from a final live dvd/cd compelation, hopefully).
But if this isnt the end. then im wrong. only time will tell.

it is time to close the rosetta stoned forums and sticky this thread j.k

[OGT from back in the day]

ok i might count the posts until my next level but atleast i dont get a woody from thinking about my interpretation of a song like u guys do

[M.Luther]

i've drained enough seed to birth an army because of this interpretation.

[ersatz]

It sounded like Blair was some new guy Tool added to the band... I've been in Iraq for the past 8 months so I really have no fucking clue what's going on with my favorite bands. The whole "getting shot at" thing kind of distracted me.

[M.Luther]

ersatz- go to toolband.com and read the newsletters. thats blair. he's a loveable psychotic.

[Apollo's third eye]

Did Blair really shit the bed though?

[M.Luther]

quick answer: maybe
long answer: yes

[Agent_202]

Blair is that guy nobody likes, but hes always around. You kinda just keep him around to make fun of him, and hes ALWAYS there man. Everybody's got a blair in their group, oh, and if you dont, thats cuz YOU'RE THE GUY MAN!!!


omg-lmao YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MisterMudd]

Blair is that guy nobody likes, but hes always around. You kinda just keep him around to make fun of him, and hes ALWAYS there man. Everybody's got a blair in their group, oh, and if you dont, thats cuz YOU'RE THE GUY MAN!!!

Nice use of a Dane Cook-ism :-)

[OGT from back in the day]

ok at first i thought it was about blair but now i change my mind, now i think it is about a guy that found aliens and they told him to do something because he is the "chosen one" and he was gonna write it down so he could tell everybody but when he went to write it down he forgot what it was because he is an idiot

[blackandwhite]

If you're an idiot. Way to be.

[OGT from back in the day]

look at my last post, this helps explain it
"you are the chosen one"-self explanatory
"I didn't even graduate fucking high school"-self explanatory once again
"you believe me, don’t you?
please believe what i just said"-no one believes him
"This is so real
Finally it's my lucky day
See my heart is racing
Cause this shit never happens to me"-the aliens came to him
"And invited me right in
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin"-aliens once again
"can't remember what they said to me"-he cant remember what the aliens said to him
"Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see"-he tried writing it down but forgot what it was they had said to him

[larass on the kit]

welll... mj does mention shitting the bed and waking up in wonderland whic could be the sureal, so maybe it was just someone who shared a dream that they had, got real detailed with and he just fucking exaggerated a little bit made fun of them and got everyone thinking that this is the last album that the world will be through in 2010 no more tool. ima go watch them play tommrowo night so ill let you know if theyre layin down probly not because they know this was deffinetly not enough tool to satisfy a follower of every word and beat

[Get_Ya_Wicked_On]

look at my last post, this helps explain it
"you are the chosen one"-self explanatory
"I didn't even graduate fucking high school"-self explanatory once again
"you believe me, don’t you?
please believe what i just said"-no one believes him
"This is so real
Finally it's my lucky day
See my heart is racing
Cause this shit never happens to me"-the aliens came to him
"And invited me right in
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin"-aliens once again
"can't remember what they said to me"-he cant remember what the aliens said to him
"Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see"-he tried writing it down but forgot what it was they had said to him

It's funny how this guy thinks his interpretation is one that no-one else has already stated. Not to mention it's pretty obvious by reading the lyrics.

[ProfoundHaytred]

Wow I dont know what to think.

[resonance.]

This is what I thought initally, but the whole "straped down in my bed.." part doesn't really fit

[theprosperone]

I really think its about a dude that was tripping out in the desert. Blair even mentioned something about someone shitting themself and I believe another member alluded to it being about a friend of theirs freakin' out trippin' in the desert. I mean, the story goes right along with the introduction in Lost Keys, its simply the tripped out dude telling the doctor everything in on big stream of conciousness.

[Yard Man]

ok i might count the posts until my next level but atleast i dont get a woody from thinking about my interpretation of a song like u guys do

Yeah because wasting your time caring about the number of posts you have and what your level is at is WAY cooler and 1337 than actually using your fucking brain to make an interpretation of song that obviously has more meaning to it than just "a guy found aliens and they told him to do something because he is the "chosen one" and he was gonna write it down so he could tell everybody but when he went to write it down he forgot what it was because he is an idiot".

[OGT from back in the day]

It's funny how this guy thinks his interpretation is one that no-one else has already stated. Not to mention it's pretty obvious by reading the lyrics.
hey numbnuts, no one else already stated it in this forum which is why i put it here

[OGT from back in the day]

Yeah because wasting your time caring about the number of posts you have and what your level is at is WAY cooler and 1337 than actually using your fucking brain to make an interpretation of song that obviously has more meaning to it than just "a guy found aliens and they told him to do something because he is the "chosen one" and he was gonna write it down so he could tell everybody but when he went to write it down he forgot what it was because he is an idiot".
why do you think this song has more meaning to it?it might be a self explanatory song like hooker with a penis

[blackandwhite]

why do you think this song has more meaning to it?it might be a self explanatory song like hooker with a penis

You know, I don't think I've ever seen you make an interpretation of a song that wasn't copying down the lyrics an putting it in the third person omniscient narrative.

