Fuck You Buddy!!!

[Silence Legion]

"Hooker With a Penis" is by far my favorite Tool song. It describes a young man that the speaker meets, who wears name-brand clothing, and buys heavily marketed products. This kid tells the speaker that he (a fan of Tool from the beginning in '92, as he claims) thinks that the band Tool is giving up their musical identity for record sales.

According to the speaker, this kid has bought just about every product advertised to him, and Maynard is calling him out on it after hearing his criticism. In reply to his belief that Tool has sold out, Maynard says "All you know about me is what I've sold ya, dumb fuck, I sold out long before you ever even heard my name." I am not sure whether he means "sold out" as in giving up his beliefs for fame, or that his album was best selling and constantly sold out in stores, but both interpretations seem to fit into the song.

As for the name, I am not sure exactly where the title, "Hooker With a Penis," fits in with the song's story line of a young hypocrite criticizing the speaker for selling out. One theory of mine is this: all of our possessions are products, and all products need to be sold by their company. Perhaps Maynard means that a product is a hooker on the street, and the company making the product is the hooker's pimp. The pimp tells you how awesome this girl is in bed, and she looks really good in the light he shows her in, but when you get up to the room, she's got a fucking dick. Maybe what Maynard means is that products sold to us look awesome to own, but then the products begin to own you, and the hooker with a penis fucks you in the ass.

Also notable, is the song's mention of finger pointing. Pointing the finger seems to be a common theme in Maynard's lyrics, as it is mentioned at least once in all of Tool's albums accept for Opiate. In the Beatle's "Yellow Submarine," a pointing finger is a symbol of upper-class society turning its nose up to the common man. It seems that this is a reoccuring theme in Tool lyrics, and therefore very important to the messages that the band portrays.

The bottom line is this:
Hooker With A Penis is a song about how everything we see, hear, touch, smell, or taste is a product designed to get your money into someone else's hands. None of us can escape this fact, it's just how the world works, and to quote Vicarious, "So it is, and so it will always be."

[dancingflame]

when walking through the nature everything i "see, hear, touch, smell or taste" is for free- yeah man! and to keep the quotinggame alive- "imagine a world less cynical"...sorry, i don`t know why i write this...maybe i WANT to point the finger? hmmm...

[Yast3r]

Thanks for posting this, I never looked at the song in this sort of light before.

You brought up a whole lot of new and interesting points and really broke this song down for me. I previously had trouble understanding it, but now... now I feel enlightened.

Again, thanks for posting.

[Alex in Chains]

It's really nice to get a fresh perspective on a song. I always thought it was about a shemale prostitute.

[Inner_Eulogy]

Thanks for posting this, I never looked at the song in this sort of light before.

You brought up a whole lot of new and interesting points and really broke this song down for me. I previously had trouble understanding it, but now... now I feel enlightened.

Again, thanks for posting.

Really? I thought that was obvious and has been long since known

[Inner_Eulogy]

It's really nice to get a fresh perspective on a song. I always thought it was about a shemale prostitute.

Really? wow

**chuckles**


I thought everybody knew that's what the song was about (the OP's post). He's saying "fuck you buddy, you call me a sell out and look at yourself, I sold out long before you ever even heard my name bitch, as a matter fact, I don't really give a fuck, and what's funny is you still bought my damn record you fucking hypocritical little shit, go ahead, send me some more money, call me whatever the fuck you want cause I'm getting PAID!"

That pretty much sums it up as far as I'm concerned

Oh, and to elaborate, the one thing I'm not sure about is if Maynard's referring to the kid or himself as being "the hooker with a penis", I suppose that could go either way or both simultaneously.

[Alex in Chains]

Really? wow

**chuckles**


I thought everybody knew that's what the song was about (the OP's post). He's saying "fuck you buddy, you call me a sell out and look at yourself, I sold out long before you ever even heard my name bitch, as a matter fact, I don't really give a fuck, and what's funny is you still bought my damn record you fucking hypocritical little shit, go ahead, send me some more money, call me whatever the fuck you want cause I'm getting PAID!"

