NEW ALBUM REVIEW!!!

[moneyisevil]

The TOOL Story Marches On

From Andy King, TotalRock… New Album playback at 10, Golborne Road, London W10 -
February 20th 2006... 4pm and 7.30pm

There is something delightfully Toolian about staging a series of European album
press/radio playback and ‘meet-the-new-Record-Company’ dates whilst not only not
revealing the name of said new album but also keeping all the track titles
themselves firmly under wraps.

For your roving Tool reporter, this presents two particular difficulties –
firstly it makes accurate reviewing a task almost as hazardous as Quail shooting
whilst under the influence (perish the thought that anyone could even
contemplate such foolishness) and secondly it prompts momentary, and forgivable,
cynicism along the lines of ‘They’re ‘avin’ a larff! This is just an elaborate,
fake decoy album!’. Oh shit, there I go with those hunting expressions again.

Today (and I use the word entirely accurately - as my Tool obsession squirts
into me such blind courage as to prompt me to lurk, contrary to Record Company
wishes, in the shadows for 90 minutes - so as to catch both the 4pm and 7.30pm
playbacks) - today, the Record Company has displayed a remarkable degree of
Tool-savvy by booking an unheard of pub-for-bohemians in West London’s debatably
fashionable and trendy (or downright dangerous – unless, like me, you have at
least two layers of hoodies on top of your baseball hat) W10 area. 10, Golbourne
Road is at the foot of one of London’s once most notorious and scary tower
blocks – Erno Goldfinger’s (not to mention The Clash’s) Trellick Tower – now
perversely, and miraculously, transmogrified into one of the City’s most
desirable residences. It sez ‘ere.

It’s a joy – in this day and age and with such a multi-million selling global
mega-band (yes, it really is true, fans!) – to immediately bump into ¾ of the
band casually swigging beer from bottles (or, somewhat surprisingly, Starbucks
from a paper cup in Maynard’s case) and chatting amiably with the assembled
mid-afternoon gathering of hacks. It’s always a joy to meet a man so much ‘his
own man’ and Maynard, as usual, manages to take such an expression to dizzy new
heights. As inscrutable as the bastard offspring of Chairman Mao and Wallace &
Gromit’s Were Rabbit (slightly caught in the headlights of my immediate and
presumptuous ‘hail fellow well met’ self-introduction) Maynard professes to
‘feeling a little jet-lagged’ and at once hops off to safer environs. Meanwhile
big haired Danny and Justin look, for all the world, like a brace of goddamn
hippies from the Bong Shop down the road. As has been revealed – Adam has
remained in LA ‘directing the video’.

After a 30 minute delay in proceedings – caused by a tardy and self-important
bunch of hacks creeping out of some rank corner of the evil EMAP Empire (they’re
all Borgs, we suspect) the Anonymous Playback of The Nameless Songs commences…
‘probably nearly in their Final Running Order’, we are told. Readers will,
hopefully, forgive any inaccuracies in reportage. On first listen I surmised
this was an 9 track album, managing to squeeze this figure up to 10 on second
hearing, whilst having confirmation from the band that it was, in fact an 11
track album. (They thought).

Queens Of The Stone Age, The Melvins, Turbonegro, Satyricon, Weezer and Hole.
Hmmm... Joe Baresi’s CV might not be an immediate one to catch the attention
whilst puzzling over a new Producer for a band such as our heroes. But then,
Tool never have been noted for the obvious, the easier, softer way. The band
dynamic IS different on this work. But it’s a challenging difference – perhaps
no great surprise for a band which often borders on the recalcitrant. As might
have been expected from a ‘guitar-oriented’ knob twiddler– the guitars are very
much to the fore. Perhaps more so than on any work since Opiate. And there are
other notables – but more of those later. What we have here with The Album With
No Name (rather a good title, boys… why not go for it? Surely it’s not too
late?) is yet another milestone in the journey of one of the most innovative of
rock bands of the last 30 years. It’s a Rollercoaster. It’s difficult (‘Hurrah!’
I hear you yell!). It’s at points dense, frustrating and impenetrable
(‘Wahaay!’). On occasion it provides the band’s most commercial work to date. At
worst, it heavily borrows hooks and snippets from, mainly, the Lateralus album.
At best, it’s soaring and stunning and staggering – an exercise in aural, no
sensory, exploration. In short, it’s the new Tool album and it’s f@!# great…

Track 1 (7min 3sec). Mesmeric start. Hypnotic beat. Jagged, angular off beats.
Familiar trancey passages punctuated by a guitar part reminiscent of an older
Tool track. Tribal drum beats f@!# with a lovely melody and climax with
Maynard’s vocals. I am going to cry.

Track 2 (7min 12sec) Melodic intro with almost balladic vocals from Maynard.
Lighter feel (almost, dare I say it, APC-tinged) but not for long. Danny gets
stronger – Baresi releases our tubthumper and the feel gets much heavier into
‘chugga chugga’ off beats. Then – here’s some unusual guitar work. Man, it’s
almost Hendix-like! Then back into a heavy tribal groove. I fight off the urge
to masturbate furiously.

Track 3/4 (This is either one 17 minute monster or two tracks – of 6min 20sec
and 10min 26sec – only the Gods Of The Stinfist know the answer). Whichever it
is – DO NOT SMOKE THE WEED WHILST LISTENING TO IT! Starting with Buddhist
temple-flavoured gong tweaking the collective nipples of Kraftwerk, a deep
sphincter-rumbling bass and om chanting might recall ‘Parabol’. After 3 minutes
of this nerve-wracking niceness, all Hell breaks loose with mega-heavy riffdom
before slipping back into spaciness after 30 seconds. Like an epileptic
convulsion in a night of deep sleep. Hawkwind does Greensleeves whilst Pink
Floys look on. The Record Company people are starting to look nervous and
uncomfortable as if they have seldom HEARD anything so strange and worrying.
What the f@!# is this? Let me outta here! I need to go snuggle the Radio One
Playlist! Suddenly it’s a crazed sea shanty for whacked-out space travelers.
‘You’re the only one who can hold your head up high. It’s my time now… my time
now… give me my… give me my…’ duets Maynard with himself. Danny fights free of
the evil clutches of Dr Baresi and goes off on one. Adam’s guitar recalls
something off Lateralus again. It’s Triad, I think, but it’s almost impossible
to identify one riff whilst another song goes on. The musical equivalent of
rubbing one’s head and tummy simultaneously in different directions. They’re
doing this on purpose to f@!# with our heads. Bastards! Returns to full-on
rhythmic Toolishness to end. No it isn’t the end. It doesn’t end like any other
song ends. Tool never ends. I’m losing it. Therap me now, please.

Track 5 (Probably. 6min 11 sec definitely). Oooooooh. This is THE one. Ya know
what, pluggers? Radio might even go for this! Maynard’s vocals at the start are
quite extraordinary. Place equal parts of Chris De Burgh, Tiny Tim and Bilal The
Muezzin in a blender and run for your life. Easily the most commercial track to
date. In fact, easily the most commercial track Tool have EVER done. That guitar
is waaay strong again. Did Adam bribe Baresi? This is still twisted. It’s hard
but commercial. The end spells a relief as climactic as a boil bursting. I go
‘Yessssss’ and the whole room of cool jouros looks round at me as if I’m a
Bateman cartoon ‘The Man Who Ordered A Pork Sandwich In Blooms’. This is a
SERIOUSLY awesome track. Just you mark my words.

