PessimisticOptimist
07-31-2010, 05:16 PM
This song has taken on a very personal meaning for me.
I had a friend with whom I was practically brothers with from grade school, all the way up through high school. Over the years, we gradually found our way into the party scene and began to drink and eventually (inevitably) we found drugs too. I began to notice more and more, from the first time we ever drank as kids and on up, that as people, he and I took very different approaches to life. Whereas I usually liked to be informed before making decisions, he would rather dive in head first with reckless abandon. When I would make mistakes, I would strive to learn from them and use them as a frame of reference. While he would repeat them time and time again. (I hope people don't think I'm trying to paint a picture of myself as a saint here, because I was getting in just as much trouble as he was, but like I said. Different approaches.)
His mom didn't have the desire to be a parent and as a result she wasn't much of one. His dad was an alcoholic red neck and was never really a prominent figure in his life. My own parents realized this too and also recognized him as one of the family. He stayed with us quite a bit, especially throughout junior high, and these were good times. We had fun; we got into trouble, nothing too serious. Typical kid stuff, but as we got older so did the kid stuff. Pretty soon I began to notice my friend seeking out things that would lead to bigger and bigger trouble. And for a short time, I reluctantly followed. Not so much in admiration, but more so out of fear of losing a close friend.
Finally, we were arrested together for what eventually became, "burglary" (but that's a story on its own) spent a night in the detention center, and were sentenced to probation. This was the turning point for me. Where I decided I was no longer going to follow my friend into the bog anymore. I hadn't given up on him though. I decided that perhaps I could help my friend see it for what it was. Perhaps I could warn him. I could ask him to get out while he still had a chance.
Just as in lyrics of this song, my warning also meant nothing. I finally had to stop hanging out with him all together because he could never relax and enjoy life. Which I’m fairly sure he took as yet another person in his life just abandoning him, but I tried. I warned. I informed him as much as I could, but I had already made my own decision and I wasn't going to stumble in after him.
Now, I still drink. I smoke a little dope. For a time I had my fun with hallucinogens. Point is, I was never trying to tell him to be a fucking square, or to look to religion, or anything as condescending as that. My warning, and the warning I attribute much of this song to being about, was of the dangers of overindulgence. I have been fortunate enough in this life to have had parents that passed on these warnings to me without misconstruing the intended message. Which is why I felt as his best friend it was up to me to pass along these warnings of which I myself was already benefiting from.
A few years later, save for a few belligerent late night phone calls from him and stories passed on by mutual friends, I had not heard much from my old friend. What I did hear, progressively escalated (as was and has always been his pattern) until one day I read in the local blotter that he had been arrested again, but this time he was being charged with statutory rape. My friend was now lost in the swamp, and it was more than likely that the kid who I once knew so well would never come back again.
There are many meanings that can be taken from (or given to) this song. This is how I relate.
I had a friend with whom I was practically brothers with from grade school, all the way up through high school. Over the years, we gradually found our way into the party scene and began to drink and eventually (inevitably) we found drugs too. I began to notice more and more, from the first time we ever drank as kids and on up, that as people, he and I took very different approaches to life. Whereas I usually liked to be informed before making decisions, he would rather dive in head first with reckless abandon. When I would make mistakes, I would strive to learn from them and use them as a frame of reference. While he would repeat them time and time again. (I hope people don't think I'm trying to paint a picture of myself as a saint here, because I was getting in just as much trouble as he was, but like I said. Different approaches.)
His mom didn't have the desire to be a parent and as a result she wasn't much of one. His dad was an alcoholic red neck and was never really a prominent figure in his life. My own parents realized this too and also recognized him as one of the family. He stayed with us quite a bit, especially throughout junior high, and these were good times. We had fun; we got into trouble, nothing too serious. Typical kid stuff, but as we got older so did the kid stuff. Pretty soon I began to notice my friend seeking out things that would lead to bigger and bigger trouble. And for a short time, I reluctantly followed. Not so much in admiration, but more so out of fear of losing a close friend.
Finally, we were arrested together for what eventually became, "burglary" (but that's a story on its own) spent a night in the detention center, and were sentenced to probation. This was the turning point for me. Where I decided I was no longer going to follow my friend into the bog anymore. I hadn't given up on him though. I decided that perhaps I could help my friend see it for what it was. Perhaps I could warn him. I could ask him to get out while he still had a chance.
Just as in lyrics of this song, my warning also meant nothing. I finally had to stop hanging out with him all together because he could never relax and enjoy life. Which I’m fairly sure he took as yet another person in his life just abandoning him, but I tried. I warned. I informed him as much as I could, but I had already made my own decision and I wasn't going to stumble in after him.
Now, I still drink. I smoke a little dope. For a time I had my fun with hallucinogens. Point is, I was never trying to tell him to be a fucking square, or to look to religion, or anything as condescending as that. My warning, and the warning I attribute much of this song to being about, was of the dangers of overindulgence. I have been fortunate enough in this life to have had parents that passed on these warnings to me without misconstruing the intended message. Which is why I felt as his best friend it was up to me to pass along these warnings of which I myself was already benefiting from.
A few years later, save for a few belligerent late night phone calls from him and stories passed on by mutual friends, I had not heard much from my old friend. What I did hear, progressively escalated (as was and has always been his pattern) until one day I read in the local blotter that he had been arrested again, but this time he was being charged with statutory rape. My friend was now lost in the swamp, and it was more than likely that the kid who I once knew so well would never come back again.
There are many meanings that can be taken from (or given to) this song. This is how I relate.