That pretty much sums it up as far as I'm concerned

Oh, and to elaborate, the one thing I'm not sure about is if Maynard's referring to the kid or himself as being "the hooker with a penis", I suppose that could go either way or both simultaneously.

But dude, he talks about nipple rings and shoving things up the shim's ass. I think the lyrics are pretty cut and dry. You're reading way too far into this. Also, Tool appreciates and respects its fans, so I don't think they would write such a negative song making fun of us for buying their albums.

[Inner_Eulogy]

But dude, he talks about nipple rings and shoving things up the shim's ass. I think the lyrics are pretty cut and dry. You're reading way too far into this. Also, Tool appreciates and respects its fans, so I don't think they would write such a negative song making fun of us for buying their albums.

Um, NO...you're obviously completely misunderstanding and entirely forgetting the lyrics. The kid in the lyrics is the one who has nipple rings and all he says is shove that finger up your ass to the kid that's pointing fingers.

Now I can see why you thought it was really about a hooker.

Ridiculous, I'm hoping you're just high or something...really.

Of course they like their fans, the ones who "get it", the message they're trying to convey, and he's not being negative to fans in general, the song is about this one guy, or any guy that fits that stereotype of this young hypocritical idiot fan that was calling them sellouts.

Perhaps you should take a time out and sit down and ponder this, it will eventually make sense....I hope.

It's not looking too deep into anything, it's really pretty obvious actually

As a matter fact, you're being wayyy too dense if you don't get it

[Yast3r]

All of this is news to me. Wow, who would have thought Tool's music could be so complex?

and Alex is right when he posts:
[...] I don't think they would write such a negative song making fun of us for buying their albums.

It doesn't make sense to me either. You guys are definitely reading far too much into this song.

[Inner_Eulogy]

All of this is news to me. Wow, who would have thought Tool's music could be so complex?

and Alex is right when he posts:


It doesn't make sense to me either. You guys are definitely reading far too much into this song.

Yas, are you serious? No offense, but you're usually fairly intelligent. There's no way at all that this is a deep interpretation BY ANY MEANS. Wow, my 5yr old could understand the concept of this song.

You know damn well Maynard can be a cynical ass to people and sometimes hates his own fans. Haven't you seen the videos of him talking in disgust of fans hurting each other in a mosh pit or walking off the stage because of it or him totally choking out the fucking idiot that ran up on his stage during a performance to give him a hug?

SERIOUSLY!!??

You've got to be blind to not see what this song is about, it's not EVEN an analyzation, it's in black and white...read the lyrics.

[Alex in Chains]

As a matter fact, you're being wayyy too dense if you don't get it

Excuse me, sir, but I believe this thread is an open forum to discuss our own opinions with no right or wrong answers and without having to fear that someone is going to laugh derisively at us and call us dense. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[Inner_Eulogy]

Excuse me, sir, but I believe this thread is an open forum to discuss our own opinions with no right or wrong answers and without having to fear that someone is going to laugh derisively at us and call us dense. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Ok then genius, please explain to me how in the hell you get from this song that it's about a hooker. Go pull up the lyrics and please make sense out of that. I would love to hear this

**sits down patiently**

[Yast3r]

Yas, are you serious? No offense, but you're usually fairly intelligent. There's no way at all that this is a deep interpretation BY ANY MEANS. Wow, my 5yr old could understand the concept of this song.

You know damn well Maynard can be a cynical ass to people and sometimes hates his own fans. Haven't you seen the videos of him talking in disgust of fans hurting each other in a mosh pit or walking off the stage because of it or him totally choking out the fucking idiot that ran up on his stage during a performance to give him a hug?

SERIOUSLY!!??

You've got to be blind to not see what this song is about, it's not EVEN an analyzation, it's in black and white...read the lyrics.

Well it's much like when people incorporate all the random numbers into the Lateralus album material. This song isn't quite so clear cut and the message is packed deep away in esoteric ramblings about a prostitute. I just never quite was able to move all of the confusion from the song to get to the meaning that a few of you here have.