Track 6 (1min). In which Maynard becomes a Native American for no good reason.
Strange, but we like a bit of strangeness.

[moneyisevil]

Track 7 (Maybe. Could be two medium length tracks and a terribly short one, too.
I’m now losing the will to live with the stopwatch. It’s 14min 45sec of music,
whatever). Guitars to the fore again. One long note with almost blues-like,
overlaid note progressions. f@!# me, it’s House Of The Rising Sun cut with
Ketamine. There are unsettling whispers and talking. Is this a bad trip or a
psychiatry session? Come to think of it, is there a difference? ‘How Are You
Today?’… ‘Tell Me Everything’ then THWACK! Into such a breathtakingly slappy,
powerful riff kick that I’m actually physically winded for a nanosecond.
Demonic, growling, rap noise over rhythmic heavy heavy groove. Forget the Were
Rabbit jibe. This is a f@!# full-on, nasty, shaven headed WEREWOLF. A lightbulb
goes mental in the room. The Record Company almost lose all cool and run for it.
I damn nearly join them but now I AM crying. I am gulping back wracking sobs at
the sheer Toolishness of this monstrous, magnificent track. This is the real
deal. Again snippets from Lateralus. You ARE playing with us. You ARE! This is
Tool’s equivalent of ‘spot the Hitchcock in the Hitchcock film’! But I don’t
care. It’s like The Best Of Tool in one song. The Bomb. It ends like the violent
end of a violent life. And then it ends again. Unless that’s another track, of
course….

Track 8 (6min 44sec). Odd noises. Sea shore meets ironworks. Ever see the
cartoon meisterwerk ‘Spirited Away’? You MUST! In it there is a character called
Kamajii The Boiler Keeper who has 6 arms and an army of small black coals. This
sound is similar. Soon joined by elastic bass and drum twangling over
multi-layered Maynard whisperings and chanted vox. Shades of Pink Floyd again.
Shades of the more ‘moody’ Lateralus tracks again. Reflection. Disposition.
Tribal and hypnotic.

Track 9 (9min 04sec. I think). Melodic, slow, hypnotic. Almost balladic. Wall of
Sound build-up. Danny does some Bamboo pole-type drumming into big rif***e. Big,
big sound. Tool at their weightiest. It’s almost Chinese at the end. I can think
of worse things to be like. Perhaps the boys have their eyes on the World’s
fastest developing market?

Track 10 (OK it’s 11 but I’m f@!# if I can work out how we got here). The walk
out track (their description not mine). Oddness. The Noodles of Satan.

And that’s it. First playback and Maynard bids us farewell. ‘Hope you enjoyed
it. If you didn’t we could put on a little Green Day for you?’. Second playback
and Justin apologises for not being The Arctic Monkeys. We smoodge and chatter.
We remember that Danny is actually the World’s nicest (and tallest) man. If only
I could feel as comfy in my skin as he does. That’s it – go on, compare my
insides with his outsides. We rejoice in the fact that ¼ of Tool is, in fact,
English. We clamber onto our pushbike past legions of hoodies whilst the Tool
Carnival ups and offs to Amsterdam. f@!# knows where THAT playback will take
place but I have a shrewd idea or two…



---------

†his was sent to me by someone who knows the DJ that wrote this. Discuss. I think its pretty legit.

[moneyisevil]

oh and we got some lyrics...You’re the only one who can hold your head up high. It’s my time now… my time now… give me my… give me my…’ wooo hooo

[moneyisevil]

did u even read it

[fearxile]

people have to much time on their hands

[Blair Jr]

oh and we got some lyrics...You’re the only one who can hold your head up high. It’s my time now… my time now… give me my… give me my…’ wooo hooo


sounds like a HHH interview

[Lackymacky]

YAY

[SpiralOutKeepGoing]

did u even read it

I did.

[moneyisevil]

HHH? as in WWE HHH? LOL

[mike tyson]

LINK?

[moneyisevil]

i dont have a link, it was emailed to me, i can ask the guy who emailed it for me for a link

[Goldfoot]

I like how there are no names.

[moneyisevil]

according to whoever wrote this Tool wouldnt release the album name or its tracks during both listening sessions

[SpiralOutKeepGoing]

HHH? as in WWE HHH? LOL

Yes. 'The Game HHH'.

[SpiralOutKeepGoing]

according to whoever wrote this Tool wouldnt release the album name or its tracks during both listening sessions

Maybe the CD is called ( ) and the tracks have no names...Oh wait...

[orange.juice]

this sounds fucking good! and quite legit. Either that, or someone has a sparkling imagination.

sn: why got tdn down? overload?

[Ryan]

don't you think it'd be best to deem everything as crap until blair gets off his drunk ass and confirms it all? this pause is obviously just occurring to stir us up.

[orange.juice]

who is this guy that emailed it to you?

[mike tyson]

i'm skeptical

[mike tyson]

i say fake

[moneyisevil]

i mean of course i took this with a grain of salt, but there is wayyy to much detail in here\, this must of took the dude a long time...if it is fake then the guy has a great imagination...i mean he must have made up the whole meeting the band, record execs, and everyhting else up.....i mean this IS pretty detailed

edit: plus he even added some lyrics, and the length of the songs seem pretty similar to what blair said...17 minute and 10 minute long songs..plus a segue...

also yeah what the fuck is up with tdn

[Goldfoot]

sn: why got tdn down? overload?

Had to be. 9,965 views to the one thread in a day. That's almost half the view of the "What We Know" thread.

[Bogart]

fake

[KILL_CLOWNS]

So we know that either this one or the "new tracklist" are fake. LK was supposed to be the monster track, and according to the New Tracklist thread it is the last track, but according to this tracks 3/4 sound more like LK and the last track sounds like a die eier von satan sequel.

I'd say the Track list was fake, and the faker of this review just went along with that.

[orange.juice]

i think his writing style is quite good for an i-wanna-be-first review. He knows what he´s doing.

[Goldfoot]

LK was supposed to be the monster track, and according to the New Tracklist thread it is the last track, but according to this tracks 3/4 sound more like LK

According to Blair, I mean the Obseilong or whatever, L.K. was renamed and from the "new" tracklisting it would be number 6. Either way it's not 3/4 so the review doesn't go with the list.

[moneyisevil]

apparently this was written by a DJ who was invited to the Europe Promo Tour

[moneyisevil]

also, didnt someone admit they made up the tracklisting? check pg 9

[Goldfoot]

They won't prove it so I assume they lied.

[Ocelot199]

Why'd you post this in two seperate threads?

And I'm gonna go along and say this is probably legit. Too bad it reveals next to nothing :/

[moneyisevil]

the text was tooooo big to post in one, i could have probably just posted it right after part one but i was dumb and posted it as two seperate threads

[TenSpeed]

Realest rumor yet.

[just simulacra]

definitely the most believable.
kudos to whoever wrote it, for whatever reason they wrote it.

[Goldfoot]

Maybe the CD is called ( ) and the tracks have no names...Oh wait...

And maybe they're from Iceland.