[LabRat404]

00001101000010100100100100100111011011010010000001 11010101110000011100110110010101110100001000000110 00100110010101100011011000010111010101110011011001 01001000000111100101101111011101010010000001110100 01101000011010010110111001101011001000000100100100 10000001100001011011010010000001100001001000000111 01110110000101110011011101000110010100100000011011 11011001100010000001110100011010010110110101100101 00100000001000000011101000101000

Very god postulation by the way...

Nice Avatar ;-p

edit:

P.S.

nice occupation too :-D

[euthanasia]

this song is obviously about.... eyemaware.

[Get_Ya_Wicked_On]

check up on toolband...

[foursixandtwo]

looks like this theory...is

squashed :-/

[blackandwhite]

duh duh duuuuuh

[M.Luther]

blair is just covering his ass

[OGT from back in the day]

You know, I don't think I've ever seen you make an interpretation of a song that wasn't copying down the lyrics an putting it in the third person omniscient narrative.
if u were to make an interpretation about hooker with a penis, it would probably be the same as the lyrics except in third person

[RiaN_the_Great]

this song is obviously about.... eyemaware.

Hhahahhaahha YES!!! God I miss fighting with him! Its been two years now. Jeez.

[blackandwhite]

Whatever you say O wise third-peson-omniscient narrator of lyrics!

[OGT from back in the day]

blackandwhite~then go into a hooker with a penis forum right now and give me your interpretation of that song, i gurantee u if it is a good interpretation then it will be the lyrics in third person

[RiaN_the_Great]

At face value, isn't the song about some dude who is completely fucked up (on LSD?) and ends up in the hospital (Lost Keys), and when the doctor finally gets him to tell him what's going on, he opens up, "Alright(y) then. Picture this if you will..."

The way the voice sounds seems like you're hearing what he, the speaker hears. So the guy had some crazy trip, and aliens picked him up (it happened to Bill Hicks, too) and told him the secrets (keys?) of the universe, which he lost, unable to write the information down, or even remember it.

By the end of the song, he's likely in a hospital bed. And seems he's let his bowels go, like a true champion would.

I'd laugh if this WAS about Blair. I don't like him.

[OGT from back in the day]

At face value, isn't the song about some dude who is completely fucked up (on LSD?) and ends up in the hospital (Lost Keys), and when the doctor finally gets him to tell him what's going on, he opens up, "Alright(y) then. Picture this if you will..."

The way the voice sounds seems like you're hearing what he, the speaker hears. So the guy had some crazy trip, and aliens picked him up (it happened to Bill Hicks, too) and told him the secrets (keys?) of the universe, which he lost, unable to write the information down, or even remember it.

By the end of the song, he's likely in a hospital bed. And seems he's let his bowels go, like a true champion would.

I'd laugh if this WAS about Blair. I don't like him.
thank you rian the great, finally someone else besides me thinks this is about a guy that cant remember what the aliens said to him

[blackandwhite]

Notice how Rian says "At face value" meaning taking it literally. Also, check out hooker with a penis OGT if you havent already.

[foursixandtwo]

blair is just covering his ass
lol...true dat

[RiaN_the_Great]

I vote we get together and beat the living PISS out of Blair until he learns to stop rambling and talk like a normal human being. What he fails to understand, is that if it weren't for Tool, none of us would even know his name. People from Toolarmy will reply to his posts (in the cracked out TA version of forums...don't ask) and worship him, thanking him for an update (a vague one that makes no sense) or a newsletter (a long one that could be summarized in a paragraph). And even then, they only care about him because he writes about Tool.

No one likes Blair for Blair.

[foursixandtwo]

I vote we get together and beat the living PISS out of Blair until he learns to stop rambling and talk like a normal human being. What he fails to understand, is that if it weren't for Tool, none of us would even know his name. People from Toolarmy will reply to his posts (in the cracked out TA version of forums...don't ask) and worship him, thanking him for an update (a vague one that makes no sense) or a newsletter (a long one that could be summarized in a paragraph). And even then, they only care about him because he writes about Tool.

No one likes Blair for Blair.


si si. Today was the first time I was actually able to make it through an entire newsletter in a long time. wtf. I mean I get that he must do something they like or they wouldnt keep him doing it, but why? I mean it is a Tool site, is it too much to ask that we get some relevant info now and again?