I still don't think I see where you guys are coming from, but the OP somewhat opened my eyes. With all said however, I'm with Alex on this one. You guys are seeing too much in this song.

[Inner_Eulogy]

Here are the lyrics, please provide me with an interp of how the fuck you can take this song and see it being about an actual hooker. Seriously? It's in plain english in black and fucking white what he's saying and what it's about, NOWHERE in this song does he say ANYthing about a fucking hooker/prostitute. The song title is the ONLY thing that has the word hooker and it's an OBVIOUS metaphor, the ONLY metaphor, the rest of the song is direct and simple. If ANYbody is reading too far into this song it's you two, really, if you seriously somehow conjured up the idea that this song has anything to actually do with a hooker, then please, go over these lyrics and enlighten me how in the world you've come to that conclusion.


I met a boy wearing Vans, 501s, and a
Dope Beastie t, nipple rings, and
New tattoos that claimed that he
Was OGT,
From '92,
The first EP.

And in between
Sips of Coke
He told me that
He thought
We were sellin' out,
Layin' down,
Suckin' up
To the man.

Well now I've got some
A-dvice for you, little buddy.
Before you point the finger
You should know that
I'm the man,

And if I'm the man,

Then you're the man, and
He's the man as well so you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass.

All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.

I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.

So I've got some
Advice for you, little buddy.
Before you point your finger
You should know that
I'm the man,

If I'm the fuckin' man
Then you're the fuckin' man as well
So you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass.

All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.

I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.

All you read and
Wear or see and
Hear on TV
Is a product
Begging for your
Fatass dirty
Dollar

So...Shut up and

Buy my new record
Send more money
Fuck you, buddy.

[Alex in Chains]

Ok then genius, please explain to me how in the hell you get from this song that it's about a hooker. Go pull up the lyrics and please make sense out of that. I would love to hear this

**sits down patiently**

Fine, "genius." Here you go:

I met a boy wearing Vans, 501s, and a
Dope Beastie t, nipple rings, and
New tattoos that claimed that he

Maynard refers to the shemale as "he" because he's calling like it is. This is how the hooker was dressed.

Was OGT,
From '92,
The first EP.

OGT = Omni Gender Tranny
"He" got the operation in 1992.
Not sure about "ET," but I think it stands for "Excellent Prostitute"

And in between
Sips of Coke
He told me that
He thought
We were sellin' out,
Layin' down,
Suckin' up
To the man.

The hooker is accusing Maynardo of selling out because he's pretending to be straight when he's really bi.

Well now I've got some
A-dvice for you, little buddy.
Before you point the finger
You should know that
I'm the man,

And if I'm the man,

Then you're the man, and
He's the man as well so you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass.

Nardo is pissed that he's being outed by this ladyboy, so he lets shim know who's "the man" and tells shim to start fingering shis asshole to loosen it up for "Maynard's Dick."

All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.

This part should be in quotes, as it's the shooker talking at this point. Shim sold shis body for years before this exchange took place, and shim is letting Maynard know that he's dumb for thinking he knows anything about shim.

I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.

Maynard says, "Oh yeah? Well, you bought my album, motherfucker. So FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So I've got some
Advice for you, little buddy.
Before you point your finger
You should know that
I'm the man,

If I'm the fuckin' man
Then you're the fuckin' man as well
So you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass.

All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.

I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.

Already covered this, like Maynard later covered the tranny in his hot cum.

All you read and
Wear or see and
Hear on TV
Is a product
Begging for your
Fatass dirty
Dollar

So...Shut up and

Buy my new record
Send more money
Fuck you, buddy.

Once again, Maynard saying, "You bought my music." Now that I think about it, I guess the deeper interpretation would be that Maynard and the hooker with a penis are having a pissing match as to who had gotten more of the other's money.

QED.