[just simulacra]

http://www.totalrock.com/img/djs/andyking_sml.jpg
Looks like the author.

[mike09]

The description of these songs are fucking rediculous. Obviously a fake. Bin.

[moneyisevil]

The TOOL Story Marches On


There is something delightfully Toolian about staging a series of European album
press/radio playback and ‘meet-the-new-Record-Company’ dates whilst not only not
revealing the name of said new album but also keeping all the track titles
themselves firmly under wraps.



Tell me this doesnt sound like something tool would do

[Goldfoot]

who is this guy that emailed it to you?

Yeah, was it just some random dude that was there? If so why hasn't anything else been found about this listening party?

[KILL_CLOWNS]

According to Blair, I mean the Obseilong or whatever, L.K. was renamed and from the "new" tracklisting it would be number 6. Either way it's not 3/4 so the review doesn't go with the list.

Well according to this review track 6 is only 1 minute long.

[Ocelot199]

I'm looking around google for Andy King and Total Rock. Nothing like this is on the Total Rock's website or myspace, and I can't find this article anywhere but here at TDN...

[Goldfoot]

I'm looking around google for Andy King and Total Rock. Nothing like this is on the Total Rock's website or myspace, and I can't find this article anywhere but here at TDN...

He said it was emailed to him.

[just simulacra]

I'm looking around google for Andy King and Total Rock. Nothing like this is on the Total Rock's website or myspace, and I can't find this article anywhere but here at TDN...

Andy King is a DJ for Total Rock.
http://www.totalrock.com/djs.php
First yahoo link.
I guess you should stop using google.

[moneyisevil]

Yeah, was it just some random dude that was there? If so why hasn't anything else been found about this listening party?
look at the time and date, this just happened..UK is 6 hours ahead of the US and it was posted a few hours ago

I got this email from a guy who back in november claimed to know info about the dvds, saying that he worked in the industry as an intern or something and that he wanted me to post some info regarding the new dvds because he couldnt get a TDN account for some reason.

So tonite, he IM'ed me asking me if i would post this review he found on some website that i needed to register to get into. I was too lazy to register, so i asked him to just copy and paste the info and send it to me via email. Apparenlty this was written by a DJ.

I'll try to get a link tomorrow when i talk to him again.

[bluefire]

Man if this isn't true, thats fucking mean to dick with my emotions like that. I thought I remembered an update by blair about tool ringtones for the single, with maynard wanting all 11-odd minutes for the ringtone.

[KILL_CLOWNS]

Tell me this doesnt sound like something tool would do

It also sounds like something some asshole would do to cover up the fact that his review is fake and doesn't know the track names or album title. So by it seeming its something that Tool would do its really helping him make his shitty review sound more legit.

[svet-am]

here's a link to profile page for the guy who is credited at the top as having written the review:

http://www.ecademy.com/account.php?id=70825

[Sleep]

Sounds okay if this is for real but the constant "sounds like Lateralus" sucks. Lateralus was nothing like Aenima and that was good. I was hoping this album would again be something completely different.

[moneyisevil]

as far as credibility, i guess the dj is part of TotalRock so we can all bombard him with emails asking if this is real

apparently this DJ posted it on the toal rock forum which i was too lazy to register for

[just simulacra]

as far as credibility, i guess the dj is part of TotalRock so we can all bombard him with emails asking if this is real

already done.

let's see when he replies ...

[l David l]

if it is fake, someone has wayyyyyyyy too much time on their hands. its very well written i guess. i dont really think a review can tell us what it will sound like when its finally released, but will only get us excited.

[mike09]

I'm sorry, but that was a very poorly written review. If you read it again, you'll notice he actually doesn't go into that much detail about the songs at all. The track lengths could have been made up by anyone. This sounds like complete bullshit. Either that, or the writer is absolutely horrible at the english language.

[orange.juice]

nvm..

lol at his profile: "I like setting things up, getting balls rolling. I like having ideas bounced off me and bouncing them off others. I actually rather like people!"

[moneyisevil]

im gonna join the forum and see what I personally come up with

[rimb]

So, he had the stopwatch on all the tracks then?

Right.....

[just simulacra]

I'm sorry, but that was a very poorly written review. If you read it again, you'll notice he actually doesn't go into that much detail about the songs at all. The track lengths could have been made up by anyone. This sounds like complete bullshit. Either that, or the writer is absolutely horrible at the english language.

He's a DJ.
I'm not expecting much.
Especially considering the situation.

I KNEW the writing style seemed annoyingly familiar ... so I did a TDN search ...
Read andy king's PRE-REVIEW of lateralus here:

http://toolshed.down.net/articles/index.php?action=view-article&id=April_2001--Totalrock.com.html
[He even uses NOODLY again, as an adjective.]

Yeah, I remember reading that garbage back in 2001 while I was drooling over every news nugget thrown my way.

Sorry, or, well, whatever .... but this seems like the real deal.

[rimb]

I'm sorry, but that was a very poorly written review. If you read it again, you'll notice he actually doesn't go into that much detail about the songs at all. The track lengths could have been made up by anyone. This sounds like complete bullshit. Either that, or the writer is absolutely horrible at the english language.

Remember, he is a DJ....

[Hodge]

why is a stop watch not believable?

[svet-am]

Remember, he is a DJ....

No, he's not actually. If you look at my last post in the PART ONE thread, you'll see that I linked to his professional profile. Officially, he's the Director of Marketing and Sales for TotalRock in London.

[just simulacra]

He's a DJ also. Sundays at 9PM.

Later.

[moneyisevil]

okay, apparently this was really written by a TOTAL ROCK DJ....it was posted by a DJ who works for the Station...don't believe me? Sign up and find out urself

[Hodge]

I KNEW the writing style seemed annoyingly familiar ... so I did a TDN search ...
Read andy king's PRE-REVIEW of lateralus here:

http://toolshed.down.net/articles/index.php?action=view-article&id=April_2001--Totalrock.com.html
[He even uses NOODLY again, as an adjective.]

.

good find bro, i loved reading these reviews

i can't wait till the new ones pour in

[just simulacra]

Thanks for the post, BTW.

[moneyisevil]

heres the link if u bother signing up

http://forums.totalrock.com/viewtopic.php?t=4368&highlight=tool

[mike09]

He's a DJ.
I'm not expecting much.
Especially considering the situation.

I KNEW the writing style seemed annoyingly familiar ... so I did a TDN search ...
Read andy king's PRE-REVIEW of lateralus here:

http://toolshed.down.net/articles/index.php?action=view-article&id=April_2001--Totalrock.com.html
[He even uses NOODLY again, as an adjective.]

Yeah, I remember reading that garbage back in 2001 while I was drooling over every news nugget thrown my way.

Sorry, or, well, whatever .... but this seems like the real deal.

True, you have a point there. He's not a very good writer either way. This review could be his. It makes me interested in the album, which is always good.

[hanger25934]

this sounds totally legit thus far. fixing to read the other thread

[Sleep]

The writing style is similar to the Lateralus review he did though this one seems more rushed which you could credit to just scribbling down notes as the songs played.

In any case this is the most believable thing we've had yet.