[OGT from back in the day]

blair sucks

[foursixandtwo]

blair sucks
sweet...your posts just went up one...

oh brother.

[RiaN_the_Great]

Who was it, someone put a spin on a Dane Cook joke. About how every group has one guy in it thats completely lame, and they keep him around to rip on him and have fun at his expense, and Blair is that guy. I like that theory a lot.

[M.Luther]

dont get me wrong i dont have nothing against blair, but yea he's that guy.

[Spiral Into Nothing]

Check toolband.... its not Blair, he says so himself.

[foursixandtwo]

Check toolband.... its not Blair, he says so himself.
I believe that has already been stated.

[RiaN_the_Great]

Blair is the dude who writes on the website the most.

"He who controls the past controls the future."

Oh my god, you tool, listen to Rage and realize the oppression and disinformation that is your education system. (Oh, and to demonstrate that I AM in fact kidding: lol u n00b)

[M.Luther]

i think whoever mailed blair that question read this thread.
or blair made that question up after he read this thread.
either way, best thread ever.

[M.Luther]

who would mail blair and use the word 'protaganist'
i mean what the fuck...think about it.
everyone would use 'retard,nut,loser' etc..

[LoKi]

you just hate him because he hangs out with tool and doesn't tell you every single thing about them.

i guess you're going to have to cry into your tissues hoping it's the same brand maynard uses.

[M.Luther]

i posted earlier ago that i dont have anything against blair, and i have taken the position of defending him numerous times on the forums.
but he's the guy.

[OGT from back in the day]

i dont like him because he sucks

[M.Luther]

nice observation

[spiralout11235]

So I was reading through the March newsletter out of boredom (and because I enjoyed reading it last time), and I found some interesting things regarding the protagonist of Rosetta Stoned.

After reading the news update about Blair being the subject of Rosetta Stoned, I had begun to notice some parallels. Keep in mind that the March newsletter is also the one where you run your mouse over the Answer and watch it turn into Rosetta Stoned. Here are some interesting things I noticed that might or might not have any significance.

"And then I saw Dave. At first I thought it was just a mirage, but there he was in his van with the Phish sticker, door beads, and embroidered tapestries. I recognized him by his frizzy hair, dressed in a tie-dye tee, Baja hoodie and hemp pants, with the familiar Birkenstocks..."

I know Blair said that Maynard was the subject of Rosetta Stoned, but I thought I'd throw that out there anyways. O.o Also in the Feb. Newsletter where Blair uses a Ouija Board to ask a "spirit" or whatever some questions he asks:

Q:"With regards to this same song, what does the letter "d" that you pointed to stand for?"

A: Dave.

The last line of the newsletter also caught my attention:"But I had to wonder whether or not if he ever managed to separate the true vibrations from the discords if someone would have to change him like a baby."

God damn shit the bed?

I haven't really searched for any other parallels or allusions, I wasn't intending to in the first place, I just happened to notice those things. I could just be noticing things because I have Rosetta Stoned in mind, or they could actually be allusions. Who knows. I just thought I'd throw this out there.

Also Blair says "Therefore, the identity of the person unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on your feelings about these things) enough to have the encounter as described in "Rosetta Stoned" is only known by MAYNARD JAMES KEENAN (and perhaps a few others)." I had previously read that to mean that MJK was the protagonist of Rosetta Stoned, but now I read it as saying "MJK also knows who the protagonist is." Interesting.

[M.Luther]

Blair is good at this type of thing, he is a bard and speaks in riddles.

[spiralout11235]

He's clever.

[RiaN_the_Great]

i dont like him because he sucks

HAHAHHAAHA! Word for WORD, that is EXACTLY what I was going to say to Loki. Hahahahah. Blair is like Richard Simmons cool.

[M.Luther]

without all the homoerotic undertones.

[RiaN_the_Great]

I think Blair really needs to get laid.

[M.Luther]

don't we all though??

[wags]

hey numbnuts, no one else already stated it in this forum which is why i put it here

actually there are at least 3 or 4 threads with this subject, but who's counting?

Amirite?
Amirite?
Amirite?

[M.Luther]

no, this was the original blair/rosetta stoned connection thread.

[BlanketEffect]

I think he was refering to OGT's interpretation and not yours, ML.

[bawb]

Here is a snip of a reply Blair wrote

BUT I HAVE NEVER EATEN A KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUT AT AREA 51 or anywhere else (and I don't own a pair of Birkenstock sandals, shoes, clogs or otherwise). Therefore, the identity of the person unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on your feelings about these things) enough to have the encounter as described in "Rosetta Stoned" is only known by MAYNARD JAMES KEENAN (and perhaps a few others). It was not I, although I once saw a similar type out by "Campfire Hill"? a good place to get gassed if that's your thing. Anyway, it's all about the boron.