[Yast3r]

Bah, I had my interpretation up but it is essentially the same as Alex's. It's funny we both thought the exact same thing about the song, so there is obviously more to this than you think.

Also, the "Laying down, sucking up to the man" bit is obviously referring to some sort of sex act that the prostitute was engaging in.

[Alex in Chains]

Also, the "Laying down, sucking up to the man" bit is obviously referring to some sort of sex act that the prostitute was engaging in.

obvsly

[Inner_Eulogy]

LMAO, holy fuck that's lame....allow me to fix this nonsense

[Inner_Eulogy]

Hilariously stupid. And you say I'm the one reading way too much into it...holy fuck that's funny.

Fine, "genius." Here you go:

I met a boy wearing Vans, 501s, and a
Dope Beastie t, nipple rings, and
New tattoos that claimed that he

Maynard refers to the shemale as "he" because he's calling like it is. This is how the hooker was dressed.
No, he met a BOY wearing Vans, etc...not a tranny, a boy...MALE, comprende?

Was OGT,
From '92,
The first EP.

OGT = Omni Gender Tranny LOL, holy fuck, are you fucking serious? OG is what gang bangers call the guys who were there from the start Original Gangster, so hence the term OGT. They're just playing a pun on the acronym calling it Original Gansgter Tool. Try reading the FAQ sometime
"He" got the operation in 1992.
Not sure about "EP," but I think it stands for "Excellent Prostitute"
No...DUMBASS, they released their first album (Opiate) in 1992 which was their first EP. Excellent Prostitute? I hate to be so mean and rude but goddamn that's fucking dumb. An EP is a recording containing more than one song...here, read this is you don't believe me
http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0geu.9z4XFK45QAEfBXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTEydTg2NTg 3BHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMQRjb2xvA2FjMgR2dGlkA0Y4MjJfODE-/SIG=11uvbo0oe/EXP=1249063667/**http%3a//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extended_play

And in between
Sips of Coke
He told me that
He thought
We were sellin' out,
Layin' down,
Suckin' up
To the man.

The hooker is accusing Maynardo of selling out because he's pretending to be straight when he's really bi.
FAIL AGAIN! What the kid was saying was that he thought they were selling out and sucking up to 'The Man', known as any big government or corporation...in this case, the record label. When record companies try to control a band and their style, he's saying they gave in and did what the record execs wanted them to do instead of what they wanted to do

Well now I've got some
A-dvice for you, little buddy.
Before you point the finger
You should know that
I'm the man,

And if I'm the man,

Then you're the man, and
He's the man as well so you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass.

Nardo is pissed that he's being outed by this ladyboy, so he lets shim know who's "the man" and tells shim to start fingering shis asshole to loosen it up for "Maynard's Dick."
All he's doing here is calling the kid a fucking hypocrite, the kid's pointing fingers at Maynard calling him a sell out and Maynard's saying fuck you hypocrite, take a look at yourself, selling yourself out to all these labels and shit the media sells you (ie Vans, 501's, Beastie Boy t-shirt and nipple rings...the kid's a walking product. He's saying ya' know what, you can point that finger up your ass you fucking hypocrite

All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.

This part should be in quotes, as it's the hooker talking at this point. Shim sold shis body for years before this exchange took place, and shim is letting Maynard know that he's dumb for thinking he knows anything about shim.
lmao, I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh but the stupidity in your theories is just beyond me. Maynard's saying motherfucker, you don't even know me, you don't know shit about nothing except for the music on my records...DUMB FUCK...I sold out long before you ever even fucking heard of me so fuck you piece of shit...how this isn't blatantly obvious to you two is just, wow, flat out ignorant

I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.

Maynard says, "Oh yeah? Well, you bought my album, motherfucker. So FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Taking another shot at the kid with this comment, saying dip shit, you know what's funny is all the shit you're talking and you fucking bought my record, haha, that's fucking hilarious. Who's the dumbass now?

So I've got some
Advice for you, little buddy.
Before you point your finger
You should know that
I'm the man,

If I'm the fuckin' man
Then you're the fuckin' man as well
So you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass.