[mike tyson]

ohhh.. another forum.. not that credible

[Thermopyle]

okay, apparently this was really written by a TOTAL ROCK DJ....it was posted by a DJ who works for the Station...don't believe me? Sign up and find out urself

KUDOS! Being too lazy to sign up so I trust you.

[mike09]

The writing style is similar to the Lateralus review he did though this one seems more rushed which you could credit to just scribbling down notes as the songs played.

In any case this is the most believable thing we've had yet.

Yeah, it reads like fastly copied down notes.

[moneyisevil]

i guess i have no choice but to believe this...i did all the tracking and it links back to a post done by the DJ Himself who actually works for a REAL Radiostation...meaning if this is fake he would probably get in tons of shit

[moneyisevil]

ohhh.. another forum.. not that credible
tyson, its posted by the Actual DJ...you know how people have titles to prove they are a part of TDN...like Discussion MOd..TDN supporter...well this guy is the actual DJ of an actual Radio Station called TOTAL ROCK....like i said if u dont believe me sign up and find out for yourself...this is legit

http://forums.totalrock.com/viewtopic.php?t=4368&highlight=tool

[Underalus]

I think it's real, and I'm goddamn MAD excited.

[just simulacra]

On the other forum, fellow DJ's seem to have been anticipating this album preview, and Andy King's participation in it.

Seems legit.
Legit, legit, legit.

[Serex]

my honest opinion..... i think blair wrote it, it shows signs of his writing, i call b/s, but it is very detailed so who knows

[just simulacra]

my honest opinion..... i think blair wrote it, it shows signs of his writing, i call b/s, but it is very detailed so who knows

lol, blair might just challenge you to a duel for that insult.

[Goldfoot]

tyson, its posted by the Actual DJ...you know how people have titles to prove they are a part of TDN...like Discussion MOd..TDN supporter...well this guy is the actual DJ of an actual Radio Station called TOTAL ROCK....like i said if u dont believe me sign up and find out for yourself...this is legit

http://forums.totalrock.com/viewtopic.php?t=4368&highlight=tool

So why did he email you and noone else can find anything like this?

[mike09]

my honest opinion..... i think blair wrote it, it shows signs of his writing, i call b/s, but it is very detailed so who knows

Actually, it reads almost nothing like something Blair would write.

[Sleep]

I signed up and checked it out myself. The DJ himself made a topic saying he was going to be reviewing the album shortly then posted the review.

I'm pretty sure it's legit.

[just simulacra]

So why did he email you and noone else can find anything like this?

Did you even bother checking out the Links he provided?

=\

[Ocelot199]

Andy King is a DJ for Total Rock.
http://www.totalrock.com/djs.php
First yahoo link.
I guess you should stop using google.
I know, I was saying that I found that website and didn't find anything there about this article. Apparently it was posted in the forum there, or something... Too lazy to sign up for it.

And google > yahoo. Don't be retarded.

[bluefire]

this sounds totally legit thus far. fixing to read the other thread

who the fuck says "fixing to"?

This seems really legit.

[moneyisevil]

for the non-believers...read this

http://toolshed.down.net/articles/index.php?action=view-article&id=April_2001--Totalrock.com.html

this is another article the same DJ wrote pertaining to Lateralus...as he got to hear it weeks before anyone else did...the style of writing is the same...everything is the same

this only confirms that this is INDEED LEGIT

[bluefire]

go here http://forums.totalrock.com/memberlist.php?sid=a10b1bd95d44711855672b79e223ef4 2

signing up takes literally 3 seconds.

it looks legit.

[lachrymotion]

Adam's sound being compared to Hendrix...

pardon me for a second while I call bullshit

[just simulacra]

for the non-believers...read this

http://toolshed.down.net/articles/index.php?action=view-article&id=April_2001--Totalrock.com.html

this is another article the same DJ wrote pertaining to Lateralus...as he got to hear it weeks before anyone else did...the style of writing is the same...everything is the same

this only confirms that this is INDEED LEGIT

Cough.

[moneyisevil]

seriously, read this http://toolshed.down.net/articles/index.php?action=view-article&id=April_2001--Totalrock.com.html

edit:

AND YES JUST SIGN UP FOR THE TOTAL ROCK FORUM..IT LITERALLY TAKES 3 SECONDS...I CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT AT FIRST

[Goldfoot]

Did you even bother checking out the Links he provided?

=\

I got lost in all these threads actually. I just read his response to my question in the other thread and I understand better now.

[Ertai]

its sounds sooo really... even the except about maynard making fun of greenday...etc...

this is believable... the other track listing isnt...

[moneyisevil]

all i have to say is that this guy was right about lateralus, why would he not be right about this one?

[Ocelot199]

go here http://forums.totalrock.com/memberlist.php?sid=a10b1bd95d44711855672b79e223ef4 2

signing up takes literally 3 seconds.

it looks legit.
Where is this posted? Theres about a thousand subforums here.

[bluefire]

go to the search feature, type in maynard

[Hodge]

http://forums.totalrock.com/viewtopic.php?t=4368

[Hannibal]

I just signed up....

I really don't know what to think. You make good points about the validity...but I don't like the "snippets of Lateralus" he keeps referring to. Though on his last review, he mentioned "undertowish" elements, that upon listening I didn't even catch.

I hope Blair posts something on the page soon, this is getting too crazy.

[Ocelot199]

Ok, thanks.

Its in the Scary Genre Schizo Show, for anyone who cares to look. Looks legit.

[Hodge]

Track 6 (1min). In which Maynard becomes a Native American for no good reason. Strange, but we like a bit of strangeness.

lol

[rimb]

Adam's sound being compared to Hendrix...

pardon me for a second while I call bullshit

He's a very excited DJ, not a guy with a guitar as his avatar....

[bluefire]

I think the only real telling thing about that is the description of the single, which sounds fucking nasty.

He doesn't have much to say other than "wow" and "trippy".

[hanger25934]

who the fuck says "fixing to"?



who the fuck cares? besides your angry/stupid ass

[moneyisevil]

honestly, the only reason why i now deffinatley believe it is because of this

http://toolshed.down.net/articles/index.php?action=view-article&id=April_2001--Totalrock.com.html

so yeah....new TOOL album...11 tracks...woohooo

[bluefire]

i'm not angry, just messing with you.

[Hodge]

so much hostility on these boards

we finally get something legit, lighten up guys

circle jerk?

[hanger25934]

thank you moneyisevil. you get bonus points.

[Light Reflections]

I think the only real telling thing about that is the description of the single, which sounds fucking nasty.

He doesn't have much to say other than "wow" and "trippy".
True, but it's sure boosted my excitement level for the new album.

[svet-am]

beyond wanting to confirm that it's real, i am scared by the description of any tool song (or album) as 'commercial' of course, i wish them all kinds of success in selling albums and supporting themselves, but the word 'commercial' and 'radio friendly' generally conotates to 'they've sold out'

[hanger25934]

lets start a peace movement on TDN! lol

[bluefire]

True, but it's sure boosted my excitement level for the new album.
Oh mine, too.

[hanger25934]

i'm not angry, just messing with you.
understood. no problem

[bluefire]

beyond wanting to confirm that it's real, i am scared by the description of any tool song (or album) as 'commercial' of course, i wish them all kinds of success in selling albums and supporting themselves, but the word 'commercial' and 'radio friendly' generally conotates to 'they've sold out'

Yeah, true. But then again I always thought parabola sounded pretty radio friendly, too.

