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View Full Version : H., H. is for children


Delirium Color
01-17-2006, 10:08 AM
****DISCLAIMER****First, let me begin by stating that I believe art has at least three purposes, although I am sure there are more. #1. As the expressive outlet for the creator. #2. As a means of experiencing new emotions, thoughts, ideas, etc. as the one being receptive to the art. And #3. For the art to have an impact on society and it's values. This being said, I am not here to analise and interpret what TOOL ment when they wrote this song, because I don't know. I can only report what I felt and experienced as a result of listening to this song. With this disclaimer in place I will begin.

I remembered the song from the radio. I never knew the name of the song. I only called it the "I don't mind" one from TOOL. I wasn't a TOOL fan and the music was just on as background noise. I never "listened" to i. It wasn't until many years later after buying the album that I found out the name of the song and begin listening to it instead of having music as background noise.

So of course, like many, I first thought the song was about drugs. Eh, H.="H", Heroin, the white horse. Yeah I could see how it could be a drug song. "Days away I still feel you touching me, changing me." That's the way drugs work.

The more I listened to the album, the more this song became the poster child of the way I felt about the album. I swear I could feel my mind expanding with each listen. The way I began to view issues began changing. My mind was making new connections and I was growing as a person. I began to see the song as me in the middle of my old life and ideas and my new life and new experiences. And I was really happy with this.

Untill one day I was talking with my 16 year old son and thought, "Oh God, you are killing me." and then it hit me. All of the sudden the song took on a new and more profound meaning. To me, H. is about growing up to become a parent.

"What's coming through is alive"
Well duh, babies are alive when they are born

"What's holding up is a mirror"
Children are a part of us. They are the best of us. They also make us reflect upon our past because how can we parent if we haven't learned enough life lessons.

"But what's singing songs is a snake"
Clearly this is the narrator. I know this album is full of Jungian symbols and I don't know if the snake is one. But in my interpretation the snake is just the narrator before the realization that he will/have to change for the sake of his child.

"Looking to turn my piss to wine"
To me this speaks of turning something ordinary into something profound. Like the birth of a child.

"They're both totally void of hate"
Children are innocent. It isn't until we pervert them with all our crap that they begin to hate. Also, your past is incapable of hate because it is not alive, void of feeling.

"And killing me just the same"
This is the most important part of the song. The narrator knows that each end of the spectrum will being and end with a death of the self in some way. We are not the same people we were years, days, and even moments ago. Especially if we are living and growing. So parts of ourselves die. Even when we are doing destructive things to ourselves we kill parts of ourselves...maybe the parts that were innocent. These I believe are on the snake side. Then having children kill you as well. I think they kill the darker parts of the self. The pride, the ego. Although there are some parents that think they can be just the same people after having kids. But that is for another time.

" I am too connected to you to slip away, fade away."
The narrator is talking to the child saying " I've realized that I need to be here, in the present in the moment with you because you need me. I cannot slip back into my past and be selfish.

"Days away I still feel you, touching me, changing me. And concideratly killing me."
If you've ever experienced the birth of a child you can understand the complete transformation that takes over your being. You quit living for yourself and instead live for this being that is totally helpless and relies on you for every aspect of it's life. I believe this is what the narrator is saying. And again, killing the ego and the selfishness because that isn't condusive for parenting.

"Venomous voice, tempts me,
Drains me, bleeds me,
Leaves me cracked and empty.
Drags me down like some sweet gravity."
There's that darn temptation to revert back to the past. It is scary to give up yourself to something. The narrator is see-sawing back and forth. Wanting to have both, weighing the pro's and con's of both.


"And the snake is drowned and
As I look in his eyes,
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of those times.

I could have cried then.
I should have cried then.

And as the walls come down and
As I look in your eyes
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of the times
I have died
and will die.
It's all right.
I don't mind."
Very important. He has fully given in, forgoing his past. He has accepted that he has to change. The past has died. The child has been born into his father's "now". He has accepted that he will, by experiencing parenthood, die many times. And he tell the child that it's ok, I will do it for you because I am supposed to, because I love you.

Personal experience related to this song. Before I had my son I was a slut (yeah!), drug user and just generally a slacker. When I found out that I was pregnant I realized that I couldn't be like that anymore. I had always said that I was never going to have kids because of the crappy parenting I had. So I made it my mission to kill my past (although this most like happens subconsiously). I quit drugs and haven't used in over 16 years. I began finding out why I was so promiscuous (father issues) and began parenting classes to break the cycle of abuse. I was a different person when I gave birth to my son than when I was 9 months prior when I found out I was pregnant.

And I have died many times since then. With each new lesson learned and experience you kill off preconcieved notions or ideals that are not valid in your life. I guess this is what would be called "growing up".

I can also say that my son has died a few times as well. He is an angsty teen which is totally different from the silly, conciderate and empathetic child he was.

Many may think that dying is bad. We have a fear of death, of the unknown. But in this song dying isn't bad. It shows growth. It shows experience.


Ok so this isn't the most articulate piece of work. It is hard for me to put into words these feelings. I think you get the gist of it thought.

bentTOOL23
01-17-2006, 11:34 AM
i didnt read most of your thing cuz i dont really care.
to me though i think its simply about being human...being alive
so naturally this song is about choice and direction, and death

wats coming through is alive

-self-explainatory

wats holding up is a mirror

-the new life can look and see what i was before.
a choice comes through, should the life stay a reflection
or grow and become something new

wats singing songs is a snake

-our inner voice, our conscience gives us ideas on where to go

looking to turn my piss into wine

-motives, its looking through a mirror and trying to change for the better

theyre both totally void of hate, but killing me just the same

-being alive involves death, death is inevitable

the snake behind me hisses what my damage could have been

-our voice tells us what could've happened if we did this, or that, and from what we learn we try again

my blood before me begs me to open up my heart again

-life comes from a will to grow and expand, life wants love

and i feel this coming over like a storm again, consideratley

-life's gotta do something, but what? this ignorance draws a storm

venemous voice tempts me, drains me, leaves me cracked and empty

-following evil leaves us broken.

drags me down like some sweet gravity

-but evil controls us and without it, there can't be love

i am too connected to you, to slip away, to fade away
but days away i...still feel you, touching me, changing me
consideratley killing me...

