Question for fans who love H.

[Metalanarchist]

I have read the messages posted for this song so far and they are intriguing. My question is to those people who proclaim H. to be their favorite Tool song. I have been reading reviews for their 2002 tours and it seems to me that at least a dozen people, often couples, refer to H. as the highlight of the show they attended, and say it has some special significance to them and/or their relationship. If you are one of these people I would like to hear from you. H. is a difficult song for me to understand (lyrically). How can a song that speaks of "compassionately killing me" and a snake be so inspiring to you? What is the connection? If you feel I'm being too personal, OK, maybe speak in general terms, but I just want to get a clue because I have never seen how that song could apply to me or my relationships. Thanks.

[tooconnected]

to metalanarchist

this is definetely one of my fav. tool song and at the laast show it was the high light. my interpretation is this. H., stands for Heroin. I really dont know if the band does drugs and it doesnt matter to me. Ive never experienced heroin but i have done things that have similar effects. the line "considerately killing me" refers to the the fact that something is killing him but "I DONT MIND" because it is doing it in such a way that he likes it. And "days away i still feel you, touching me, changing me.." is what i have experienced. Days after doing something you still feel the effects. The rest of the song you can put into context. The snake, represents something that is "hunting" after him. "Turning piss into wine..." making a shitty situation seem great. "(the "snake") is totally void of hate..." it doesnt matter who, it will perform the same effect.

tell me what you think of this...

[rikij]

I have always partially associated H. with relationships, mainly because of the contrasts that exist within them. In a relationship you usually experience extreme highs of love and emotional satisfaction, and at the other end of the spectrum, you experience some of the most painful moments of life. I associate the line "considerately killing me.." with these contrasts. The deeply human connection that is, sadly, often only made in romantic relationships can be something that invokes fear and vulnerability. But once that vulnerability is exposed and "..the walls come down.." you realize that what you (both) had wanted all along, if you had just been able to free yourself from those preconceived boundaries, was the same. "...there's a look in your eyes, my fear begins to fade, recalling all of the times I should have cried..." You realize after exposing yourself that there is nothing to fear from vulnerablilty and that realizing this will free you to explore yourself and others in an A-fearful way, a way that is completely void of the idea of fear and subsequently, judgement and rebuke. I doubt this is even remotely like the intention of the origianal writer of this song, but that's what is so confounding about H. I always feel 'this close' to an emotional breakthrough but it's hard for me to think in abstractions sometimes...

Small side note...I also think that the idea that H. is somehow related to heroin is intriguing. I have a friend who swears it must be...

[Jojo]

The H. to me stands for Hydrogen, which is the first element in the periodic table. I think they gave H. it's name, because it could have been one of, or even the first song they wrote.. just my opinion



Jojo

[scorpioali]

h. means a lot to me becuase i always think about this "friend" i had during a very very difficult time in my life. i knew that she wasn't a real friend, that she didn't really care about me or my life, but i would still keep running back to her, trying to be her friend, always telling myself "if i can do this, she'll like me, if i do that, she'll see how much she's hurting me", etc. etc. she was...killing me inside. ah, i don't think i can really articulate how i felt/feel about that whole ordeal in relation to the song. i just knew that when i heard it, the words immediately struck a cord with me. and, yes, when i saw h. in concert, it was definitely the highlight of the show. i cried throughout the entire song because it means so much to me. but it's a beautiful and absolutely wonderful song.

[Hurt]

If you read my post, you know this song makes alot of sense in my mind. Addiction is only one of the meanings I see in H.; and it was the predominant one when I made that post. However, I, like many others, have always associated it with more than JUST drugs. I've associated it with addiction to emotions. To attachments.

So, you see.. I've been too connected to a person before, as well as a drug. (I suppose this explains my connection with NIN's The Perfect Drug as well)

Seeing H. in concert was just... amazing. The concert I was at, August 17 in Providence, was even more special because Maynard was struggling. This show proved to me that Maynard isn't a God; he's only human. Well, I was struggling too, in a relationship, at the time. So hearing those old familiar words, "I have died, and will die. It's alright. I don't mind. I don't mind," from the mouth of, not someone above me, but another human... it was enough to make me break down and cry.

[ProfoundHaytred]

When i told my friend damien that i really like the song H., he told me that every time he hears this song he gets this eerie feeling that his girlfriend/fiancee, is killing him, or is trying to..now it took me a while to grasp this subject but when i did it made alot of sence, he said that she was trying to get to him threw his emotions and doing it behind his back, like "snake behind me hisses" refering to being double crossed by a loved one. ist kinda hard to explain, but in truth he is still in love when she is killing him...
im done

[cassiopeia]

Personally i identify with "H" because i do find a real close correlation of the song with my relationship. I believe this song could be about any kind of addiction, drugs or otherwise. I feel that i am too connected and attached to slip away and fade away from the person i love. And at any time that i do attempt to separate from him i still feel him touching my mind my body and my spirit. Of course this is too much to handle, love is in good times and bad times like a drug, u want it more and more even if it does bring you pain. But all in all, what it does is that it changes you, u become dependent, or u unite with the other person physically, mentally and orgasmically. And of course when they play it live it becomes a sort of spiritual experience. if this song does refer to heroin, i guess thats also something that makes u feel awesome but at the same time its damaging you and 'considerately killing' u. The snake reference is some sort of symoblic reference to something u could be scared of. Initially nobody wants to feel pain, and as the snake hisses, "My blood before me begs me open up my heart again" meaning that something inside him is telling him to open up and let this emotional scary feeling in. And then when the realization comes that this feeling has been felt before hes says 'i should have cried then', meaning that he shouldve accepted and let that emtion out and not hide it.Finally, 'as the walls come down and as I look in your eyes my fear begins to fade recalling all of the times I have died and will die. It's all right. I don't mind.' Its true he doesn't mind, hes lived it before, it hurt a lot, but still hes not afraid to live it again. This is my connection, i stare into his eyes and i tell him 'i dont mind'...do whatever it is that u want to do to me...