[moneyisevil]

this DJ knew facts about Lateralus a month before it came out...he wrote a pretty messy review but it was all true...i thing the same applies here...if u exam his first review of lateralus he uses the same lingo/words/description as he does for the new album!!!

[TurdEye13]

circle jerk?

Not tonight

[Ocelot199]

Interesting that this is still something like 2 and a half months before the expected release date, and his lateralus review was only a month. Hmmmmmmmm?

Maybe Tool's April Fool's joke this year will be releasing the album a month ahead of schedule, and then nobody beleives it and feels really stupid when they realize it is the actual album being released.

Man, that'd rule.

[svet-am]

this DJ knew facts about Lateralus a month before it came out...he wrote a pretty messy review but it was all true...i thing the same applies here...if u exam his first review of lateralus he uses the same lingo/words/description as he does for the new album!!!

the more i've looked into it, the more i'm inclined to believe that this review is legit, even if messy. now i'm excited to read more of the reviews as they come out and begin to piece things together.

[hanger25934]

i've always takin "commercial" sounding as meaning its catchy. kind of like sober or even stinkfist

[waffel]

I fight off the urge to masturbate furiously.

I had a feeling, but its obvious now. The person that wrote this is IN FACT from this forum, and is IN FACT in the Masturbation Deprivation contest. At the time of this writing, the person is STILL IN THE CONTEST.

Hmm......... HMMM......

[moneyisevil]

this review was hard as fuck to find...

[svet-am]

i've always takin "commercial" sounding as meaning its catchy. kind of like sober or even stinkfist

the word 'commercial' has a *specific* meaning in the radio/music industry -- it means that the song/record has widespread and mainstream appeal enough to sell lots of copies (and hence make lots of money).

[mattw]

All I will say is this:

moneyisevil: well done!!!

Actually, I'll say a bit more. I never doubted the validity of the article being written by Andy King because only recently did I read HIS article about Lateralus, which has been listed above etc.

I'm very excited having read that now, having copied and pasted all of the article into a nice little package in word.

Very glad to hear things about the songs being heavy & complex. This all just adds to my anticipation...

Again, well done on providing such info.

[KJM]

the greenday comment did sound like maynard. haha. either way it was funny.

[moneyisevil]

its getting closer....and yeah ive reread this review 3x atleast trying to grasp the whole thing....a new album!!!!!!! this sounds so fucken sick!!!

[Hodge]

haha me too

hopefully we'll get some more reviews from the London people come sunrise

[moneyisevil]

also the "shades of hendrix" and "shades of pink floyd" have me reallllllly excited!!!! think about the tour!!! think about the album!!! happy happy joy joy

[Thermopyle]

Interesting that this is still something like 2 and a half months before the expected release date, and his lateralus review was only a month. Hmmmmmmmm?

Maybe Tool's April Fool's joke this year will be releasing the album a month ahead of schedule, and then nobody beleives it and feels really stupid when they realize it is the actual album being released.

Man, that'd rule.


haha! U wish!

I am now convinced that the review is real. And unlike the Andy King-guy, I wont and cant stop myself from masturbate furiously!

[TurdEye13]

I don't know what to believe anymore after this. I want to believe it because it looks so legit, but then again I don't wanna fall for some idiot messing around with me.

[svet-am]

as I type this, it's ~6:00am London time (I'm on CST). Now, I can go to bed, dream happily, and wake up and hopefully find TOOL news on the web :-)

[slamminsalmon]

my honest opinion..... i think blair wrote it, it shows signs of his writing, i call b/s, but it is very detailed so who knows

you think blair wrote it?
this is more informative than the last 4 newsletters

[moneyisevil]

don't worry...this is deffinatley legit...me and ocelot have checked this out and its 100% legit

like i said compare it to his other review

http://toolshed.down.net/articles/index.php?action=view-article&id=April_2001--Totalrock.com.html

and check out his webpage and what not

[waffel]

100% legit and THE BEST POST concerning the new album ever. Nice work moneyisevil, you are the man.

[SpiralOutKeepGoing]

don't worry...this is deffinatley legit...me and ocelot have checked this out and its 100% legit

like i said compare it to his other review

http://toolshed.down.net/articles/index.php?action=view-article&id=April_2001--Totalrock.com.html

and check out his webpage and what not

I love his use of the word tool-ish. Its crazy but hell it looks quite real to me.

[moneyisevil]

::takes a bow::

still cant believe its only 11 tracks...although there are some monstrous pieces

[Bogart]

Good find money...I was skeptical at first, but it looks to be pretty legit.

[Tyson]

I fight off the urge
to masturbate furiously.

Fake.

[paraflux]

I'll try to get a link tomorrow when i talk to him again.
Get the link and the thread will be re-opened. Send it to me.

[Hannibal]

This review has been posted on Tool Army (by a member, not Blair or the band) in the message boards now. I think that in the next day or so, blair should see it and hopefully comment on it. The next 48 hours are going to be very interesting.

[moneyisevil]

ANOTHER IMPORTANT MESSAGE BROUGHT TO YOU BY MONEY IS EVIL:

the thread is reopened...horray!!!

[spitcodfry]

When do you think we'll get to hear the first single?

[orange.juice]

money, do you have an idea why that guy chose you to post the news?

Also: "I fight off the urge to masturbate furiously."
Coincidence?

[Nebel]

I hope we get to see that other review from that other bloke soon.

[DirtyBanana]

DO NOT SMOKE THE WEED WHILST LISTENING TO IT!

[Idiotica]

approx. 69 mins running time not including the 'walk out track'.

seems real to me but i can't wait for a more 'informative' review!

[orange.juice]

I´m really looking forward to song #7.

[One Dark Flame]

approx. 69 mins running time not including the 'walk out track'.

seems real to me but i can't wait for a more 'informative' review!
If this is true and after 5 years between albums it's only 69 minutes I will be very dissappointed. What I don't understand is why would the time of the album go down instead of up??

[Goldfoot]

If this is true and after 5 years between albums it's only 69 minutes I will be very dissappointed. What I don't understand is why would the time of the album go down instead of up??

Blair said they had to cut a segue. That tells me the album is 78 minutes long.

[Nebel]

I hope we get to see that other review from that other bloke soon.

I just realised theres not gonna be another review from there, my bad

[flipmojo]

Wow. This is a great find. I guess it fell into your lap. What a gift!

Despite the guy's weird style of writing, you still get the first "real feel" for the album. It sounds like Maynard has his usual highlight vocal moments again. It also sounds like he is trying something different again (the Indian tribal stuff). I am extremely excited about Danny's contributions after reading that. It is hard to get a feel for what Justin contributes. There was obviously no "stand out riff" like the ones from 46&2 and Schism. Or maybe he just didn't mention it? Or maybe I missed it? Adam seems to have alot of moments to shine. The reviewer seems to refer to his riffs from previous albums. I can't wait to hear them.

Great find! Now we know why they haven't released the album name. They haven't named it yet! LOL.

[flipmojo]

If this is true and after 5 years between albums it's only 69 minutes I will be very dissappointed. What I don't understand is why would the time of the album go down instead of up??

