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purusha
03-01-2003, 07:29 PM
Hi everyone. I'm posting this essay I wrote per someone's request whom I believe is already a memeber of this message board. Any thoughts are welcome.

I did an interpretation of this song for a class project, and used the song as a tool (no pun intended) to help relate certain ideas from Rudolf Otto's book, "The Idea of the Holy," which is a book that attempts to pinpoint non-rational experience. (You can also find it posted on www.demonolatry.cjb.net)

Notice how the lyrics to the song accurately describe a mystical experience according to the definition of Otto. Here are some supporting quotations from Ottos' book to complement and expand on the deeper meaning behind the lyrics:

“I have come curiously close to the end, down
Beneath my self-indulgent pitiful hole,
Defeated, I concede and
Move closer
I may find comfort here
I may find peace within the emptiness
How pitiful”

The “end” that he is referring to is an end of resisting or failing to acknowledge a higher power. To “concede” means “to admit to be true,” so underneath all of his indulgence and giving into constant desire, he essentially gives up an old lifestyle or way of thinking in an effort to acknowledge something greater, in which he finds comfort. The “peace within the emptiness” refers to what Otto would characterize as a first experience of the “numinous.” Otto claims that one will find an empty feeling within upon first experiencing/encountering the numinous. “How pitiful,” in my opinion, likely refers to how ironic it is for him to finally find peace in such a simple way.

“It's calling me ...

And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping“

The line “it’s calling me” is eerie because something higher and more powerful is faintly (and perhaps increasingly) drawing him closer toward its being. “And in my darkest moment,” probably refers to what Otto would describe as “daemonic dread.” Though this phrase could be referring to a low point in his life, Otto points out that the period preceding an encounter with the numinous is one of utter darkness, or “daemonic dread.”

“The moon tells me a secret--my confidant
As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own and
A million light reflections pass over me”

Nature is often a key link to experiencing the numinous. Otto claims that the feeling of it (the numinous) may “at times come sweeping like a gentle tide, pervading the mind with a tranquil mood of deepest worship.” So in essence, the “moon tells me a secret” refers to this solace and understanding which can be found in nature. “As full and bright as I am” indicates that the moon is as much a part of him than he is of it; the moon and him are both reflections of God (the numinous) who encompasses the ultimate brightness, or light. “The light is not my own,” then, because the light belongs to God. “… For he is wholly a God of revelation,” says Otto. Or, “It’s not the ‘feeling of our created-ness’ but the ‘feeling of our creature-hood,’ that is, the consciousness of the littleness of every creature in face of that which is above all creatures.” “A million light reflections pass over me” probably refers to the idea that “Indeed the clutching force and violence of the emotion so far exceeds any impressiveness contributed by the circumstances of time and place that one can often scarcely speak of impression at all, but at most of an encounter, serving as cue or occasion for the felt experience,” says Otto.

“Its source is bright and endless
She resuscitates the hopeless
Without her, we are lifeless satellites drifting”

“Its source is bright and endless,” likely refers to a point in the book when Otto says “So is its bliss-giving character included in the God who over brims with pure goodness or brightness.” “She” either refers to a postmodern way of imagining God, or perhaps it just emphasizes that we don’t or can’t really know who or what the numinous is, as traditional religion assumes God is male. According to Websters Dictionary, “satellite” refers to a “celestial body that orbits a larger body.” In short, “without her,” we truly are lifeless satellites drifting.

“And as I pull my head out I am without one doubt
Don't wanna be here feeding my narcissism.
I must crucify the ego before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out
Before I pine away.”

“Narcissus” was a beautiful youth of Greek mythology who fell in love with his own image. In the song, he doesn’t want to become more and more infatuated with himself through self-indulgence and the like, as was noted earlier. “To pine” is to “long for something intensely; to lose vigor or health due to distress.” “So crucify the ego before it’s far too late,” then, refers to what Otto would point out here: “For one of the chiefest and most general features of mysticism is just this self-depreciation, the estimation of self, of the person ‘I,’ as something not perfectly or essentially real, or even as mere nullity, a self-depreciation which comes to demand its own fulfillment in the practice on rejecting the delusion of selfhood, and so makes for the annihilation of self.” Otto also states, “For ‘void’ is, like darkness and silence, a negation, but a negation that does away with every ‘this’ and ‘here,’ in order that the ‘wholly other’ may become actual.” And finally, another quote from Otto: “This aspiration for the ‘void’ and for becoming void … must seem a kind of lunacy to anyone who has no inner sympathy for the esoteric language and ideograms of mysticism, and lack the matrix from which these come necessarily to birth”

“o crucify the ego, before it's far too late
To leave behind this place so negative and blind and cynical
And you will come to find that we are all one mind
Capable of all that's imagined and all conceivable.
Just let the light touch you
And let the words spill through
And let them pass right through
Bringing out our hope and reason ...
before we pine away.”

This stanza is the culmination of the song. “And you will come to find that we are all one mind,” refers to Otto’s book when he says, “Once the numinous consciousness has been aroused, it is to be expected, seeing that it is a unity, that one of its ‘moments’ will be found to be inextricably bound up with the rest.” He is calling for us to figure this experience out for ourselves before it’s too late. It has been suggested by several philosophers and authors (such as Richard Tarnas or Riane Eisler) than our society is under going a pivotal transitional period though which we must emerge soon. Either we’ll make it though, or fail.

Sphase
03-02-2003, 12:21 AM
"Overthinking, overanalyzing seperates the body from the mind."

eonblueapocalyp
03-08-2003, 07:33 PM
I think Purusha i very correct in their interpretation. I wil admit i don't know much of Otto, but i have spent a long time thinking about this song. I really agree that it it shows a chnge of self, maybe an epiphany of some sort. I also never knew that part about narcissus, thats cool. Keep thinking, spiral out.....

pushtheenvelope
03-08-2003, 11:15 PM
Firstly, thankyou for your inquisitive view on this amazing piece, and secondly, thankyou for including such a seemingly pinpoint lyrical parallel to this Otto fellow's insights. I am completely unfamiliar with his work, and would be very interested if it is purchasable locally (Oz) or over the net somewhere. I'm sure.

It just seems so spot on though. It's also refreshing to have some of my own thoughts/queries about the song put into some sort of meaningful format similar to what you have been able to do. I would love to read both this book by Otto and maybe even your essay if it was at all remotely possible.

This song is perhaps the most moving song for me on the record, and as a live experience, it has been the only song to physically move me to tears. I cannot even begin to describe the intense feelings that overwhelmed me that fateful night, but maybe having had such an extended insight into the obviously rich meaning of the song, I may have even out-of-bodied the experience, or at the very least dozed off into euphoric unconsciousness.

Thankyou again, and I re-iterate my deep interest in this song and your/Otto's interpretation of it.

Adam.