David
11-19-2002, 11:15 PM
There have been 2 instances in my life where H. has really helped me get through what life dealt me. The first was during the end of a really unhealthy relationship that I had poured my heart and soul into to try and make work. It was that point in the relationship where you look at the other person and know in your heart it is not going to work out at all but you're too stubborn to give up yet. "I am too connected to you to slip away, fade away, days away I still feel you touching me, changing me, and considerately killing me." Everything had gone to crap and she was killing me but I couldn't help but still care for her on some level. And at times like that all you can think about is how crappy you feel at that moment yet "the snake behind me hisses what my damage could have been," things could always be worse. And in the weeks and months following this breakup I think the line "my blood before me begs me open up my heart again" really impacted me a lot. Because at that point in my life it would have been really easy for me to be mad at the world and down on relationships but I knew that if I ever was to be in a healthy relationship again I was going to have to get past it. Of course it didn't happen overnight but knowing that it *could* be done really helped me heal in a healthy manner. And for months after every time I heard "under these tears now, the walls came down" I got a little misty-eyed because until you can tear down the walls that you've built up around your soul no one will see the beautiful person you are. And no matter how hard I tried, I put up walls to *try* and protect myself though I knew that it was counterproductive. And I know in my heart that the pain I went through, the "piss" will one day be turned to "wine" and I will be a much better companion for having gone through this learning experience.
The second event that this song helped me get through was the death of my best friend, Jason. I am 23 and he was my best friend through high school and college. He was the nicest guy and purest friend I have ever known. He died suddenly, it was a rock climbing accident. We shared so many memories and had the greatest times of our lives when we were together. He introduced me to two of my girlfriends, one I dated for almost 2 years and the other almost 4 years. This guy was more important to me at the time of his death than anyone else in my life, family or otherwise. He died almost 3 months ago, and everytime I hear H. the line "days away I still feel you touching me, changing me" I know that there won't be a day in my life that his life and death won't affect. I never thought about giving a eulogy before, but I had to at age 23 and that was quite a big dose of reality and fragility.
Making positive changes in your life following a negative experience and continuing to grow as a person, that is what H. means to me, and that is how I have come to try and live my life. Overcoming adversity and becoming stronger in the process. This isn't an interpretation of the song, just how it has impacted a few of my life events, and if you've read this far I extend my sincerest thanks to you for sharing this with me. And to maynard for making himself vulnerable enough to put into words what so many of us feel everyday.
Long may you run,
David
The second event that this song helped me get through was the death of my best friend, Jason. I am 23 and he was my best friend through high school and college. He was the nicest guy and purest friend I have ever known. He died suddenly, it was a rock climbing accident. We shared so many memories and had the greatest times of our lives when we were together. He introduced me to two of my girlfriends, one I dated for almost 2 years and the other almost 4 years. This guy was more important to me at the time of his death than anyone else in my life, family or otherwise. He died almost 3 months ago, and everytime I hear H. the line "days away I still feel you touching me, changing me" I know that there won't be a day in my life that his life and death won't affect. I never thought about giving a eulogy before, but I had to at age 23 and that was quite a big dose of reality and fragility.
Making positive changes in your life following a negative experience and continuing to grow as a person, that is what H. means to me, and that is how I have come to try and live my life. Overcoming adversity and becoming stronger in the process. This isn't an interpretation of the song, just how it has impacted a few of my life events, and if you've read this far I extend my sincerest thanks to you for sharing this with me. And to maynard for making himself vulnerable enough to put into words what so many of us feel everyday.
Long may you run,
David