You have to assume the guy was emotionally stoked when he wrote this. He probably zoned out a few times to the music and lost track of the time. He admits once to forgetting about his watch. He also has trouble distinguishing between the beginnings and endings of some songs. It may be longer than 69 minutes.

[orange.juice]

I just realised theres not gonna be another review from there, my bad
? ? ?

[KJM]

You have to assume the guy was emotionally stoked when he wrote this. He probably zoned out a few times to the music and lost track of the time. He admits once to forgetting about his watch. He also has trouble distinguishing between the beginnings and endings of some songs. It may be longer than 69 minutes.


70 minutes of music is plenty. The average cd only holds 74.

[Goldfoot]

70 minutes of music is plenty. The average cd only holds 74.

Or, you know, almost 80 like Lateralus.

[mattw]

If this is true and after 5 years between albums it's only 69 minutes I will be very dissappointed. What I don't understand is why would the time of the album go down instead of up??

Well Lateralus is 78min 58sec, so that's pretty hard to top! Danny once said something about leaving 2 seconds breathing room etc. Also, in accordance with above posts, I'm sure the guy lost track of some of the times. As a reviewer, your sole purpose isn't to find out exactly how long the songs are as well as the fact he's using a stopwatch - surely he let a few things slide. I'm glad the 'album' that he heard went for at least 69mins plus the 'outro' track. Anyway, I'm sure the album is at least 75 minutes long if the band had to cut a segue etc. Tracks 1, 2, 3/4, 5, 7, 8, 9 & 10 all sound pretty good and similar in layout to tracks 1, 3, 5, , 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 & 12 off Lateralus, as in with a few segues here and there...

Personally, I reckon it would be cool if this album had 11 tracks as mentioned BUT it went for 78min 59sec just so it could be that little bit longer than Lateralus...

Can't wait!

[Goldfoot]

Well Lateralus is 78min 58sec, so that's pretty hard to top! Danny once said something about leaving 2 seconds breathing room etc.

The ONLY thing that gets me about that comment from Danny is the two minutes of silence at the end of Triad.

[orange.juice]

he should have brought a recording device, disguised as a stopwatch, instead.

[KJM]

Or, you know, almost 80 like Lateralus.


or, you know, I said average. They have cds that hold 99 minutes of music, there's a reason I said average.

[mattw]

The ONLY thing that gets me about that comment from Danny is the two minutes of silence at the end of Triad.

If you check it out you'll see that those 2+ minutes come BEFORE Faaip De Oaid and don't actually count in the 78:58 of the album. It's just a little recording trick you can do. You'll also notice at the end of Schism/before Parabol that there is a little 2 second gap. It also doesn't add to the total album time yet gives the listener a slight breathing space. That's all...

[orange.juice]

TotalRock put the 'review' on their main page (at least the link), so yeah it is true!
ALRIGHT!!1

[Goldfoot]

If you check it out you'll see that those 2+ minutes come BEFORE Faaip De Oaid and don't actually count in the 78:58 of the album. It's just a little recording trick you can do. You'll also notice at the end of Schism/before Parabol that there is a little 2 second gap. It also doesn't add to the total album time yet gives the listener a slight breathing space. That's all...

No, it really does count toward the album time.

[Goldfoot]

Yep, they add. However, shuffle or programm the tracks in a different order on Lateralus and the two minute gapp after Triad is gone.

Well, it actually counts down on a CD player because it IS between Triad and Faaip, however, those two minutes don't come from nowhere. As an MP3 the song is 8:46, however at 6:46 it goes silent.

[Fulcanelli]

I've read the review and just tried to absorb it and figure out how real it was but it appears legit. That said, it's looking like this will be a fantastic album but the reviewer does compare it to Lateralus quite a bit. Maybe he's not too familiar with Tool's older stuff? Blair did say that the album was supposed to be heavier but either way, it will surely kick ass. I kind of figured that the Lustmord remixes were the direction that the new album would move towards. Not in the ambient sense but in the creepy sense. I can't wait!

My main concerns regarding the review is that there are no track names and the album title isn't given. The Lateralus review had the song listing. Also, the Lateralus review was much closer to the release date but that doesn't mean much. The other thing is regarding the short song where Maynard sounds like a native. I hope that's not accurate but if it is then I hope that it sounds a fuck of a lot better than how it does in my head.

[Goldfoot]

The other thing is regarding the short song where Maynard sounds like a native. I hope that's not accurate but if it is then I hope that it sounds a fuck of a lot better than how it does in my head.

Could just be something along the lines of Renholder.

[pris0n]

But why wouldn't they release the track/album names? Why do they have to be so fucking secretive god damnit.

[Nemesis]

TotalRock put the 'review' on their main page (at least the link), so yeah it is true!

You'd think he'd have tidied up the spelling before publishing it.

[ARMZ]

DO NOT SMOKE THE WEED WHILST LISTENING TO IT!
Bullshit.

[KJM]

You'd think he'd have tidied up the spelling before publishing it.


Not if he's half as excited as he sounds.

[ARMZ]

Uh? You read the review?
Yes, I know, it went against everything I said previously, I couldn't help myself.

[Foamy]

Uh? You read the review?
Armz is always cynical. Just look at his avatar for god sake :P.
Seriously though. I got goosebumps reading that. Im so excited.

[Shaz]

snippet of audio somewhere then...

s...

sssnn...

ssssnippets...?

That andy dude is an alright cat.

yeah wednesday.

[orange.juice]

yeah wednesday.
.

Good night.

[CurtSchilling]

So, when are other 'London listeners' going to post their review?

I seems that Sunday evening you can expect reviews from Dutch listeners...

Daniel

[Foamy]

Ive got a serious boner for TOOL right now.

[ARMZ]

It might leak Foamy.

[DirtyBanana]

Ive got a serious boner for TOOL right now.

I am with you.

[ARMZ]

The woodies.

[Ryan]

It might leak Foamy.

you really know how to turn a guy on.

[mattw]

No, it really does count toward the album time.

I apologise - my mistake! Sorry. Someone once told me that's what bands do if they want to save 'time' om albums. Wrong! It all makes sense and adds up now. Thanks!

As for the review, I'm quite excited. Interesting how no names/titles have been mentioned by the band at all... I wonder how much longer they can go on a 'promotional' tour without letting anyone know what the titles are? Wouldn't that piss you off as a journalist?

Still, very positive review...

[ARMZ]

you really know how to turn a guy on.
Thanks!

[Nebel]

"It seemed harder than ever to tell what the exact 'interlude' tracks were. There was one short interlude track (the native american one) that was clearly one of these. There was another at the end of the 'classic Tool' track which may have been a track of it's own but sounded terribly like the ending to that track (but there was, like a 5 second delay - which really is way too long to be an ending - but we are talking Tool here!).

The other track divisions must be hidden in true 'prog rock' tradition and we'll only know exactly how they divide when we get the finished album.

There are no regular 'Harry Manback' or 'Eier von Saturn' type tracks other than the native american one.

I am hoping to put a little bit of the interview up somewhere - it may have to be on another act's site, though. Will post to Toolnavy.com as and when I do."

This is what he told me about the segues and stuff. Pretty cool.

[something_Dark]

did u even read it


yeah I read it.

life still sucks shit.

and what do I care?

