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dubstardramatic
11-22-2002, 07:05 PM
I may be wrong,
I may be right.....


I will choke until I swallow....
Choke this infant here before me

First, we must understand who or what the symbol of the infant
represents. In the context of the song, it is most readily interpreted as a representation of a relationship created and nurtured by two individuals. It holds a double meaning as his inner child, or his deepest, truest feelings. His desire to choke said infant implies his desire to bring this relationship to an end, but at the same time to deny his core desires and feelings. He is torn. But in the first line he "chokes until I swallow". Perhaps this means that he has repressed and pushed down his feelings about the relationship, and desires to hold onto it, to keep it as a part of who he is.

What is this but my reflection?
Who am I to judge or strike you down?

Maynard is rationalizing here. He cannot bear to destroy this part of his life because he sees it as an integral part of himself or a reflection of who he is. He questions his right to bring this to an end in the second line. The "you" holds a two-fold meaning as well. He is speaking here, not only to the relationship as a whole, but to the significant other in question. She obviously still holds deep feelings for him, and a rejection of this sort would be a harsh judgement and would hurt unbearably.

But you're pushing
and shoving me.
You still love me
and you pushit on me.

He is caught in an almost manipulative cycle woven and perpetuated by the woman in question. (Lets refer to her as X for the sake of brevity.) X seeks to control Maynard through mental and sexual manipulation. But her intentions are not to manipulate him, but to merely hold onto him. After all, she still loves him. I think this is a good place to look at the title of the song, Pushit, as this is the first place it is mentioned in the song. It seems to be a combination of the words "Push" and "Shit". When "you pushit on me" Maynard feels not only manipulated, but degraded and shat upon.

Rest your trigger on my finger
bang my head upon the faultline

Here, Maynard displays his talent at using duality in his lyrics. The trigger/finger reference is easily interpreted sexually. His touch is obviously very stimulating for X. Banging his head upon the faultline is another obvious carnal quip. (Head=penis, faultline=vagina, you get the idea....) But there is also deeper meaning. By resting her trigger upon his finger, she is placing herself in an totally trusting and helpless situation, where the slightest movement away from her could result in emotional death or injury. The faultline may also represent the division he senses between them, and the deep and dangerous chasm it has created. An interesting parallel comes into play here as we see Maynard equating sexual imagery with pain, unhappiness, and danger. This is deepened when we examine some of the implications of the word "faultline". Faultlines are created by the movement of tectonic plates in the earth's crust. Orgasms and sexual contact is often described as "earth shattering", "ground shaking" and with other similar phrases. Perhaps he is implying that the sexual contact he has with X is deepening the chasm between them, instead of bringing them closer together.

Take care not to make me enter
'cause if I do we both may disappear

Another sexual reference by Maynard. It is obvious at this point that he is trying to avoid sex with X, though he finds himself often faced with the situation. The second line reveals much about X's state of emotion and mindset about this. Maynard says that they "BOTH may disappear". X is also being damaged by the intimate contact she has with Maynard, and must be feeling this. However, she is in denial. She sees sexual bonding as a way to strengthen their relationship and holds onto that view despite the consequences of alienation she is experiencing. The entry that MJK speaks of also refers to his descent into the chasm. He knows that if he falls deep into the personal hell that they have created, she will follow him down, possibly never to return.

But you're pushing me
Shoving me. Pushit on me.

She is still trying to coerce him into sex. But she is not forcing him, merely pushing. He still wants her sexually. And slowly, she is pushing him into the chasm.

Slipping back into
the gap again
I'm alive when you're touching me
Alive when you're shoving me down.

He has failed to resist her, and has slipped, not only into her, but into the depths of the faultline. But when they're together he feels alive, complete. He justifies the long term damage with the short term masking of his true emotions. Maynard even accepts his descent into the chasm as long as he can be near her.

But I'd trade it all
for just a little
peace of mind.

This entire process has been torture to his mind and soul. He sees and understands the damage being done, and has finally made a decision to break it off. He is willing to pull the trigger and break her heart in exchange for his sanity.

Put me somewhere I don't wanna be.
Seeing someplace I don't want to see
Never wanna see that place again.

At this point, I believe that he has broken it off with X. He is resolved to stay away from the personal hell that he created with her, and to never return. But his threefold repetition of this idea
creates a sense of him trying to convince himself of this, desperately. He STILL wants X, despite all of this.

Saw that gap again today
and you were begging me to stay
Managed to push myself away
And you, as well, my dear.

X is desperate for Maynard. Her hopes for a relationship are all but gone, but she seeks solace in sex, and freely offers it to him. But for the first time, Maynard is able to resist. But by pushing himself away, he has pushed her away as well. Here we see that Maynard does not want to escape completely. He desires some sort of relationship with X, platonic though it may be.

If, when I say I might fade
like a sigh if I stay
You minimize my movement
anyway
I must persuade you another way.