All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.

I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.

Already covered this, like Maynard later covered the tranny in his hot cum.
lol, un-fucking-believable! The facts are all above in bold print.

All you read and
Wear or see and
Hear on TV
Is a product
Begging for your
Fatass dirty
Dollar

So...Shut up and

Buy my new record
Send more money
Fuck you, buddy.

Once again, Maynard saying, "You bought my music." Now that I think about it, I guess the deeper interpretation would be that Maynard and the hooker with a penis are having a pissing match as to who had gotten more of the other's money.
Maynards reiterating at the end that to some extent we're ALL sellouts. Everything you see and hear or read and wear is all propaganda by corporations to buy shit and make them rich. And then quips one last time saying fuck you, buddy, shut up and buy my new record and make my paycheck bigger, piece of shit

QED.

Wow, I'm just completely blown away by the sheer ignorance and illogical stupidity. The song is exactly what it says. Every explanation I'm giving is based on EXACTLY what the lyrics say. Every crazy ass thing you wrote is somehow taking what is said and making it into something entirely different.

I'll bet you still think Stinkfist is all about getting fucked in the ass too, don't you genius?

[infinitee]

I gotta go with Inner_Eulogy on this one. Fairly cut and dried imo.

But, to each his own.

[Alex in Chains]

Inner_Eulogy, while that is an interesting interpretation, I'm pretty sure mine is the correct one. To each his own, I guess.

I'll bet you still think Stinkfist is all about getting fucked in the ass too, don't you genius?

Um, no. "Stinkfist" is pretty clearly about being abducted and subjected to anal probes, genius. I thought everyone knew that.

[Yast3r]

Inner_Eulogy, while that is an interesting interpretation, I'm pretty sure mine is the correct one. To each his own, I guess.



Um, no. "Stinkfist" is pretty clearly about being abducted and subjected to anal probes, genius. I thought everyone knew that.

Stinkfist is about alien abduction and the start of a relationship with an alien being. (Track one of Aenima), which is why the Third Eye track is the last song of the album in which he is pleading for the aliens to come back to him and 'play'...

I thought THAT was fairly obvious as the reoccurring theme for the album.

As for your interpretation of HOOKER WITH A PENIS, the answer is staring you dead in the face when you read the title. It's about just that.

[infinitee]

Wow, i didn't realize that. I just thought it was about becoming numb to shit.

Thanks Yast3r!

[Silence Legion]

[QUOTE=Tool appreciates and respects its fans, so I don't think they would write such a negative song making fun of us for buying their albums.[/QUOTE]

Ok, if someone told you that the dream you worked your ass off to obtain was just the result of you kissing someone's ass, wouldn't it piss you off a little bit?

If Maynard really did have this conversation with an actual fan, that kid is a douche bag and deserves to be hated on every time tool plays my favorite song, hahaha.

[Schema]

All of this is news to me. Wow, who would have thought Tool's music could be so complex?

and Alex is right when he posts:


It doesn't make sense to me either. You guys are definitely reading far too much into this song.

Audience abuse is a very high art form, sir.

[marcus]

<-------

Please quit laying bait(Yast3r, AIC) and biting on it(Inner_Eulogy) in this section.

[Silence Legion]

I am not sure exactly where the title, "Hooker With a Penis," fits in with the song's story line of a young hypocrite criticizing the speaker for selling out. One theory of mine is this: all of our possessions are products, and all products need to be sold by their company. Perhaps Maynard means that a product is a hooker on the street, and the company making the product is the hooker's pimp. The pimp tells you how awesome this girl is in bed, and she looks really good in the light he shows her in, but when you get up to the room, she's got a fucking dick. Maybe what Maynard means is that products sold to us look awesome to own, but then the products begin to own you, and the hooker with a penis fucks you in the ass.

[Inner_Eulogy]

Inner_Eulogy, while that is an interesting interpretation, I'm pretty sure mine is the correct one. To each his own, I guess.