-life.

without the skin, beneath the storm
under these tears, the walls came down

-life finds reason beneath its ignorance

and the snake is drowned, and as i look in your eyes
my fear begins to fade, recalling of the times
i could have cried then
i should have cried then

-life realizes pain has reason as it remembers all the times it gave in to the snake

i have died
and will die
its alrite
i dont mind....

-death is nessecary

Mooseifer
01-17-2006, 01:06 PM
I didn't read both posts

Ganjalf
01-17-2006, 01:13 PM
his sons name is devo "h" kennan

according to the faq, if that clears your meaning up at all

bentTOOL23
01-17-2006, 04:48 PM
his sons name is devo "h" kennan

according to the faq, if that clears your meaning up at all

it was also supposed to be called half-full or half-empty and thats where the H. comes from. im sure his son had something to do with it...

H stands for 'vauge title name'

Delirium Color
01-18-2006, 12:49 AM
i didnt read most of your thing cuz i dont really care.
to me though i think its simply about being human...being alive
so naturally this song is about choice and direction, and death


Bent,

Good!! At least you have a thought about the song. ~pats on back~ And I really don't care what your interpretation is either. Agreed!!

Delirium Color
01-18-2006, 12:51 AM
I didn't read both posts
Scintillating conversation. ~examines nails ~ Oh is that it? Good job, moose.

Delirium Color
01-18-2006, 12:53 AM
his sons name is devo "h" kennan

according to the faq, if that clears your meaning up at all

13, Yeah I read the FAQ's. But I read it after my feelings about the song. And it doesn't really influence me one way or another. *s*

Delirium Color
01-18-2006, 12:54 AM
it was also supposed to be called half-full or half-empty and thats where the H. comes from. im sure his son had something to do with it...

H stands for 'vauge title name'

Bent,

Like I said, I really don't care who or what this song is "supposed" to be about. It's art for art's sake.

Mooseifer
01-18-2006, 02:21 AM
Scintillating conversation. ~examines nails ~ Oh is that it? Good job, moose.

thank you... *awaits prize*

ArizonaBay
01-29-2006, 05:17 AM
I liked your interpretation too. Think you are probably right too with MJK's son being Devo H. Keenan.

a788
01-29-2006, 10:50 AM
i read in an interview that maynard walked around with buisness cards with the name "Jesus H. Christ" on it... im not really sure how that quite fits into anything

TurdEye13
01-29-2006, 05:42 PM
i read in an interview that maynard walked around with buisness cards with the name "Jesus H. Christ" on it...

What a nice thought

Ryan
01-30-2006, 03:53 AM
H. is for homosexual.

>

What's coming through is alive.

this denotes a penis forcing its way inside the narrator's anus.

What's holding up is a mirror.
But what's singing songs is a snake
Looking to turn this piss to wine.

this is all jibberish apart from the word "snake," which further emphasises the male genitalia.

They're both totally void of hate,
But killing me just the same.

aids.

The snake behind me hisses
What my damage could have been.
My blood before me begs me
Open up my heart again.

more aids.

And I feel this coming over like a storm again.
Considerately.

lack of lubrication; frustration.


the remainder of the song speaks for itself.

a788
01-30-2006, 07:19 PM
you almost just ruined the song for me....
came close... but no

pathological2
01-31-2006, 12:02 PM
"what's holding up is a mirror"

"what is this but my reflection" (pushit)

Naga Royal Guard
02-03-2006, 10:34 PM
its just too open ended thats all

Dedicated_TOOLfan
02-21-2006, 06:54 AM
No way!!! It can't be!!! NNNOOOOO!!

snakeeyedhawk
02-23-2006, 10:16 AM
This is one of the only Tool songs I haven't attempted to find an interpretation out of. It's massive and overwhelming, to me at least. I commend you for taking the time to go for it.

juncopartner
03-03-2006, 12:31 AM
H. is for homosexual.

>

What's coming through is alive.

this denotes a penis forcing its way inside the narrator's anus.

What's holding up is a mirror.
But what's singing songs is a snake
Looking to turn this piss to wine.

this is all jibberish apart from the word "snake," which further emphasises the male genitalia.

They're both totally void of hate,
But killing me just the same.

aids.

The snake behind me hisses
What my damage could have been.
My blood before me begs me
Open up my heart again.

more aids.

And I feel this coming over like a storm again.
Considerately.

lack of lubrication; frustration.


the remainder of the song speaks for itself.

hahahahaha. brilliant. the only thing i could decipher from the song is
'touching me, changing me'
and my analysis is that maynard wears adult diapers, and his significant other changes them. i think it is pretty accurate.

Fit4Demolition
03-09-2006, 07:11 PM
i always found this song as a love song, along with a couple other songs from aenima. the first time i had kissed a girl, i could feel the kiss a day after it happened,
"days away i still feel you, touching me, changing me" then the love starts to fade and the person meets someone new, "open up my heart again. and i feel this coming over me like a storm again." and then the old love starts to interfere with the new love, "im too connected to you, to slip away, fade away" and then all love dies, "considerately killing me" when i first got aenima i was in a rough time in my life and the song fit my feelings perfectly, but i think every explanation of this song is right because thats what maynard wants his songs to be like.