[DrDuke]

i just recently started to understand parts of the lyrics to H. i was having arguments with my girlfriend and i started reading the lyrics and i really started to understand them. when it says "i am too connected to you to slip away fade away" i interperate that as being in love with someone so much that it is impossible to just forget about it and end a relationship. and the "considerately killing me" part is the seperation from your lover breaking your heart.

[Anonymous]

This is in context with the message at the top, as H is one of my favourite Tool songs. Personally i dont beleive the lyrics are all that important and i dont exactly try to understand them or try to relate to them. The reason why i love H so much is because of the music, like many Tool songs, this one takes you on a journey and i love the point at which Maynard cries out he doesnt mind, all aspects of the song at that point totally overcome me and make me feel uplifted. In an interview on Loud with Maynard, he states that he is only 1 quarter of the band and that its not all about the lyrically content but more so the music. If anything, H just tells another story or idea that Tool has explored, created for our enjoyment as the listeners. I dont know if anyone else can relate to this or if this is just a load of crap but its why i love H and why i love Tool.

[ragna16]

I love H because of the rich symbolism, and the idea of being torn by two ideas/people/drugs/whatever, neither of which are filled with malice toward you, but one is inherently bad for you.

[dope beastie]

To be honest, the lyrics and the meaning take a back seat to just being a Tool song that I can sing. It's melodic and I like Maynard's voice a lot. I know I sound kind of petty or shallow about it, but sometimes I just get tired of evaluating everything and I just want something that I can sing.

[timesig.net]

H. has a very interesting guitar part that does, in fact, never really stay the same. Throught the song it never seems to even out. The only thing I can hear 2 times is the quick G and D thing. The time signatures are boring, just 4/4, but nonetheless this song still intrigues me. Like many of the songs on aenima this seems to be loaded with many contradictory statements.
Still, the haunting words "I dont mind" give a sense of hopelessness, directly following this the music sounds like it is throwing the words back at Maynard by actually killing him. All tool songs are ingenius(by my decree it apparently isn't too much of a task), but they don't all make sense by just face value. This music is written for musicians who can comprehend what each note feels like, or a listener who is 100% devoted to making the music enhance his or her life. H. is like a test to me to see if I can control my emotions while playing as emotionally and intelligently as possible

[the count]

he refers to something that is as he says 'killling' him, but its 'sweet' ('some sweet gravity'). at the start of the song, its as if he doesnt so much mind whatever is causing the pain, and the guitar part echoes this. but at the bridge part, or what i will call a bridge, the tone of the song changes. 'without the skin, beneath the storm, under these tears, the walls came down'. i feel this is a turning point in the song, where he goes from not minding to examining the effects whatever he talks about is having on him. also, i feel that its purposely ambiguous, talking about things that pain us, but we dont see them until its too late.
still, my favourite tool song.

[Danz0r]

Wow.
You people have brought a whole new like to a song that I never really thought that indepth about. Not only did you give me ideas of what you all think it means, but I now have room to listen to it more deeply and make my own interpretations. Inlight of all this, I just wanted to say thank you.

[wuphat]

Well, it's taken me a long time to realize why H. is my favorite Tool song. It has been since I first heard it and until recently, I could never have explained it.

Basically, to me this song touches on my non-relationship with my biological father. He left when I was 2 years old, so I never got a chance to meet him really. Now this is a tale all too common anymore, but that doesn't make it any less painful to a boy growing up. I'd seen pictures of him in scrapbooks, heard stories (mostly bad), and mostly hated him. As I got older, I started to look remarkably like him and started to see behavior in myself that was stikingly similar to patterns that I'd heard of him--lending creedence to the genetics theorists out there, but that's a whole different discussion.

So, here I am 13 or 15 and deciding, fuck it, I don't care anymore about him, no more questions, and I will not be like him. Fast forward another dozen years and out of nowhere he sends me a letter in a sad attempt at penance...and here are all these issues brought up again after I've dealt with them in my way...

To me, he is the snake, he is my mirror, and I am his snake and his mirror. I no longer hate him for what he did, I'm indifferent, but "my old muscles" are digging at me to hate him once again while another part of me wants to give him another chance. I look back and see what could have been had he been in my life and see a worse situation, so I can't hate him for leaving. Maybe there were times I should have cried over not having him and instead let things fester. And the whole time he was gone, I could feel a connection to him, no matter how long it had been.

I hope this helps you in your question as to the relationship part of things and how people can love this song so much...I guess it's different for us all.

[oneELEVENone]

to me, the snake symbolizes the devil on his shoulder. tempting him. telling him to give up or he'll parish, so to speak. he says he doesn't mind dying, and therefore resists the temptation. that is just one example of what this song could mean. there are many other directions that it could go, but this one kinda sticks out in my head, cuz it's the one that i can relate to the most. cuz if we're gonna die anyway, then why quit what we're doing?

[Colicab]

Originally posted by oneELEVENone
to me, the snake symbolizes the devil on his shoulder. tempting him. telling him to give up or he'll parish, so to speak. he says he doesn't mind dying, and therefore resists the temptation. that is just one example of what this song could mean. there are many other directions that it could go, but this one kinda sticks out in my head, cuz it's the one that i can relate to the most. cuz if we're gonna die anyway, then why quit what we're doing?

Well Said. The thing about Heroin though, it could all mean the same thing. We have talked about a friend maybe, the devil angel on the shoulder type thing. Tool has always written songs to have many meanings, and I think we are hitting the mark here.
What it means to me is that there is always somethign comforting at the end of a cycle. Life is one big cycle and we just keep going. this comforting thign could be a friend, or it could be more heroin to ease the pain of the cycle of withdrawl. But I think you shouldn't forget about the circle, if you see the visuals from the concerts. You should know that a snake is eating its body but laying a new one down when it passes over. A repeated cycle. Maybe there is somethign bright at the end, but you always end up goign the same way.