I just want to get laid for fucks sake! jeeeez!

[Nebel]

I'm talking to him now, hes a great bloke.

[Tertius Oculum]

Blair did say there would be leaks. (Transcripts of reviews etc. not actual music leaks)

[mattw]

I'm talking to him now, hes a great bloke.

I'm sure I speak on behalf on most people when I say thankyou for the extra info you're getting. Pretty cool how easily he responded to your message etc. Like I said, anything else about the whole experience would be cool... thanks for keeping us posted!

[zenkinet]

I've read the review and just tried to absorb it and figure out how real it was but it appears legit. That said, it's looking like this will be a fantastic album but the reviewer does compare it to Lateralus quite a bit. Maybe he's not too familiar with Tool's older stuff? Blair did say that the album was supposed to be heavier but either way, it will surely kick ass. I kind of figured that the Lustmord remixes were the direction that the new album would move towards. Not in the ambient sense but in the creepy sense. I can't wait!

My main concerns regarding the review is that there are no track names and the album title isn't given. The Lateralus review had the song listing. Also, the Lateralus review was much closer to the release date but that doesn't mean much. The other thing is regarding the short song where Maynard sounds like a native. I hope that's not accurate but if it is then I hope that it sounds a fuck of a lot better than how it does in my head.

well i find that in the Lateralus review, by the same DJ, he compared Lateralus to Ænima, so its just a gradual progression of the band, and plus it needs to be compared to something right?

[Systolic]

HOLY SHIT!!

THE TIME OF RECKONING IS UPON US!

[5th Eye]

Holy crap.

[Cruzer]

I'll wait until I hear it myself.

[steve99_9]

i want to hear this cd now....like right this instant

[Bogart]

Im excited to hear track #5...

[Hannibal]

Distortiononline.com has posted today, stating that Andy King has heard the new album and previewed it sans track names and album title.


I guess this is legit....here's the snippet


02/21/06 01:09 AM
- Andy King, a U.K. radio DJ, had the chance to preview the new Tool record (without knowing the album title or track names) and took some notes. He considers the new single to be "easily the most commercial track Tool have EVER done." His (p)review of the album can be found in the DistortionOnline.com forums. Go check it out! -EyeChakra

[Dedicated_TOOLfan]

I'lll believe it when I see proof........

[Bogart]

I'lll believe it when I see proof........

I would say this is pretty legit buddy

[clarity.]

sweet.

[InertUniformity]

Distortiononline.com has posted today, stating that Andy King has heard the new album and previewed it sans track names and album title.


I guess this is legit....here's the snippet


02/21/06 01:09 AM
- Andy King, a U.K. radio DJ, had the chance to preview the new Tool record (without knowing the album title or track names) and took some notes. He considers the new single to be "easily the most commercial track Tool have EVER done." His (p)review of the album can be found in the DistortionOnline.com forums. Go check it out! -EyeChakra





HOOORAY! This is phenomenal news!

[Andorion]

good stuff

[InertUniformity]

Probably not the right thread for this but it pertains anyway:

Does anybody have an idea as to why the band would not release the album name and tracklist at this time (assuming Aldaraia is fake)? It appears as if everything is finished...

My appetite has been quenched (for the time being) but this is still puzzling to me.

[mike tyson]

I'm essited.

[hanger25934]

me want tool album! NOW!!!

[orange.juice]

above two posts: .

[martyr]

2 months of waiting................ sucks

[Nebel]

I'll give you guys a little taster as to what he told me coz I realise that all Tool fans would want this info:

-He doesn't like it as much as Lateralus, but consider that it's his favourite Tool album.
-When asked if it's heavier than Lateralus. He said "in parts". He said some parts sound like the end of "Ticks and Leeches". He said it's far more varied within each song.
-When asked if Maynard screams in this one. He said that he screams but not as angrily although in the "Best of Tool" song he makes these really loud noises.
-He said in parts it seems spiritual like Lateralus but he said he didn't concentrate on the lyrics so he couldn't tell and he said he didn't hear any expletives.
-He's pondering to post an audio interview with the band he made in 2000.

I've got more but I'll post it soon.

[orange.juice]

dude, he would be the first person to rank a Tool album after 2 listens.^ I don´t give much about his rankings.

That interview on the other hand... does he say he´s already done it?

[Nebel]

I asked him about it, where he would rank it. So don't blame him.

[KILL_CLOWNS]

For me it probably takes a dozen listens to know how I truly feel about an album.

[Nebel]

I edited out the ranking part, it's not nessecary.

[Goldfoot]

For me it probably takes a dozen listens to know how I truly feel about an album.

It took me WAY longer than that.

[orange.juice]

I asked him about it, where he would rank it. So don't blame him.
kk
It took me WAY longer than that.
same.

[s ti N Kfizt]

sounds kind of real, but i don't like the things he says about the album so much :(

Go Livide! (http://marockmagazine.com/mastabe.htm) hehe.

[hanger25934]

i'm going into a coma untiill this shit drops. see you guys later. lol

[Ktuluvic]

AND YES JUST SIGN UP FOR THE TOTAL ROCK FORUM..IT LITERALLY TAKES 3 SECONDS...I CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT AT FIRST

this whole thread is an advertisement for total rock

[millermt]

this whole thread is an advertisement for total rock

Don't they deserve the promo for being the first to give us insight?

[Ktuluvic]

No, the whole thing reaks of a publicity stunt. Meaning this isn't real.

[D-Day_Daddy]

Didn't someone say there was going to be an interveiw wednesday night? Is it going to be aired live? On TotalRock.com you can open the streaming player and it has a guest cam. I wonder what time it's going to happen. Maybe they will give the important info then.

[millermt]

No, the whole thing reaks of a publicity stunt. Meaning this isn't real.

I'd put the chances of this review being legitimate at 99.99%. The same guy did a Lateralus preview back in 2001 as well.

[hanger25934]

i believe this to be true. andy is for real.

[orange.juice]

No, the whole thing reaks of a publicity stunt. Meaning this isn't real.
Well that´s a good cue. I wonder how those listening session look like. I bet the listeners have to sign sorts of confidenblah agreements, and are only allowed to publish exactly the information which is given to them, along with rhetorical suggestions from the label. A win-win situation. "Ok, you can be the first one to publish it, but you have to hype it. Hype it good. We won´t let you leave the room until you sell your soul."

[Nebel]

Here's some additional stuff he told me-
-Danny Carey doesn't have a drum solo as indicated but has a few very short passages and also that bamboo pole noise.
-He says track 8 (in the review) is similar to Reflection, as in it's "floaty".
-He says track 9 is heavy but not in a "Ticks and Leeches" kind of way.
-Apparently the last track is a weird bassy rumble thing with no vocals. One of Tool's "odd" tracks.
-Many of the guitar parts seem lifted from Lateralus, but he mentioned that already in the review.

[bluefire]

dude, he would be the first person to rank a Tool album after 2 listens.^ I don´t give much about his rankings.


Yeah, I didn't like Lateralus the first couple times I heard it either.

[orange.juice]

cool. it is good that he does cooperate. Really! ^nebel

[Fulcanelli]

well i find that in the Lateralus review, by the same DJ, he compared Lateralus to Ænima, so its just a gradual progression of the band, and plus it needs to be compared to something right?

