Zinnia
02-05-2003, 02:52 PM
When you have a grudge you tell people about it.you let everyone know what’s going on. You “wear it like a crown” you plan out what you will do if certain things happen. “calculate what you will and will not tolerate” You want control. You thing by holding this grudge you have some sort of control over that person. “desperate to control all and everything. And you refuse to forgive. You hang on to it as long as you can because if you don’t you won’t be able to teach that person a lesson. Everything will fall apart. You deny the fact that you’re being unreasonable and refuse to beleve otherwise. It’s like a prison because you have to be careful of what you do think and say. If something comes up and you need that persons help, or they invite you somewhere you have to choose between the grudge and what you really want. You choose the grudge because you will not be found wrong. You don’t see the damage this is doing to everyone. It sinks you, controls you, and now people identify you with it. If it doesn’t sink you any further you will be right and have a sort of glory. That glory is what is making you hang on. You have to choose to let go. The experience can bring you closer together.