View Full Version : Bottom of one's essence

05-17-2005, 03:01 AM
Here's how I interpretate these lyrics, bare with me :

My compassion is broken now.
My will is eroded,
and my desire stolen and it makes me feel ugly.

Will is eroded when one is subject to non-essential emotions, thoughts, feelings etc. You have no free will if your intellectual, emotional, moving and instinctive centres are out of balance. Your true desires are unknown at that point because desires other than your own have taken over. If you're aware of that at certain intervals it makes you feel dirty because you know that whatever is going on inside is not really you.

I'm on my knees and burning.
My piss and moans are the fuel that set my head on fire.
So smell my soul burning.

Soul/essence is burning is a metaphore for when it has been ignored.

I'm broken, looking up to see the enemy.
I have swallowed the poison you feed me ...
but I survive on it ,
and it leaves me guilt fed, hatred fed, weakness fed..
and I feel ugly, and dead inside.

The poisons can be all sorts of things like guilt, hate, weakness etc. that happen beyond our control, beyond conscious perception (unless you train yourself to notice). You survive on it in some kind of auto pilot mode.

Shit adds up at the bottom.

All these influences beyond true self add up. That's why you have a lot of people going berzerk at some point in their lives.

You've left me no choice but to go inside and rebuild
what's broken.
Too much , too far , too late to lie down now.
I must arm myself to fight you
by making weapons out of my imperfections.
It's all I have left.
There's no other choice.

The above all comes down to facing your inner self. Monitoring what thoughts and feelings pass through and how they came to be and wether they are usefull or not, in other words wether they come from true essence or other influences. Do not underestimate this : for instance when you are with friends you possible associate with a character that is not your true self, a very convincing mask.

I'm shameless, nameless, nothing, and noone now.

You really are nothing if things happen beyond your own control. This is what sleep is.

But my soul must be iron for my fear is naked.
I'm naked and fearless.
But I'm dead inside.
You see.. shit adds up, now I'm dead inside.
Hatred, weakness, and guilt keep me alive
at the bottom.

If all these things like weakness, hate and guilt (and their are many others) control you they keep your essence at the bottom/background. Or you could also interpretate this as that being weak and hatefull is a bottom of its own, the basement of your true self.

Ouspensky (see recommended books) says we live in the basement and kitchen of our own self.