[EmbraceTdOxOmL]

Has anyone concidered H. standing for Humble?? just imagine how difficult it would be to remain truly humble despite all of the temptation and vulnerability that fame and money generates. living under a blanket, keeping your back to those opportunities, day after day. i cant put the amount of respect i have for them into words. go over the lyrics once again with that theory in mind. ...its just a different angle in which to look at this song.

[flipmojo]

This song could be closely related to "The Grudge".

It seems that someone did him wrong. It scarred him, so now he feels the person haunting him, because he hasn't let go of the pain they inflicted. He is tired, so when the past (the snake behind) pulls at him and the future (blood before him) pulls at him, he can't decide where to move and runs out of energy.

<Holding a grudge prevents any new movement or growth.>

So, when the walls come down (grudge of the past) and theres a look in your eyes (in the moment) the grudge is released through forgiveness. In retrospect, it appears to him that part of him died (Recalling all the times, I have died... I don't mind). It could feel like dying if it sucked out enough time and energy to reach true forgiveness.

In the end, he makes it through the trial and now has a future with that person. A new opportunity at their relationship. It has a happy ending, like some love stories do, so thats probably why couples like this song. This one is my wifes favorite.

[Evan]

I love what was said earlier about H standing for heroin--I had never thought of that, but it makes (at least near-)perfect sense. Well, my first guess was that the H. stood for hydrogen, because i read that at innuendocornecopria and it makes sense it light of what some of the previous posts said. One thing to consider about the snake is that it is most likely a biblical reference--the snake in the garden of eden. Obviously the temptation aspect makes sense as far as why they chose the snake for the symbol. This song is definitely about "addiction" in a loose sense of the word. Where hydrogen comes into play is that hydrogen is a highly reactive and combustable substance, and not only that it will form a bond with almost any other atom (due to its one electron--remember chemisty??). Taking this idea also loosely, the song seems to me to be about strong relationships that are formed with a rapidly changing or rapidly chosen partner, and then holding on for dear life....why? Maybe someone will help me out here, because i haven't really thought this out completely.....maybe it's better that way.... laters

[Misoanthropos]

i have always been much more in tune with the musical and melodic nature of music instead of the lyrics

the song starts off with a roar
then drops to a whimper in every instrument
the choruses showcase incredibly powerful harmonies and are catchy


this is the song that got me into tool...even though i hated the soft vocals at that time (5 years ago) the guitar melodies and staccatto drum clicks and beats forced me to listen over and over...i got used to the vocal delivery...and from that point on all vocals were judged from there...and the structural form of the song is very interesting...2 choruses with the same vocal melody and lyrics but different guitar parts...

that is why this song became and instant favorite to me....when i played guitar this was my fave song to play...i had vulnerable parts with hammer-ons and pull-offs that sounded almost legato, lots of palm muting on those bits which simply sounded cool...it gave me a new dynamic to mess with when i played guitar...and of course the choruses and solo...it was so grand...and the fact that i didn't have to play the same bit for the last chorus as i did the first made it a lot more worthy...and those little notes at the end...

it was the first song i learned to play that sounded amazing without the need for drums, vocals, bass, etc...the guitar dynamics emphasized when the drums would be there playing loudly...or when a low bass note hummed below it...

truly a guitar masterpice...thank you mr. adam jones...

thinking about this was slightly nostalgic....and wholly orgasmic..

[Googadust]

I love this song for all the reasons stated above.

I did think of one interpretation, though. The lyrics can in many instances relate to the story of Genesis, told through Adam's perspective. H can stand for Heaven and/or Hell, or in other words God and/or Satan.

"What's coming through is alive.
What's holding up is a mirror."
This could be Eve, mirror of Adam, in that they are both human.

"But what's singing songs is a snake
Looking to turn this piss to wine."
This could be the snake (which represents Satan) luring Eve to eat from the tree of knowledge, seeming to try to make their situation better.

"They're both totally void of hate,
But killing me just the same."
Both God and Satan can be seen as void of hate, Satan being another option (ok, I know this is a stretch). The snake is killing them with temptation, God with ultimatum (and subsequent ejection from Eden).

"The snake behind me hisses
What my damage could have been."
More temptation

"My blood before me begs me
Open up my heart again."
Eve's persuasion for Adam to eat the fruit? (Antoher stretch)

"And I feel this coming over like a storm again.
Considerately."
This could be the foreboding after commiting the Original Sin, the knowledge that God will punish them, the God of infinite love, who left Adam and Eve stricken out of Eden. Their resulting turmoil (having to work to survive, childbirth, pain, death, etc.) is a lesson, a considerate slap on the wrist compared to what God could have done

"Venomous voice, tempts me,
Drains me, bleeds me,
Leaves me cracked and empty.
Drags me down like some sweet gravity."
More snake temptation - obviously sinister


"I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me."
Eve was the only one Adam knew; she was made from one of his ribs. Despite what has happened, he can not give her up. People influence people, people's actions have consequences. Actions not meant to harm may.

"Without the skin,
Beneath the storm,
Under these tears
The walls came down."
Satan is unveiled and present, and God is disapointed. Life is hard outside of paradise.

you know what, its 4am and I'm tired. Maybe I'll finish this later.

[ginbot462]

In reply to the very 1st post in the thread... A friend of mine (I am not saying that cause I am shy, it is just not my story) and his girlfriend were seated in what looked like a really bad section at a concert. There were pillars or speakers in the way. So, most people left. They were left all there all by themselves, however when it started... they realized they could look right at Maynard. During this song, Maynard sang right in their direction (my friend attests at them). So, it gave the couple this eerie vibe and stronger connection to the music in that moment.

