A New Song

[Elgyn]

I wrote this little tune a short while back, and have been thinking about posting it for a while. I've come a fair way since the last song I posted up, and its helped me out to have some people point out things (such as timing with vocals) which I could improve on. I've also been working on mixing in drums, and I learnt how to apply drum tab in Cool Edit with the samples I've got.

Just loving making music, and I'd appreciate any feedback.

"If you can't take the criticism you don't deserve the credit"

So fire away, tell me what you think.

Click---> . . o O o . . (http://home.iprimus.com.au/sylent/answer_02.mp3) <---Here

[Interbeing]

I wrote this little tune a short while back, and have been thinking about posting it for a while. I've come a fair way since the last song I posted up, and its helped me out to have some people point out things (such as timing with vocals) which I could improve on. I've also been working on mixing in drums, and I learnt how to apply drum tab in Cool Edit with the samples I've got.

Just loving making music, and I'd appreciate any feedback.

"If you can't take the criticism you don't deserve the credit"

So fire away, tell me what you think.

Click---> . . o O o . . (http://home.iprimus.com.au/sylent/answer_02.mp3) <---Here

Sounds good to me. I like it. Make more.

[psilomind]

You certainly seem to have improved a whole lot since the last songs you posted... and well, this is amazing stuff. Keep up the good work.

EDIT: Originally, I wasnt even going to post any criticism since I enjoyed it so much, but seeing how well you used the comments from last time I'll add some input to try and help you out wherever I can.

First of all, the vocals are great for the most part, but at times become a bit nasal sounding. So keeping that to a minimum could help out the overall sound of the song. Also, with the guitar, be careful to stroke the chords at a constant strength. Adding and attenuating emphasis from the wrong strokes adds an undesirable "home recording" aesthetic. The drums are just about perfect for my standards; simple yet effective.

[BrightyBrighty]

i love this song. i love the way that the last little riff ties the whole thing together. tell me have you heard of Dredg? it sounds like you might be reaching for a few notes. have you considered changing it into an easier key? other then that i thought that the vocals were great as well as the rest of the parts. keep up the good work!

[Elgyn]

Thanks for the comments guys.

Firstly, yes I've heard of a bit of Dredg. I wouldn't count them as an influence though. I can't really change the pitch of this song, since its presently in E Minor, and without dropping everything a whole step or two, it just wouldn't work.
The vocals in the second verse are pretty average in my opinion. I was in a bit of a hurry when I recorded them, and I had been meaning to redo it, but thought fuck it. I assume thats what you're talking about psilomind.

I appreciate your honesty on this. Believe me, it helps. Glad you liked it too.

Any other comments?

[rockfan7]

Dude that is a great song. The only thing I might suggest is to redo some of the vocals... But as you said it was a quick job. So I'm not complaining. Oh yeah, I REALLY liked the ending! It's so sweet. Keep up the good work.

[Edman]

You have a good grasp on singing, but you can tell by the sound of you pushing notes on certain parts that your breathing is a little of for it. When doing low notes or silent notes just push it all from your gut, not your throat. Your diaphram will make you sound great. Breathe low into your stomach before belting one out, not the chest, which sounds like what you are doing. High notes get sung in the 'head' this is a little different. My best advice is to just make sure your can feel the air pushing on your head. This takes practice though.

Keep it up. It sounds awsome.