endlesswater
10-20-2004, 09:36 AM
My interpretation:
Disclaimer: 'he' doesn't mean Maynard specifically, it does mean the narrator of the song.
I think that this is an alternative look at the subject of Prison Sex.
If you listen carefully, he's saying 'pushit in me, pushit on me' despite the fact that the lyrics offered say only 'pushit on me'. This is rape, or at least what he now realizes was rape.
I think it is a song about memory, about trying to change the past. Another way of dealing with what happened then.
The song begins with the line about entering the gap and goes on to say, 'I will choke until I swallow'. He can only resist so long. Eventually he must give in, accept, even desire what is happening. But this doesn't make it right.
'You still love me, you still love me'... The 'pusher' claims to love him, but does this to him anyway- pushes this on him, in him, puts him someplace he doesn't want to be.
The claim of love is what makes it so hard for him to break away, because he too has a love or need for the abuse. 'I'm alive when you're touching me, alive when you're holding me down. But I'd trade it all for just a little piece of mind.'
I think the gap is a metaphor for losing his sanity, 'Take care not to make me enter, If I do we both may disappear.' The fault-line is the same thing as the gap- a loss of control.
If he stays here and continues to allow this to happen, he will be destroyed - or fade like a sigh. If the pusher continues to try to keep him there, he will have to persuade him another way. Lose control. Enter the gap.
You still love me, but there is no love in fear. This is where he illustrates the realization: You still love me. But it's a lie. Because this isn't love.
He never wants to experiance this again. It was forced on him when he was unable to understand it, he grew to need it, but now he needs his sanity even more.
The part toward the end: 'Staring down the hole again, hands are on my back again' is very visual. It could be happening now, it is so immediate. But in fact it is a memory.
His childhood self could not react any other way but with passivity, but now he is reliving it, and not as a child.
He lies there as it happens, hands on his back holding him down. He has to survive, even though he is terrified of what may come.
And what may come is violence. The actual lyrics here are: 'Will I remember the way to love you, if I claw your fucking throat away?'
The ultimate rejection of both the pusher and the pushing.
Disclaimer: 'he' doesn't mean Maynard specifically, it does mean the narrator of the song.
I think that this is an alternative look at the subject of Prison Sex.
If you listen carefully, he's saying 'pushit in me, pushit on me' despite the fact that the lyrics offered say only 'pushit on me'. This is rape, or at least what he now realizes was rape.
I think it is a song about memory, about trying to change the past. Another way of dealing with what happened then.
The song begins with the line about entering the gap and goes on to say, 'I will choke until I swallow'. He can only resist so long. Eventually he must give in, accept, even desire what is happening. But this doesn't make it right.
'You still love me, you still love me'... The 'pusher' claims to love him, but does this to him anyway- pushes this on him, in him, puts him someplace he doesn't want to be.
The claim of love is what makes it so hard for him to break away, because he too has a love or need for the abuse. 'I'm alive when you're touching me, alive when you're holding me down. But I'd trade it all for just a little piece of mind.'
I think the gap is a metaphor for losing his sanity, 'Take care not to make me enter, If I do we both may disappear.' The fault-line is the same thing as the gap- a loss of control.
If he stays here and continues to allow this to happen, he will be destroyed - or fade like a sigh. If the pusher continues to try to keep him there, he will have to persuade him another way. Lose control. Enter the gap.
You still love me, but there is no love in fear. This is where he illustrates the realization: You still love me. But it's a lie. Because this isn't love.
He never wants to experiance this again. It was forced on him when he was unable to understand it, he grew to need it, but now he needs his sanity even more.
The part toward the end: 'Staring down the hole again, hands are on my back again' is very visual. It could be happening now, it is so immediate. But in fact it is a memory.
His childhood self could not react any other way but with passivity, but now he is reliving it, and not as a child.
He lies there as it happens, hands on his back holding him down. He has to survive, even though he is terrified of what may come.
And what may come is violence. The actual lyrics here are: 'Will I remember the way to love you, if I claw your fucking throat away?'
The ultimate rejection of both the pusher and the pushing.