While I don't have any epiphanies such as this, the first time I heard it ... I instantly associated it with a quick and firey romance. I was on the receiving end come closure, so the song sort of purt the hurt in a perspective. Cause she did change me, and I was never the same afterwards. Yet, I still felt something there ... that I couldn't let go for a very long time. And that was the "Days away I still feel you, Touching me, changing me" was the emotion that wouldn't die. Intellectually, I saw "Recalling all of the times, I have died and will die" as this continually meeting and losing of love (making that spiritual connection with your other half, whoever they are "emboding" at the time). It takes a while sometimes to make the heart agree though, and open up ... so that you can meet someone again.

[Tayloe41800]

Well its concideratly killing me. I was just thinking about this line today. I think this line is just Maynard being sarcastic. Like saying to the heroin "thanks for killing me" cause it will kill over time. The most simplistic but amazing line to me is "days away i still feel you" Its very direct in it meaning. Several days after use, a user will still feel all sots of things being withdraw or addiction or whatever. I Hate the fact that we sit and try to analize a genius' thoughts. But I guess thats what art is all about

[Mobyhater]

H. is one of those songs that could be taken a thousand different ways, and might even mean different things to the same person depending on where it's heard, what else is going on, current moods etc.

As far as the connection to relationships is concerned however, it's certainly something I can relate to. H. for me is an exploration of human relationships in general. It's not specifically relating to one relationship or person, but to the way relationships can dictate your life in general. For me, the snake and the mirror symbolises history in relationships as much as anything else. The snake is the fear, whether that be fear of rejection, general insecurities, fear of the same thing happening as happened "last time"... whatever. The mirror is the good side of it. It's about the emotional highs and lows that come with connecting with another person.

"I have died, and I will die, but it's alright, I don't mind"

It's all in those lines, exploring similar things to The Patient perhaps, the feeling that the things you can get out of relationships, whatever they may be, might generally be worth it in the long run.

For this reason, H. has always been a song that I've been able to connect to through "infatuation", and even in those low emotional states this is a wonderful exploration of human connections.

[nikstar]

This is really not deep at all, but this song was on repeat practically this entire night my boyfriend and I lay together saying nothing and just holding eachother.. Every time I hear "H." I think of how hypnotizing it is, and how hypnotized we really were by it.. and I remember how analytical I was about the whole song, in my mind, but I never said a word. It was weird.

If we want to be less enthralled by the relationship theory, you could think of the "considerately killing me" line and a few others as a Dr Kevorkian reference. The snake... I dunno. It's after work and I'm far too tired to go into detail. Sorry for starting what I can't remember how to finish.

[Hyatir]

I see the speaker in this song as having to choose between 2 different influences, say 2 different friends. Theyre both trying to change him, to sway him to their point of view. Perhaps these are the same 2 that Maynard speaks of in Eulogy, whom he has freed himself from in Stinkfist and Eulogy, respectively, and now are coming back to try and befriend him again. One of them, his blood and mirror, is the speaker from 4 degrees and who he rejects in Stinkfist. The other, the snake, is the hypocritical, harmful object of the Eulogy.

"Without the skin,
Beneath the storm,
Under these tears
The walls came down.
Whitout the skin meaning making yourself vulnerable to the other, taking a risk for the chance to emotionally connect . The storm and the tears a reference to lachrymology, that only through a painful experience together can you grow close like this.


And the snake is drowned and
As I look in his eyes,
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of those times."
This is the most emotional part of the whole song to me, where the speaker realizes that the hypocritical influence will eventually be destructive to him no matter how good it feels to do what he(it) tells him.


Choosing the blood/mirror, the same person who tried unsuccessfully to change him in 4 degrees, is the turning point of this album.

[FearKills]

After reading every entry in this post, I now feel more enlightened on the subject, and now can better describe my thoughts and feelings on the song.

H, for me, seems to be the power struggle between two different emotions for one person.

"They're both totally void of hate,
But killing me just the same."

--Your love, care and passion for one person is great. But when your in a position where you can't express and indulge in this love, having the option itself doesnt matter, it kills your just the same.

"My blood before me begs me
Open up my heart again."

--The option. The choice to go on, even though this person has emotionaly devistated you. The choice to open your heart again to this person.

"And I feel this coming over like a storm again.
Considerately."

--Everytime you engage in a disposition with this person, and it starts to swell and emotions run high, it tends to overtake you, like a storm. Violent and unpredictable in outcome.

"Leaves me cracked and empty.
Drags me down like some sweet gravity."

--The negative side, the disadvantage, the misery of this relationship.

"I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me."

--The emotional, unbounding force that holds you connected to this person, and as some people see it, the connection/addiction to a chemical, which can also be related not just as illegal drug, but certain chemicals inside our bodies that imitate and allow us to feel pleasure. Even when your in the midist of not speaking to this person or having contact with the object, days away, you still feel it. In relationship sence, that time apart and the festering emotions of what you have, had and what could have been, considerately kill you, emotionally.

"Without the skin,
Beneath the storm,
Under these tears
The walls came down.
And the snake is drowned and
As I look in his eyes,
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of those times.
I could have cried then.
I should have cried then.
And as the walls come down and
As I look in your eyes
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of the times
I have died
and will die.
It's all right.
I don't mind."

--This right here, is to me one of the best works of art I have ever read. This right here can be taken into so many contexts and on so many levels thats its unbelievable. But I'm going to give the reference that I relate with the most. Right here is where a certain contemplation takes place. After all that has been said and done, the person looks back and realizes that this isnt the first time he has been emotionaly tried. He has survived this and so much more, that to lie in the misery of this struggle is worthless. There is no need to let this rule your life. No need to let this overtake you. You are only mortal, and now to make a reference to Parabola

"Embrace this moment. Remember. We are eternal.
All this pain is an illusion."

--All of this unneeded pain and suffering is worthless and partaking in this battle is futile. It simply dosent exist.
____________________

That was my views and interpretations.