Um, no. "Stinkfist" is pretty clearly about being abducted and subjected to anal probes, genius. I thought everyone knew that.

lol, ok, well I'm done. It's obvious now that you're either just fucking with me or you really are just that fucking dumb,

[Inner_Eulogy]

<-------

Please quit laying bait(Yast3r, AIC) and biting on it(Inner_Eulogy) in this section.

Agreed

[Inner_Eulogy]

I am not sure exactly where the title, "Hooker With a Penis," fits in with the song's story line of a young hypocrite criticizing the speaker for selling out. One theory of mine is this: all of our possessions are products, and all products need to be sold by their company. Perhaps Maynard means that a product is a hooker on the street, and the company making the product is the hooker's pimp. The pimp tells you how awesome this girl is in bed, and she looks really good in the light he shows her in, but when you get up to the room, she's got a fucking dick. Maybe what Maynard means is that products sold to us look awesome to own, but then the products begin to own you, and the hooker with a penis fucks you in the ass.

I think it fits perfect, both subjects in the song are male hence having a penis but they're both in way selling themselves like hookers. The boy because he's a hypocrite and basically a walking billboard for all the name brands he's wearing while he probably doesn't even realize that he's doing it (ie Vans, Levis 501's, Beastie Boy T-Shirt, sipping on Coke...brand name products are everywhere, always will be) and Maynard because he's selling his personal work in his music, pawning it off like a hooker perhaps with his record label acting like they're his pimp.

[Yast3r]

<-------

Please quit laying bait(Yast3r, AIC) and biting on it(Inner_Eulogy) in this section.

Yessir. It was fun while it lasted though.

[Inner_Eulogy]

Yessir. It was fun while it lasted though.

I'm suing for emotional distress and trauma

[Alex in Chains]

Yessir. It was fun while it lasted though.

.

Inner, you really need to fine-tune your sarcasm detector.

[Alex in Chains]

<-------

Please quit laying bait(Yast3r, AIC) and biting on it(Inner_Eulogy) in this section.

Sorry, marcus. :(

[Inner_Eulogy]

.

Inner, you really need to fine-tune your sarcasm detector.

I guess so

[Schema]

I guess so

If you want, I can loan you my adjusty-thingy... wherever I keep that thing in the old toolbox... it's around.

[Inner_Eulogy]

If you want, I can loan you my adjusty-thingy... wherever I keep that thing in the old toolbox... it's around.

lol

[Schema]

I can't be creative all the time.

[Silence Legion]

lol yas and alex have a really... interesting point of view on this song. honestly i am amazed that you got that out of the song, and i too now feel enlightened hahahaha!!! while there is no way in hell this song is about a literal hooker, you bring up some interesting points, like the innuendo present in the line, "point that fucking finger up your ass."

Your interpretation of this song is just as valid as mine or inner's, but you shouldnt be so quick to shut out another's interpretation

[gonzo]

i thought it was about a transexual auto mechanic who likes dipsticks and fucked up Maynard's car.

jk

[dancingflame]

maybe going to a hooker means: you buy one thing but if it turns out she has a penis it`s not quite what you expected and then the question is: who fucks who??????????????????????????????? just a thought...

[EyeFlys]

Haha, Inner_Eulogy shows how much of a fucktard he really is, again.

[Silence Legion]

Haha, Inner_Eulogy shows how much of a fucktard he really is, again.

If you're going to attack someone, you should at least tell us why you think of that person what you think. Calling someone a "fucktard" (lol) without letting us know why is kinda gay.

[Schema]

I think everybody in this thread is being too smart-assed, so. I'll just say it right now...

I saw the thread title and the only thing I thought of was that "Canada on Strike" episode of South Park.

[usedabused]

I think everybody in this thread is being too smart-assed, so. I'll just say it right now...

I saw the thread title and the only thing I thought of was that "Canada on Strike" episode of South Park.

What are you talking a-boot??

[Schema]

I'm not your buddy, guy.

That is what I'm talking a-boot.