[M.Luther]

yea i still say he knows more.

[RiaN_the_Great]

I still say he sucks.

[M.Luther]

click the link in my sig, join the club because blair is a rightgeous guy.

[OGT from back in the day]

blair has no life, he has to type these huge answers, he should get laid, he sucks

[RiaN_the_Great]

Actually, he's probably a pretty cool guy once you get to know him. I just can't ever figure out what the hell he's talking about because he rambles, and likely embeds minor little gems in his writing that are almost inconsequential, and I don't like to feel stupid.

Still...he seems pretty goofy. I think "goon" is a good word for him.

[M.Luther]

yea blairs alright, just remember people he's doing what he does on toolband- for the benefit of the readers.

[TheNothingOrchid]

Blair seems like a pretty cool dude to me.

And I enjoyed that little rant of his. As I enjoy most of his rants.

Some of them DO suck, though.

But lay off the dude.

Unless he owes you money, or fucked your girlfriend or something.

[Schwann]

Well Blair wrote on the mainpage this long winded Blair-like post saying he'd been through all kinds of crazy things up there at the base that doesn't exist, and says the only thing he's never done was eat a Krispy Kreme donut that got on his non-existant Birkenstocks...which I think is bullshit. Have you ever seen that guy? He's hip to dem Krispy Kremes probably cuz he likes donuts and probably because there's a hole in the middle...figure it out! By the way, just kidding Blair! We know its not you.

[Schwann]

Actually, he's probably a pretty cool guy once you get to know him. I just can't ever figure out what the hell he's talking about because he rambles, and likely embeds minor little gems in his writing that are almost inconsequential, and I don't like to feel stupid.

Still...he seems pretty goofy. I think "goon" is a good word for him.

Blair ain't a bad guy, just intelligent. Sometimes intelligent people are a little quirky, odd, or different because they're too smart to be "cool" like all the other moronic monkeys running around, fucking shit all up.

[RiaN_the_Great]

He probably DID fuck your girlfriends and take your money. That's probably the secret that he embeds in his posts.

[M.Luther]

if you take the first letter of every 5th word and combine them, thats the message.

[RiaN_the_Great]

About him fucking girlfriends and taking money?

[M.Luther]

i think he does have a girlfriend.

[M.Luther]

Blair ain't a bad guy, just intelligent. Sometimes intelligent people are a little quirky, odd, or different because they're too smart to be "cool" like all the other moronic monkeys running around, fucking shit all up.

yes, he is very quirky too.

[æmoeba•°·.]

Blair dismayed any recolection of portraying a cuase drawn into this song in one of the "newsletters". Is he, or was he lying? i do not know...but i can be sure that his point was only made over the whole "Krispy-Kreams" lyric through an entire page of writing.....So, M.Luther, your "bouncing back-and-fourth" theory might actually be what's happening in the song, or we also could be stretching the whole idea in the story of the "main character" brought into the song....

[BlanketEffect]

And honestly, does it matter *who* it's about? The point of the song really has nothing to do with knowing who it's about. Nor, do I think, knowing who it was about would help the listener.

You might get in your mind the notion that the song is about one thing, or one particular point of view and never hear anything else you might have gotten out of it.

Remember, even if Maynard writes a song with one specific meaning in mind, if that's not what you get out of it, then that's not what it's about. Indeed, songs are only about what they're about to the people that think of them in that way. It doesn't matter who writes it, that doesn't make that song about *that*. It only makes it about that to the writer.

Everything is about perspective, and I think that's what Tool likes to emphasize. So stop trying to strip all of the mystery out of a song and thereby limiting your view on the various new meanings that perhaps now you won't think of because now "you know" what the song is about (or at least, you think it's about what Maynard thinks it's about... assuming you're right about Maynard's meaning in the first place which you're probably not.) - and even then, it's still about everything that any listener of it has thought it was about.

I hope that made sense.

[RiaN_the_Great]

Jesus Blanket... Why don't you just piss on his parade and shit in his cheerios? =P

I still say its a funny notion that there'd be a song on the album just to poke fun at Blair, which is a pretty fruity name.

[BlanketEffect]

Just trying to keep things in the flavor of open-mindedness and that 'we are one' philosophy... can't shake it... not since Lateralus... Pissing logic and reason onto parades is just a sideline.

"Even the words of the Enlightened can become deadly paths for the too deluded. Cling not to words. Cling not to your perceptions of them. Words are afterall just words. Guides and not the goal"

[BlanketEffect]

Also, Raisin Bran > Cheerios

[M.Luther]

nah CTC owns them both, i dont get where you're going with this though.

[BlanketEffect]

Don't spend too much of your cathexis on it.

[M.Luther]

oh we will, because this is a song worth figuring out.