Needless to say this song means alot to me, and I refer to it towards a relationship I, in some way, have. When Tool played H, I was with her. We held hands. I was crying the whole time, but I was emotionaly flooded when it came to the middle. My eyes also flooded with tears as I clutched her hand. This is by far one of my favorite songs of all time.

[harmonizngviper]

Metalanarchist, this is my semi-take of H. I am not going to get too deep into it though. I do connect with this song on a level thought, and it was the highlight of their show.
I believe that H. is, as an easy explanation, about being in a relationship that is not good for you. It hurts him:"Venemous voice, tempts me, drains me, bleeds me, leaves me cracked and empty, drags me down like some sweet gravity." And she is "Considerately killing" him. He is unable to break it off though, because he is too connected. He finds the person intriguing, which is where the snake comes in. Snakes are viewed very differently by some people, but personally, I find them interesting, even though many are deadly. I believe that is how the narrator views snakes...intriguing, but deadly(the antagonist in the relationship). The "piss to wine" line shows that the person amazes him, since turning someone's piss to wine would be an amazing feat.
He finally finds the courage to leave the "snake", but he is scared of connection now. He finds someone else, though, and that person breaks down his barrier, and he becomes connected to them.
Another thought: People think the H. is an initial...I think it is a symbol. Look at what an H looks like. It is to lines(people), with a line between them. The connection.

Sorry this is kinda choppy...i have to get all my thoughts out.

[extentions]

To me this song is about choice and making the right decision. The two entities mentioned are parts of the same person who influence his decision making process, two naturally occuring parts who are incapable of hate because they are NOT individuals. I also think the song has alot to do with personal freedom and peace of mind. The subject is certainly struggling with these two and it troubles him that there are only two choices and not a third. 'Snake behind me hisses, what my damage could've been. My Blood before me begs me, open up my heart again. And I feel this coming over like a storm again....considerately' I sense that the man is running away from life and doesn't want to take responsibility for the decisions needs to make in order to survive. I also agree that this song is very similar to 'The Grudge' The snake is the entity in whom he has trusted for a long time now, unfortunetely he has become addicted to its temptations and is trying to pull out but doesn't know how because of his own deep seeded insecurities. Its been a long time since he's opened his heart to let the blood in. The frustration is mounting and he sees the storm approaching reminding him that he needs to make a decision. The storm could also symbolize tears, or the feeling in your chest that wells up before you cry. The choice is clearly between the snake of the desert which implies a dry climate and death or the heart full of blood which implies liquid or life. 'Venemous voice tempts me, drains me, leaves me cracked and empty, drags me down like some sweet gravity' The part about sweet gravity is very close to the effects of the Undertow and euphoria and how that tempting voice is always sweet and dumb-striking.

Its a struggle for the man, but he finally lets go and cries, looks back on all the times he could've cried and let himself go, but he continues to look forward to see this through, to see the wall come down and the snake drowned. And when he sees that hideous snake drown, his fear begins to fade. The enemy that has been controlling him for so long has lost its power, but apparently only temporarily 'days away, I still feel you touching me, changing me, and considerately killing me'

There are many correlations between this song and Bottom from Undertow. What I don't understand is that Bottom has a very defined directional straight forward resolve in comparison to H. and its on an Album previous to that of H.

I could be completely wrong of course.

[2L8665]

Good Posts; Great thoughts.

[whiteroomeyes]

I think that the emotional connection comes from the lyrics

When the snake is drowned
I see the look in his eye
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of the times
I coudl have cried
I should have cried
And then the walls come down
And theres that look in her eye
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of the times
I have died
I will die
It's allright
I don't mind.

The way I see this its about opening up to someone, or something. Theres also the music. I think that the rythms and melodies just lend themselves to that feelng. Pardon any misquoting on the lyrics, they were off the top of my head. Thanks.

[APerfectTool624]

In my opinion, most of you are wrong. In order to understand the song, I think you have to interpret Maynard. Ænema, in my opinion is a big story of his life. Maynard's name at birth was James Herbert Keenan. Now if we look at the songs on the CD, "Jimmy" is all about him, (James= Jimmy), and "H." being his middle initial. You can say H. means Heroin, or heaven, or Hydrogen, or any kind of silly stuff like that, but I'm telling you how it is. :-P

I think this song is about pure sacrifice. And I hope that I convince you of this by the end of my post. The main line to completely throw off about 50% of all of the other posters is "They're both totally void of hate, but killing me just the same."
In my interpretation this is about being in love with his best friends girlfriend. He never tells them. It is all bottled inside and he has to find a way to work around this anger, this sadness that forever encompasses him. He cannot just merely slip away and let all of that go. And the chorus of the song completely shows all of that. "I am too connected to slip away, to fade away, days away I still feel you, touching me, changing me. And considerately killing me."
CONSIDERATELY KILLING ME. How perfect to describe this situation. These 2 people mean no harm at all, and love him just as well... but he is torn up by his emotions and his feelings. But the escape cannot be found by just leaving.
I see "the snake" as his emotions, and everything that he has kept inside of him, in order to not hurt these people.
So "as the snake is drown" is refering to him finally finding that comfort inside of him to completely sacrifice all of his emotions and not let any of this out. To swallow it all. And he says it... he looks it in the eye. "Recalling all of the times, I could have cried then, and I should have cried then." Maybe that is some regret there, that he didn't let it be known, and should have had that shoulder to let him dispose of all of his feelings, love, anger, and sorrow.
But then it kicks back in... now looking into "your eyes" (the girl). "My fear begins to fade, recalling all of the times, that I have died, and I will die. But it's alright. I don't mind. I Don't Mind. I DON'T MIND!"
There is the major sacrifice there. He can look into her eyes and remember all of the times that he has not even wanted to live. To give up and forget about everything. And he knows that he will die many many times to come. But all that is nothing. He doesn't mind. He will keep pushing through this situation, acting fine, dying inside.
The song finishes with a very powerful, and even louder and more destinct chorus verse, that fades off into a repeated ending of "considerately killing me."

That is how I see this song. My favorite song.