On a quick personal note, I think this is the most beautiful and heartfelt peice of poetry to be found in Tool's entire repetoir. The passion, clarity and intensity of the singing emphasises his emotional expression in a way that I can barely comprehend. I have been known to shed a tear now and then at this point of the song......
He has explained himself to her. She knows exactly how he feels, and why he must do what he is doing. But she still attempts to keep him close, minimizing his movement. He now knows that his attempts at a reconcilliation and some communication have failed. He must find another means of pushing her away.

There's no love in fear

This is possibly the most important line in the song. He feels and shares fear with X concerning their relationship. He fears a return to the chasm, and she fears being without him. Any time they are together these fears collide and contrast, creating chaos. No love can shine through in this situation, even platonic love. This is the root reason for his feelings of alienation. This is his why.

Staring down the hole again
Hands upon my back again
Survival is my only friend
Terrified of what may come.

At first, it would appear that he has again returned to X. But I think the hands upon his back belong to another. He is finding solace in another, for the first time since leaving X. His only desires here are to survive this new relationship with his mind and soul intact. Because of his damaging relations with X, he cannot help but feel fear with this new woman.

Just remember I will always love you
Even as I tear your fucking throat away.
But it will end no other way.

This is his final statement to X. His goodbye. An apology of sorts, twinged with anger but also a resolution to do what is right for him. He still feels deep emotions toward X, and has clearly hurt himself by hurting her. However, his peace of mind is of greater importance, and the loss of that is a pain that he cannot bear at any price. So he has finally decided to destroy X emotionally, tearing her throat away. But he knew, all along that this was the only way it could ever end.

Kitteh
11-22-2002, 11:04 PM
Hey, I think you did a good job interpreting that song. Actually, my interpretation is almost the same as yours. Guy and girl having problems in the relationship, blah blah blah. It's all about sex and how it ruins everything if you're in a relationship.

astraes9
11-23-2002, 09:51 AM
Originally posted by Kitteh
Hey, I think you did a good job interpreting that song. Actually, my interpretation is almost the same as yours. Guy and girl having problems in the relationship, blah blah blah. It's all about sex and how it ruins everything if you're in a relationship. I really loved your detailed analysis but I never even looked at it that way. I saw it as addiction and overcoming it and how when people overcome one addiction they improvise by becoming addicted to something else.

RandomJohnson
11-24-2002, 10:09 AM
great analysis. I always thought of it the same way pretty much. I usually kept two meanings for the song on a personal level - one was the "Saw that gap again today/ and you were begging me to stay/ Managed to push myself away/ And you, as well, my dear" always translated to me on a more general level, as whenever there is an opening, not necesarily sexual, that even with someone wanting to keep you close, there's that gap to get away, push away, and in doing so, both are pushed away. But then the song meant even more when I began thinking of it how dubstardramatic analyzed it - thanks to my last relationship i saw how pushit really connected more on that type of level, not necesarily the general concept I had thought before.

Mark D
12-16-2002, 12:53 PM
Wow, these post have really got me thinking. I think that there is a good chance that Pushit is about a relationship. I think it deals with how both partners have to make decisions about certain obtacles and how they have to live with the outcome.

ted
12-29-2002, 11:11 AM
wow that was a good read. I really related to it as well. I really had no clue what the lyrics meant because i have been focused on the music for so long and im just now begining to search for the meanings in the words.

A53DON3
01-08-2003, 03:22 AM
Originally posted by dubstardramatic
I may be wrong,
I may be right.....


I think your right...Thanks to tool for putting my feelings into word and sound...and thank you dubstar for interpating those lyrics the way ive always felt them...and still do...i just have to push my self and myself away...she knows this as well as i do...
ive always tried to understand what the lyrics meant to the song writer...the parent/child theory comes to mind as well as the addiction metaphor...though the one that best suits me and my life is almost entirely relative to dub's...dub said it all for me...

SmileyGladhands
01-10-2003, 07:55 PM
Originally posted by dubstardramatic
If, when I say I might fade
like a sigh if I stay
You minimize my movement
anyway
I must persuade you another way.

On a quick personal note, I think this is the most beautiful and heartfelt peice of poetry to be found in Tool's entire repetoir. The passion, clarity and intensity of the singing emphasises his emotional expression in a way that I can barely comprehend. I have been known to shed a tear now and then at this point of the song......

I won't dispute any of your interpretations, they all make sense and if that's how you relate to the song then great. I am new on this site and I have to say that everyones interpretations are very intriguing, and I'm going to keep a few of your ideas in mind for future listens.

I just wanted to agree with you on this point. I have always had my favorite parts in songs over the years, or the best line or verse that an artist ever came up with. But I have to say, that when I heard this I was completely blown away. I get chills when I hear it, every single time. I even rewind every now and then to experience it again. The absolute greatest piece of music I have ever heard, bar none. I've only seen Tool live 3 times, but I was lucky enough my second show to have heard Pushit. Sure, Salival was great, but being there to hear it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. That and hearing 3rd Eye in the same show, I don't think I will ever again have a moment like that where I cared about nothing else in this eff'ed up world but what I was seeing and hearing.