What I think H. means...

[h...]

Seriously, this is what I think Maynard was thinking when he wrote the song. I think it's about him choosing between heroin(or another drug; I'm guessing heroin because it's called h.) and his son, Devo H., and him using his son to try to get over drugs. Just think of the snake as the addiction, and everything will seem to fall into place. The whole song goes with my interpretation, just go over and listen to the song again.

Someone I know told me he thought that. Then I also read in an interview that he said it was about his son, Devo H. Keenan. Plus at many of his concerts, he said that it was about having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other one, and having to make a choice.

I'll go more in depth to the meaning later, I'm about to go somewhere.

[h...]

"What's coming through is alive.
What's holding up is a mirror."
-This part is talking about his son being born.

"But what's singing songs is a snake
Looking to turn this piss to wine."
-This part is introducing the addiction and how it makes his pain go away("looking to turn my piss to wine".) It could be about any kind of addiction: drinking, smoking, drugs, or anything else that could be considered a bad habit thats hard to break.

"They're both totally void of hate
But killing me just the same."
-This part is about the irony about how neither the addiction nor his son hate him, but they're both killing him(literally or not).

"The snake behind me hisses
What my damage could have been."
-This parts about how the addiction convinces him to use the drugs saying how much he would have suffered if he hadn't fed his hunger(this part is foreshadowing how he eventually chooses the addiction over his son with the quote "...could have been..." It will be be more obvious that he chooses the addiction at the end of the song.)

"My blood before me begs me
Open up my heart again."
-This part is about how about his son(his flesh and "blood") begs him to stop his bad habit and to "open up his heart again."

"And I feel this coming over like a storm again.
Considerately."
-This part talks about how the two fighting over you is causing a "storm".

"Venomous voice tempts me
Drains me bleeds me,
Leaves me cracked and empty.
Drags me down like some sweet gravity."
-This is just describing how the addiction makes him feel if he doesn't do it. It drains him, and leaves him feeling empty. If he doesn't do it, it brings him down like gravity.

"The snake behind me hisses
What my damage could have been.
My blood before me begs me
Open up my heart again.
And I feel this coming over like a storm again."
-This part is the same as before...

"I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me."
-This is a strong part in the song. It doesn't really tell if it's talking about his son or the addiction. But this part just talks about how he is too connected to it to just leave it and go to the other one. It says how it touches his life and changes him, eventhough it is killing him(either the addiction physically killing him, or his son killing his current lifestyle.)

"Without the skin,
Beneath the storm,
Under these tears
The walls came down."
-This part is setting up for the next part...

"And the snake is drowned and
As I look in his eyes,
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of those times.
I could have cried then.
I should have cried then."
-This is the "up" part of the song. It tells about how the craving for the addiction goes away after looking in his son's eyes. He's not scared of his addiction anymore now that he's there with his son. Then he recalls all the times that he should have suffered from the addiction("I could have cried then, I should have cried then.")

"And as the walls come down and
As I look in your eyes
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of the times..."
-This is the same as before, but the next part is way different...

"I have died
and will die.
It's all right.
I don't mind."
-This is the twist in the song. The part where he says "and will die", he pretty much says "fuck it", and he goes on to feed his addiction. He goes and drinks, smokes a cigarette, does drugs, or does another bad habit. He then says "It's alright, I don't mind", like he's saying don't feel bad for me, I feel alright.

"I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me."
-This part is just like the same part before, but now it's obvious that he's talking about the addiction. He knows its killing him, but he doesn't care.

This is my favorite Tool song, and this is just my interpretation. I went through something similar to this song. I think that's why this song means so much to me.

Tell me what you think of this interpretation.

[AllforUnity]

l don't know if l fully agree with all of it. Some points you made fine and l do agree with, others not. But all in all it's a nice, interesting interpretation of the song.

[The Grudge]

I agree with most everything you said...I had never thought about this song that way, with the heroin and shit, but it makes alot of sense.

[salival_sty]

"They're both totally void of hate
But killing me just the same."
-This part is about the irony about how neither the addiction nor his son hate him, but they're both killing him(literally or not).


I think your interpretation is definitely interesting (if not necessarily definitive). In connection with the little slice above concerning literal and figurative killings, I'd suggest you take a look at a poem by Donald Hall called "My Son, My Executioner." (It's basically a play on the figurative killing you make reference to above.)

As for the "I have died/And will die/It's all right/I don't mind" section, I don't think it need be read as a surrender to the original state (which you interpret as addiction). The idea that the birth of a child is a sort of death is not an uncommon one--After all, how many events in life remind people as vividly of aging as becoming parents? Perhaps this is a depiction of the first revelation concerning life's cyclical nature?

(And Aenima does seem to be the incipient album in Tool's coverage and apparent acceptance of this cyclical view of the world. Think "I can't imagine why you wouldn't welcome any change, my friend" in connection with a clear call for annihilation. Think the near-ending of "Useful Idiot" that only gives way to the new beginning in "46+2." Etc.)

At any rate, much of your interpretation is beautiful, and I thank you for having shared it.

[h...]

Thanks for all of your replies. AllforUnity, if there's anything you're not sure about, ask me, because I'm not too good at choosing the right words(like right now) so some parts of my post might not seem right. I know that this is the opinion section, and you have the right to have your own opinion on the song, but if you want me to clarify anything on my intepretation on the song, just ask.

To The Grudge, thanks. That's mostly what I wanted to do by posting my interpretation of the song. I wanted to just show people what I thought it was about, and that not all songs about drugs(if it is about drugs) are bad.

And to Sylival_Sty, thanks. I wanted to get at least one post like yours. I've been told by a friend that I should read that same poem, but I haven't been able to find it anywhere. Do you have a link of a place that you think might have it? I would appreciate it.

And for the "I have died, and will die", I wasn't too sure about that part either. Or at least I wanted to believe that it wasn't true...but now that I think about it, I think you might be right. When he says "I have died, and will die", he might be talking about how he chooses his son and that when he "dies", he's just going through different phases. For example, he's just a man, then that part dies and he becomes a father, then that part dies and he become a junkie, then that part dies and he becomes a father again. I'm sorry if this doesn't sound too clear, but like i said before, I'm not too good at picking the right words...

Anyways, thanks for all of the replies, and keep more coming...

[Metamorphosis]

awesome interpretation man, i think it goes quite well with the song... tho i have heard other interpretations of H. that are also convincing.

[Phlame]

thats not definately correct but you make a good interpretation of it and some nice points, its not nesicarily(sp) "exactly what he meant" but your opinions are as good as any.

[h...]

Plame, thanks for the reply, but I never said that's "exactly what he meant". I said it's what I think Maynard was thinking, and what it means to me. And what makes you so sure you know what the songs about(trying not to say it in a mean way). You say "thats not definately correct" like you know what the song is really about. If you do have an interpretation of the song, post it.

And for Metamorphosis, thanks for the reply. When I went over to the "Pushit" board and read you post, you gave an interesting post. I was discussing "the universal energy theorem" with someone I know not that long ago.

[supersonic2006]

Your interpretation is very well thought out and explains everything.

But I've always seen the "I have died, and I will die, it's allright" as being him realizing that he will have to sacrifice and he will have to go through pain for his son, this especially makes sense when the music becomes loud and chaotic and explosive, representing, in my mind the trials and difficulties that he has to face as a parent, and his conflicting emotions on the subject. but "it's allright, I don't mind. I am a part of you and you are a part of me and I'm too connected and i've decided to stick with you and i wont' leave you and I won't slip out of your life, even though doing so you in affect are hurting me, i'm sacrificing for you." and then the music calms down and the story's reached its resolution.