For sure, I agree. All I meant was that perhaps he familiar with Ænima but I see that's not true. The reason that I suggested that was because the review doesn't sound like what we've been told by Blair, but that really doesn't mean much. I'm sure that there will be other reviews soon and we can compare them.

[Foamy]

I love the idea of Adam quoting parts from old TOOL songs. What a perfect way to end the bands final album. Don't you think? It's nostalgic.

[bluefire]

Many of the guitar parts seem lifted from Lateralus, but he mentioned that already in the review.

Dammit, I hope thats not true.

[Nebel]

Why don't you guys pm him some questions, I mean I did the same thing and I got answers so any you might have just go on Total Rock and pm the guy, you're definitely gonna get an answer.

[orange.juice]

Dammit, I hope thats not true.
Actually, this could turn out pretty darn great. I mean, it´s completely new songs, and then a sudden memory from Lateralus jumps in. Yeah, i think it will be good. Well, the reviews yet to come will clear this up. :D

[Fulcanelli]

Actually, this could turn out pretty darn great. I mean, it´s completely new songs, and then a sudden memory from Lateralus jumps in. Yeah, i think it will be good. Well, the reviews yet to come will clear this up. :D

I really don't think that's true. The reviewer was just excited and heard "familiar" sounds and reported them.

[bluefire]

Actually, this could turn out pretty darn great. I mean, it´s completely new songs, and then a sudden memory from Lateralus jumps in. Yeah, i think it will be good. Well, the reviews yet to come will clear this up. :D

Yeah who knows, one review by a guy who compares lateralus to aenima. He may just be talking about adam's solos which really do sound pretty similar.

[moneyisevil]

this review is fake....lol

[orange.juice]

#232,233 yeah.
I wonder what´s up with the "guitar is up front".
this review is fake....lol
OMG!

[Nebel]

#232,233 yeah.
I wonder what´s up with the "guitar is up front".

He says that the drums and vocals aren't as apparent as they are in Lateralus (taken a step back I presume) and it's now mainly the bass and the lead?

[Windir]

i'm skeptical

.

That's only thing I read in this Thread.

[moneyisevil]

all i know is there is alot of ungrateful fucks on this board...so next time i find something of interest im keeping to to myself!

[T-13h]

this review is fake....lol

Hey, thanks for posting this review, man (and thanks to Andy King). I could practically hear the music thanks to the emphatic as opposed to technical description. Looking forward to There Is No Name.

[bluefire]

money, I love you.

[pris0n]

all i know is there is alot of ungrateful fucks on this board...so next time i find something of interest im keeping to to myself!

Thanks for posting the review!

[Nebel]

we all love you moneyisevil

[orange.juice]

He says that the drums and vocals aren't as apparent as they are in Lateralus (taken a step back I presume) and it's now mainly the bass and the lead?
Hmm, this does give me some concerns. On the other hand, they will know what they´re doing. I hope.

[orange.juice]

we all love you moneyisevil
seconded. Great job.

[bluefire]

interesting that the single is the most commercial, I would have thought they would go in the opposite direction at this point in their careers.

[moneyisevil]

personally i cant wait to hear "MJK becoming an native american" and apprently there is alot of chanting and what not on this album

[millermt]

Thanks for posting the review, money. Don't let the few jaded bastards get to you, but know that the vast majority are grateful.

[Foamy]

Free Nelson Mandella!

[Andorion]

A man is stranded on a desert island for five years with nothing to eat but tree bark. Finally, a cruise ship spots him in the distance, and sends a boat out to rescue him.

On the trip back to the cruise ship, the rescuer describes the fantastic steak dinner awaiting the poor man as soon as they arrive at the ship.

"It sounds like the steak is too well done, the salad is too bitter, the sides are too raw and the wine is the wrong vintage!" complains the man.

The End.

[One Dark Flame]

Blair said they had to cut a segue. That tells me the album is 78 minutes long.
This is true. So I guess we should just assume that the DJ and his stop watch can't tell time?? :()

[One Dark Flame]

69 minutes (excluding last one, thus maybe 75?) of really good music or 90 minutes of shitty music?

I really don't care.
How about 90 minutes of really good "TOOL" music??

[paraology]

I dont much like the thought of a "commercial" track either. But as long as its heavy and along the lines of a stinkfist or parabola, Im sure we all will love it.

[One Dark Flame]

You have to assume the guy was emotionally stoked when he wrote this. He probably zoned out a few times to the music and lost track of the time. He admits once to forgetting about his watch. He also has trouble distinguishing between the beginnings and endings of some songs. It may be longer than 69 minutes.
I hope your right man, I really do. On the other hand I think if this review was the real deal that it's kinda cool they wouldn't tell the album name or track listing.

[Nebel]

He actually says that track (the commercial one) is his favourite...

[One Dark Flame]

Well Lateralus is 78min 58sec, so that's pretty hard to top! Danny once said something about leaving 2 seconds breathing room etc. Also, in accordance with above posts, I'm sure the guy lost track of some of the times. As a reviewer, your sole purpose isn't to find out exactly how long the songs are as well as the fact he's using a stopwatch - surely he let a few things slide. I'm glad the 'album' that he heard went for at least 69mins plus the 'outro' track. Anyway, I'm sure the album is at least 75 minutes long if the band had to cut a segue etc. Tracks 1, 2, 3/4, 5, 7, 8, 9 & 10 all sound pretty good and similar in layout to tracks 1, 3, 5, , 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 & 12 off Lateralus, as in with a few segues here and there...

Personally, I reckon it would be cool if this album had 11 tracks as mentioned BUT it went for 78min 59sec just so it could be that little bit longer than Lateralus...

Can't wait!
See that would be awesome if it were 78min 59sec!!

[Foamy]

I added up the times he quoted in the review and it came to just over 79 minutes.

[orange.juice]

A man is stranded on a desert island for five years with nothing to eat but tree bark. Finally, a cruise ship spots him in the distance, and sends a boat out to rescue him.

On the trip back to the cruise ship, the rescuer describes the fantastic steak dinner awaiting the poor man as soon as they arrive at the ship.

"It sounds like the steak is too well done, the salad is too bitter, the sides are too raw and the wine is the wrong vintage!" complains the man.

The End.
good one.

[Goldfoot]

I added up the times he quoted in the review and it came to just over 79 minutes.

I could only add up 1-9. How did you get times for 10 and 11?

[s ti N Kfizt]

Read andy king's PRE-REVIEW of lateralus here:

http://toolshed.down.net/articles/index.php?action=view-article&id=April_2001--Totalrock.com.html

Now i read this old review again, partly. I thought this new review's track explanations we're unpromising, but now i know that the writer just has his own style and of course he hasn't listened the album much. fuck, i suck in english..

those parts of lyrics seem kind of weird though :/


edit/ and hell, why everyone's talking about the length of the album and how many tracks are in it??

[Foamy]

I could only add up 1-9. How did you get times for 10 and 11?
Sorry I got it wrong. Im an idiot.

[Nebel]

People should note that this is just one person's opinion, doesn't mean it's fact, people disliked Lateralus but it's one of my favourite albums ever, the time will come soon where we can all share our opinions.