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Loej
02-13-2003, 09:56 AM
**My poetry, just thought I'd post it and see what people have to say about it. I'm really into writing. Tell me what you think, and if you want to read more of my stuff email me or go to toology, it's on that site.




Without excuse the boy walked frightened up to the man.
Without excuse the man pointed his finger.
He wasn’t about to develop accuracy in this current moment,
But the boy knew where he was pointing.
Where the boys destiny lie.
Just ahead,
Past anything that was everything.
The boy knew his decisions were wrong.
The boy knew he had no other way out of this mess,
But again it was too late.
Too late for anything to make of himself.
No one could hold him or love him,
For he chose the way he would walk.
The way that seemed to be easier,
But now it seemed it was the worst choice of his life.
By now he could see what was about to swallow him up.
Darkness.
Complete and utter darkness engulfed the boy.
Without excuse the boy knew he had nothing.
Once the boy let go,
Endless falling.
There seemed to be no bottom.
Days it felt like.
Then he saw light.
Brighter than any light he has seen,
Then he smelt something he had never smelt before.
Disgusted the boy covered his nose,
But gravity kept him from doing so.
Finally the end of the rabbit hole.
It came out into a gaint dome looking place.
Bright with fire,
And a flowing river of…
What exactly was that?
The boy hit the river hard,
But didn’t touch the riverbed.
The river was thin and wavy,
It seemed to fit just right for the boy.
The boy sank…knowing, and without hope or excuse.
He knew.
He knew the whole time.

x7 Lateralus 7x
10-22-2005, 04:57 PM
I've taken a look back to the earliest postings... I kind of noticed that most of the posts weren't even poetry.

This one was alright, but fairly blunt- it told you everything that happend,
and it probably has one or maybe two meanings to it.

This was posted about two years ago, and in two years I think everyone, not only on this site but everyone has improved with their writing; making it interesting, a puzzle, a great story that could almost be used as a philosophy.

I guess I like the ending to it though, "He knew the whole time."
So maybe this one is all about whether or not you can relate- I'm sure all do though.
I'm sure that there are some times when we are going through something, we know what's going to happen but yet we still choose to go through it... well actually it's not that we chose to go through it, we just know the consequences and hope that the risk of going through it won't leave us with them.

There is some imagery I like in this one as well, such as the thin river- I haven't heard anyone refer to any river as "thin" since I've started posting in this section of TDN.
This one deserved a reply I suppose, but there never was one, so here I go...

*BUMP!!!!!!!!!!!*