[rebecca22]

whats coming through is alive
whats holding up is a mirror
but whats singing songs is a snake
looking to turn my piss to wine

looking at your reflection paying attention to your 32 vertabre and scull 33 in all. Then snake is inside us, and in anything with a spine.

my blood before me makes me, open up my heart again

you live your ancestor's emotions, your blood flowing as a part of them, they are alive, in you, now.

as the walls come down, as i look in your eyes
my fear begins to fade recalling all of the times
i have died,

reincarnation of sorts.

and will die, it's allright, i don't mind.

when we realize what we are, what we are made of, how we'll physically die, but are blood will live on through our children, species, planet, universe, reality...

[stalkingbutler]

Personally H is one of my favourite tool songs simply because of the music.I havent really tried to interept the lyrics in depth yet because to me in this song more than most they seem very open to intereptation, moreso than most.
But the music, ooh its just so mind blowing. From the very start, the way the introduction just seems to kind of envelop you, sort of like flood.Later in the song when the verse is over and you and anticipate a chorus and you instead get this cachophany of noise, it just reinforces the beleif that tool are masters of the unexpected, its enough to make one cry.Then when the chorus finally arrives, you can feel it building up, you know its coming, the music swells and then.....BANG!This song is the most pleasurable and stimulating tool song to listen to in my opinion.
Maynard screaming "I dont mind" as the music crashes around him, amazing.I also think that this song contains dannys best ever drum performance, listen close and be amazed.
Well thats it really, thanks

[ckm]

I can't add anything to the debate over the meaning of the song, but this is my favorite Tool song, and always will be. Here's why.

One day I had driven to the coast to take care of some business at the site for my wedding. On my way home I had popped in Aenima and went into a reverie while listening to "H". At the line, "I will die. I don't mind", I just knew that I didn't fear death as I had love in my heart. It was a powerful moment. In that moment I lost any fear about marrying my wife.

I must admit to being kind of disillusioned when I hear Maynard is somewhat promiscuous in his life. I just assume that someone who writes about these feelings would "do the right thing" so to speak and truly love one other person. It's the same feeling I get when I realize that all the great love songs by Elton John/Bernie Taupin are written about other dudes. Just some projection on my part, I guess.

[g-bay-be]

AT first the reason I liked the song was because it was SO musical. It had raw emotion poured into it


H. is a song that touches me. At least from the veiw I interpret it. I interpret almost exactly how Looque does. Its a song that reminds me of my surroundings. The snake is always thee wether it lives in the people around you or when your watching TV. Something is trying to change you

[i_like_black_666]

H. is one of my favourite Tool songs. My favourite part is "as the walls come down, and theres a look in your eyes, my fear begins to fade...." when i first heard it without knowing the lyrics or what the song was about, i thought that that part was about somebody loving someone so much, and having everything going wrong and fucked up and the world is ending etc., but just looking at this person makes everything alright, and you're happy again. I'm pretty sure it's not what its about, but i still think thats really amazing.

[Luna Galapogos]

Perhaps this is the same as what others are saying, but oh well. I lost my g/f, and after that I still loved her, but she wouldn't allow me near in any relational way. She did the whole friend thing, but it was killing me. She didn't want to do this to me, and there were times that I wanted to die, and I should have died then, but I didn't, and I don't mind. Times when I cried and times when I felt like I wanted to, I should have cried, but I didn't, and I don't mind. Eventually of course I never killed myself, but I was always too attached to let go. Too attached to her and to life. The snake I believe can be and certain number of external things in your life that remind you that you must continue on even if your relational life makes you want to do the opposite. The snake whispers to open up your heart again, but you say no, and you kill yourself, nobody wants this, it is done 'considerately.' Eventually I opened up again a little, fortunately started hanging out with my ex again. She learned much during our seperation, and now she loves me more than she ever did before, and I love more than I ever did before. I think that although something may be killing you considerately, perhaps it is only that moment, that present, in time it might have been setting itself up for a rapturous future. Allowing yourself to die, be killed should not be an option. As far as your present, perhaps it is bad, I don't mind, things are setting up even if it seems to be killing you. That is what I get from the song, often times it has made me want to cry as well. Maybe I should've cried. I don't mind. That was that present, now it is this one. Comments are welcome.

[Rakeri]

Luna, this is... exactly what I feel, I lost my... "girlfriend", under quite unique circumstances, and as I heard this song, I felt it fall into place exactly. This song can be seen as portraying an addiction, withdrawal... well, she is my addiction, and I'm suffering severe withdrawal. Indeed she too didn't banish me from her life completely, but every time I see her, she/it kills me, considerably, considerately. Moreover, what's holding up IS a mirror, when I see her, my interaction with her now, whatever little, shoots me with the realization that (this may seem odd or just overly common) I to her, is analagous to my parents to me, all that I hate in them, much of it I see in myself directed at her. I fear, there is no hope of us ever ending up back together. Well... this is a disconnected post, sorry. This song more than any other Tool song or any song at all, contains such lyrics that I complete connect to, there isn't a single line that is off, one that I can't translate to my reality... and... as I listen to this song I should cry, but I don't, not like I sometimes uncontrollably do for Blue and The Noose, and various others that also hit home.

"I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away."

I am alive now only because I hestitantly made a promise that I would not end my life, at least not for 10 years (I couldn't make a more ultimate promise, for I might break it, and I can't break my word to her)

I have died
and will die.

in the past I have died at any thought of me losing her, and now... I am dying, life is a game of holding out until the promise expires and then... then I don't know.

"Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me"

it has been a while, yet everywhere I go, everywhere I look, whenever I talk with anyone, I feel her, I see her, and it kills me, as it does this very minute... kills me just so much to make life a living death at times when I'm not distracting myself with some trivial task self-assigned to do just that, during which time I'm only a mindless zombie... without her I am only a machine, I cannot purge this from my mind. and all this time among the many nightmares, this fantasy sweeps through me:

"catch me
heal me
lift me back up to the sun "

and sometimes I try to absorb and adopt this lyric... alas with little success:

"I choose to live, I choose to live "

[tomatoms]

it's about slipping into a narcosis, the temptations that get you their, the taunting of yourself to yourself, and the impending feeling, and the realization that you are back "without the skin here, beneath the storm" maybe there is skin beneath the storm, that's what keeps him coming back for more. experiences that bewilder, calm, sooth and caress the soul, but drain life.

[Thrakandor]

I posted this on another board. The meaning of H. hasn't changed in quite a long time, for me.

I interpret it as a precursor to the evolutionary themes of Forty-six & 2. Talking about past selves, past interpretations, and the realisation that you have to let a part of yourself go to move on. I think the general idea is best illustrated by a line from 'Flood' -

"I was wrong, this changes everything."

That to me seems to be the essence of H. Bit by bit -

"What's coming through is alive,
What's holding it up is a mirror;
What's singing songs is a snake who is
Looking to turn my piss to wine. They're both
Totally void of hate, and
Killing me just the same, the
Snake behind me hisses
What my damage could have been; my blood before me begs me -
Open up my heart again, and I feel this coming over like a storm again,
Considerately."

What's coming through is alive - these are the parts of himself that he is identifying and trying to let go. The mirror is a reference to the fact, I think, that he is looking at a part or parts of himself. Snake = temptation/evil - the desire to "turn his piss to wine", or to just let his faults remain and accept them without exorcising them - basically the temptation to take the easy way out. The mirror (the self) and the temptation are both void of hate, as they are his emotional reactions in favour of preserving who he currently is - change is hard. The snake hissing of his damage may be further fear of what might happen, what he might fuck up if he tries to change, but the blood before him - something that he's fucked up again, maybe? - shows him that something definitely has to be done; he can't stay like this any longer. And so the old question, the old fear, the old tumult and conflict about what he should do arises again. Considerately? Why, it's a part of himself. This thing he is contemplating - it's not trying to hurt him... but it is, nonetheless.

"Venomous voice tempts me, drains me;
Bleeds me, leaves me
Cracked and empty; drags me down like
Some sweet gravity. The snake behind me hisses
What my damage could have been; my blood before me begs me -
Open up my heart again, and I feel this coming over like a storm again, now.
I feel this coming over like a storm again, now."

Further temptation to walk away, to leave it be, and change nothing. The intensity of it grows, the struggle arises.

"I am too
Connected to you
To slip away, fade away -
Days away I
Still feel you,
Touching me,
Changing me,
Considerately killing me."

Speaking to his old self, or to the parts of himself that he sees as needing to be terminated. Of course then, he will be connected to them. Long after the fact ("days away..."), after the time he integrated or first noticed these negative things about himself, they are still hurting him. They still affect him, and they still are gradually euthanising him.

"Without the skin, here
Beneath the storm
Under these tears, now
The walls came down."

Taking a close look, truly understanding what he has to do for the first time. Catharsis; weeping... epiphany?

"And as the snake is drowned, and as I look in his eyes,
My fear begins to fail
Recalling all of the times I could have cried, then -
I should have cried, then."

The temptation is drowned beneath his knowledge of what he has to do; he's no longer afraid, and realises he should have opened himself up to who he was long ago - he can deal with this issue, now.

"And as the walls come down, and as I look in your eyes,
My fear begins to fade,
Recalling all of the times I have died, and will die;
It's all right,
I don't mind."

Back to the mirror - as he looks at his reflection, he realises that he can keep himself, and recalls that he has, perhaps, done this before - parts of himself have died, and will die again, and it's okay, because it has to be done.

"I am too
Connected to you
To slip away, fade away -
Days away I
Still feel you,
Touching me,
Changing me,
Considerately killing me."

I don't know about the repetition here, it endangers my interpretation somewhat. If he's drowned this part of himself, why does he still speak of it? Maybe musing upon the knowledge that there are more things to discover, that evolution does not end? Maybe the past never ends.

Puzzling.

[AllforUnity]

That was interesting. l liked it.

[stavrogin]

I think the snake is the same thing with the shadow found in the sober song. And it's I think obsessiveness. Look out for Obsessive Compulsive disorder. According to Jung theory if one's instincts that doesnt fit with society is repressed too much then it turns in itself and start to destroy the repressed one. This is the snake eating its own tail thing. And this disorder(obsessive compulsive disorder) is an anxiety disorder so it can handicap the person in very bad ways and it can also hinder you from reaching the person you love make a real contact with the person. It puts a wall between. But sometimes this disorder is gone and sometimes the person gets in a reliefed state and see his obsessions as a thing not to worry. It's this times he says the snake is drowned and he could have cried then because he sees his concerns and anxiety are of no reel value and it's not in his hands to put them away. And at some of these times when he look in the eyes of the person he's loved he also recognizes the times he died because of this and will die again he choses to do so because he dont want leave the person loved.

[AllforUnity]

Could you explain why you think that way?

[stavrogin]

Ok, You know the line in sober, why can't we not be sober? Just want to start this over In obsessive compulsive disorder, there comes a spike first(obsession) and this creates a great anxiety. In order to remove this anxiety you have to do some actions.(It can be thinking over and over and proving yourself there's nothing to worry or doing some ritualistic actions) at the end of these actions you can get some kind of relief. But in some time obsession comes again and you have to do these actions again and again to get reliefed. Also in 46&2 there's line such as this. I've been crawling on my belly Clearing out what could've been. He's again and again try to clear out a threat that may be. This can be some prove for my thinking. Also look out for my interpretation for h.(maybe about ocd and cant reaching to a person because of this disorder) posted at 8-18-2003. Though i have to change somethings on that interpretation. If administrator lets :).

[TriggerFinger]

The H. to me stands for Hydrogen, which is the first element in the periodic table. I think they gave H. it's name, because it could have been one of, or even the first song they wrote.. just my opinion



Jojo

I dont think this one has anything to do with hydrogen. But, nice try. To me, this song is about anything addicting, may it be heroin or what not, that is bad for you but good to you. Anything that leads you to temptation, hence the snake that tempts Eve into eating the apple that she was told not to eat. So the snake being the bad addiction and the apple as the feelling you get. Another thought i have is alot of the cd is about addictions and trying to avoid them. PuShit for example, to me is about an addiction. "Saw that gap again today," the addiction, "managed to push my self away" resisting the temptation. And to me the addiction is a loved one that you have a falling out with. The person isn't exactly good for you but you have to have them. There pushing and you shoving and ur slipping back in tot he gap again but in the end it all works out for the best and you leave them "remember i'll always love you, even as i tear you fuckin throat away," saying basically I'll always love you evn thogh I am ending this. "This will end no other way" saying that it has to end this way and theres nothin we can do about it.
So, now that I've been on and off the subject of this forum, hehe, I think that H is about and addcition along with PuShit, which are on the same cd hmmm...
And by the way thats just my opinion im 13 and am a dumbass so it wouldnt surprise me if im way off. lol

[porter200]

I think that "H" is about a realtionship, but I do not think that the relationship is with another person, but with yourself. I think the song is about finding out about yourself, and when you realize who you really are, you don't mind considerately killing yourself because you realize your whole life you have been lying to yourself about who you are and what you are about. Think about all the times that you have lied to someone else and to yourself, and you never got caught, and you were so happy that you got away with it...but you didn't because when "H" happens you realize the true you and then you die. The reason maynard says "I have died and will die" is because you life is a big circle and each time you go through you die when you realize that all you have been doing is the wrong thing and then life starts over again, and you have another chance to do it right, but like the song says the sanke is the devil who gides you down the wrong path, and you will dies over and over.

[clown137]

to me H. always meant opening ur mind and what would of happened if u didnt. especially the line:

And as the walls come down and
As I look in your eyes
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of the times
I have died
and will die.
It's all right.
I don't mind.

the part about dieing is as if saying "i have made mistakes, i will make more, but it dosent matter because in doing so i will evolve".

[theotherlight]

I really wanted to contribute to this post, though it may just get lost in the jumble of everyone else's wonderful feelings about the song.

I didn't get a chance to read through ever post in this thread, but a lot of them seem to be about relationships with lovers. Mine, predictably, is no different. This song always reminds me of this one girl I liked so incredibly much, but she never ended up feeling the same about me. Specifically parts like "I am too connected to you to slip away, fade away. Days aways I still feel you touching me, changing me, and considerately killing me." What this means to me is that no matter how she thought about me (even when she didn't feel the same about me at all, which was the case), I always felt I was too connected to her to just give up and walk away and move on. As well, I find that she's always on my mind, and even if I won't see her or talk to her for days, she's just still with me in my heart and mind, and it almost kills me when it reminds me how much stuff I put myself through because of her. It changed me then, and it still does today.

As well, "As I look in your eyes, my fear begins to fade, recalling all of the times I could have cried then, I should have cried then" is relevent in that whenever I'm around her I feel like I'm totally void of fear and she's such a comforting soul to me, but it still makes me look back at all of the times she unintentionally hurt me but I chose to try and ignore it; I could have cried, I should have cried.

I'm sure there's more, but I've blabbered enough as it is.

[Torpid_Prey]

Personally H is one of my favourite tool songs simply because of the music.I havent really tried to interept the lyrics in depth yet because to me in this song more than most they seem very open to intereptation, moreso than most.

this was one of the first songs i tried to get the most meaning out of the lyrics simply because of the music that surrounds the vocals. the structure of MJKs lyrics is nothing short of exquisite, and i am also a nutter when it comes to lyric interperatations - i always try to figure out what a song means, and if its a song that i like, then its always a huge priority for me.

True - the song will appear different to every listener, just beacuse everyone has different experiences, but i like to try to think what maynard was thinking as he wrote it, as well as tryin to come up with my own personal views.

altho just reading theotherlights post already says that the majority of people share my views also. but the same view doesnt equal the same experieces. however this post is nearly identical to what i was just about to say so read his and you'll get my view too :P

*** ']['orpid Prey ***

[AperfectTool]

H could relate to relationships in several ways but here's how it does for me:
I think of my first love when I hear this song because he cheated on me and it ruined every relationship I have had since then, which relates to the line "days away I still feel you touchin me changing me and considerately killing me" Because what he did to me still affects my life and still kills me inside. The line "the snake behind me hisses what my damage could have been, my blood before me begs me open up my heart again and I feel this comin over like a storm again" to me means the snake is merely a memory, a feeling, a reminder of what could have happened to me had I stayed but I need to open my heart again as the intensity of falling in love comes over me like a storm. Then again this is only my personal interpretation.

[AllforUnity]

Ah. lt makes more sense to me now. Thank you.

[Torpid_Prey]

H could relate to relationships in several ways but here's how it does for me:
I think of my first love when I hear this song because he cheated on me and it ruined every relationship I have had since then, which relates to the line "days away I still feel you touchin me changing me and considerately killing me" Because what he did to me still affects my life and still kills me inside. The line "the snake behind me hisses what my damage could have been, my blood before me begs me open up my heart again and I feel this comin over like a storm again" to me means the snake is merely a memory, a feeling, a reminder of what could have happened to me had I stayed but I need to open my heart again as the intensity of falling in love comes over me like a storm. Then again this is only my personal interpretation.it initially sounds similar to the other posts, but as i read on it started giving me a much clearer understanding to not only the song but some situations of my own...

Ah. lt makes more sense to me now. Thank you.yes thank you

*** ']['orpid Prey ***

[AllforUnity]

l liked your first post Rakeri...l also know how it feels to 'feel' the line "Days away l still feel you touching me, changing me, considerately killing me."